Damn

Last night I watched you cry
You came to me with an open heart
You told me that you loved me
And I held your hand


Last night I didn't cry
I held my heart together
I listened to your words
And I felt your hand on my face

For four days I had been crying
For four days I've been alone
I've been drinking, not been eating
I've been working, not been sleeping

I kept thinking how I need you
I kept thinking of your face
Your caramel eyes, your lips that were mine
Those cheek bones my fingers have traced

Last night you held me tightly
Ran your fingers through my hair
Told me to put my feet up
Unlaced, unzipped my shoes

You laced your fingers in mine
And told me you missed me for days
Told me you can't stand to see me walk by
When together we can't act the same

You asked me to stay the night
And in my spot in your bed I lied
You wrapped your arms around
You fell asleep, and then I cried

You live half a world away
And I've been given the gift of a year
And I made it half way through
I didn't think we'd end up here

You assume I'd never leave home
So that this would never work
But if you asked me, if you wanted me
I would leave my world behind

I talk deeply of my feelings
My insecurities, where my heart lies
But the thing you don't understand
Is how much it hurts for me to lie

I pretend that it's okay
Try to pretend, and understand
But there's nobody like you
My every thought is reprimand

I didn't mean to pull you closer
I didn't mean to hand over my heart
But if you knew you couldn't keep it
Dear god, why did we start?

All I know now is it hurts
And I want to hold your hand
I want to kiss you, say I love you
Say I need you, take a stand

What the f**k did you do to me
Why the f**k didn't I say no
Why the f**k did I let you steal me
How the f**k could I let you down

Why the f**k didn't you tell me
All this time I thought I was the only one
You've left me confused and heartbroken
Cause you couldn't speak the truth

Why did you wait until it was too late
Why didn't you give me all of you in return
Why do I keep asking why
Like it could ever matter now