My Mind

I have a friend that lives behind my 

eyes. She is in my brain.

She tells me what to do, she orders me around.

She is the mistress and I am a slave.

She yells at me to put the knife to my wrist,

to the put the noose around my neck.

I don't want to listen.

But then she would get mad.

I do as she says, and when I do,

she smiles and grins knowing that

I am a part of her too. 

Reviews

[TawnyBlueStar]

hi
this is really good. very dark and the 'she smiles and grins' line is very sinister and instead of being the typical words of convincing someone to do something, you've used words like 'yell' and 'orders'
'She is the mistress, I am the slave' is my favourite line. Shows how you can never always be in control. seems in this case, she is never in control. I like how she considers her a friend in the first line too. very good poem
love it :D
I really like this poem

[roy mccarthy]

cool write,
dark and edgy!

[Luke Ritta]

great poem...it looks good and it read good. well done.

[paradise]

I reallyenjoyed this its dark and twisted but makes it worth the read it really caught my attention

[Seshat Nidaba]

I really like this, I often think about the mind-brain and mind-body problem. Although for you there appears to be no huge problem, which is good.

The part of the brain which would make a person cut is surely the amygdala xD The brain is more settled and finalized around age 25.

I like the line "I don't want to listen', the reason being I find biology often vetos our higher or more creative sides...

[absolutefolie]

Wow! The lines "She yells at me to put the knife to my wrist,
to the put the noose around my neck." were so unexpected, it hit me hard and I had to read over again. Love it, nice job :)

[Suheil Kapadia]

Dark and imaginative! Reminded me of Fight Club. Good write.

[Just Jayren]

Very clever, the readers constantly questioning the meaning throughout the read

[Libby]

I can relate entirely, great write c:

[Kyle]

Very imaginative! I like this and i feel the same about myself. I really do.