Would you tell?

Acceptance of Trials

If you floated across time

saw yourself before you fell

that youthful instant in your climb

would you tell?

If you grab your shirttails hard

jerk your brain back to your shell

this time playing the right card

would you tell?

If the blunder turned to bliss

every aspect smooth and well

trouble failing but to kiss

would you tell?

If you saw yourself grow old

now so pure you wished you'd fell

and too weak to keep your gold

would you tell?

If you knew it was the pain

the makes every day a sell

For with none you never gain

would you tell?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved this poem. I do like poetry that ask questions.
"If the blunder turned to bliss
every aspect smooth and well
trouble failing but to kiss
would you tell?"
If blunder lead to kiss. Maybe blunder, not so bad. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mehameha]

Thanks my friend, I hope you are doing well. I apologize for my absence. Been working on guitar for awhile.
I know it is the struggles that make us strong, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like without them. But until then, we must find ways to justify our scars or grow bitter and lost in it's grip.

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm glad you are keeping busy and you are welcome my friend.

[Nigel Newman]

Very nicely done. Very well put. I like the repeat of would you tell. I like the way you show a tempting vision of reasons why, and then gradually flip it. Good work! BRs Nigel

[Mehameha]

Thank you for reading and commenting. I would still change a few minor things, but the big flops wised me up. I wouldn't want to be that ignorant in today's greedy world. Without the bruises I never would have learned. Or at least i keep telling myself that, lol.

[KT-B]

I liked this a lot, many trials we go through and wonder why? but in life's great tapestry we only see the messy side, not the beauty that unfolds on the other side - good stuff, :)

[Mehameha]

Thank you for reading and commenting. I've been watching too many Sci-Fi time travel stuff and as rough as I have made it for myself along the way, I probably would only change a couple minor things if I could. But the major blunders actually turned out better. Or should I say, made me better.

[emmajoy]

Whatever, however, someone suffers : can be something small that's merely a nuisance but, can be something so vast, the mind waits for a tsunami to drown its existence. It's what life does, throws so much tragedy, too often leaving scars inside and out. But reading again,, i wonder, perhaps people should stop being so stoical as to slowly kill their minds with grief, fear, perhaps plain stubborness. Would you stand by and watch someone you care about, suffer? Dear Lord, I hope not. So what's with the 'If .. would you tell? My answer has to be, 'Why not - why not tell?'

Your words are gently emotional.. perhaps its the calmness of their style. Maybe its the acceptance of how it is.. for you.

[Mehameha]

Yes, the subject is accepting of the the tragedy and is now contemplating that if given the chance and could live it again and had the power to make the tragedy not occur, either by avoidance or even dragging yourself away from it. Would you do that or would you be the person that you are now, maybe stronger because of it. Also maybe not so naive. I guess that was the point of the poem. Maybe to accept defeats as a good thing?

[emmajoy]

Many thanks for further explaining your thoughts

[barleygirl]

I admire your imagination in thinking of an original way to craft such a pondering, questioning message. The various scenarios you paint so well in each stanza are recognizable life experiences & the questioning refrain gives it a haunting quality like regret feels. Great job with rhyme & rhythm, too.

[Mehameha]

Thanks for your thoughts. I guess to me I clearly see the moments I would love to relive to my favor. My mistakes. If I was never there moments. What would life be? Better? Worse? Would marrying the girl of my dreams from high school for a few years only to have her die of an aneurysm and suffer grief. Or be married to a pastor who one day is involved with something criminal. I guess I just see innocent victims who have decided not to be victims somehow and have accepted their lives, moved on. Maybe this is how they did. Realizing that they wouldn't want to be the naive individual they once were, so they wouldn't wish their lives any different. Ok maybe a few things, haha.

[barleygirl]

Enjoying your continued share (above) . . . thanks for giving me more ideas of what's behind this message! (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i accept that i am growing old, but i'll never tell...that is my secret. :)))

[Mehameha]

Thank you. You are right for sure. Sorry for long absence. I've been working on guitar a big virtuoso piece and most of the hard work is done. Now just training the fingers for hours to perfect it. Classical piece.

[Max Swinden]

Nicely set and can be applied to so many different ideas but still cohesive.

[Mehameha]

Thank you for reviewing and commenting. The lies we tell ourselves for the scars we earn. Still if never tested, maybe we do get weak.