Pledge

I sit here and lose myself

in the thoughts of years ago

In the images that pass

Of a once so happy home

And I am still connected

through the heart to those I love

but the ones I've lost, so many

are the ones forever gone

I look up in the mirror 

and I'll smile though its broke

my teeth are crooked, my skin is dry

your vision is life's tole

I used to want to do things

Go to school, have a good job

But it seems I've lost myself too

admist the inner angry mob

the music never plays

and my voice it never sings

the silence is my favorite

for i dont hear anything

the lights, they never shine

my eyes, they never see

the darkness is my favorite

for I see less of me

I remember when I was four

my house smelled of lemon pledge

and my mother weighed 100 pounds more

and my dad, he made her laugh

It was right after that birthday

when the house had smelled of must

with empty boxes filling

with the resonating dust

My mother laughs no longer

and she's skinnier than me

If I were to see her smile now

I wouldnt recognize her teeth

I was always told how much we looked alike

from the day that I was born

And now thats I'm older

I'm feeling just as worn

But its funny how your smile

after years and months have passed

still spreads like fire inside me

as if my blood was full of gas

and its funny how your laughter

makes me feel like im four again

in my bugs t shirt playing lucky ducks

there it is, the lemon scent