I Timco 1:1 (It Begins)

I Timco 1:1

 

In the Beginning was the Worm, and the Worm was in the Apple, and the Worm was the Apple. And the Apple was bitten into by the Long Pig, and the Long Pig had the Worm inside of him. And the mutation caused by the Worm became Human. And the Worm ruled him mercilessly.

 

 

It Begins (Misfit Poet Translation)

As Industry laid his apron of steel and stone on the bountiful green, the skeptical eyes of long pigs gazed angrily at the earth-raping spectacle. Their gruesome mouths even shrieked at the unholy endeavors of the soot-blackened demigods and their mutant minions. White fire spat from curved rods, cannons aimed heavenward vomited gaseous sin onto the glory of the everlasting blue soul, goggled eyes and leather fists scorched Creation.

Three vicious beasts rose up from the flames and seized power. The first was called Justice; an obese grey giant in a long dark robe. He held an oak gavel in his bulbous right fist and a fake golden scale in his left. The second was called C&S; a tall sickly-thin matron with red flowing hair. She held a golden scepter and a bloodstained cross. The third was called Hubris; a huge metallic golem whose mouth roared thunder and whose cold hands held a burning child and a shattered mother. This shadowy triumvirate tied puppet wires on hands and hooves. They ventriloquized the mouths of all living things. They called the new captivity Freedom; and thousands died daily in its name.  

The Old God fell silent in the wake of revving engines and rumbling armies. The Dark One danced on the heads of the Cold Trinity. Each life was given a box in which to grow and bloom, and a smaller box in which to decay. Each was given a purpose by which to serve the Great Mass Production, and a fixed circular track on which to move from purpose to box. The long pigs became the consumers of their own products, but paid all they earned back to the Cold Trinity to keep from being cast out or slain. Long pigs became godlike among the creatures of Earth. They renamed themselves humans; an uppity clan of prideful hypocrites. Nothing would ever be the same.

 

Reviews

[OT]

holy s**t!!! ha you're on fire!! this s**t was spitting acid - "held a burning child and a shattered mother" - woah!! I absolutely love the Animal Farm allusion - I've made a similar one in other poems! darn pigs sneaky little s***s - keep an eye on them... smarter than they seem!! haha far too many lines to attempt to pick out favourites!! brilliant!

[Kenneth The Poet]

A blistering gospel of kickassery. I bow before thy awesomeness.

[Dragonslayer57]

You have a spectaculsr way with words. I was intrigued and my intrest was focused upon every descriptive, active, and creative ues of the words making up your story. It is brilliantly put together. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

[Esoteric Strand]

Excellent. I'm already VERY interested to see where these scriptures lead us, as Long-pigs! This bit was golden:
"Each life was given a box in which to grow and bloom, and a smaller box in which to decay. "

Thanks for posting.

Regards,

E

[Kerry O'Connor]

They called the new captivity Freedom... now there's a paradox to emblazen on the side of a crumbling skyscraper...
Nothing like a bit of Biblical satire to rev the engines... and a good old slapping of man under the microscope so we can see the nasty bits up close. Long pigs... a snorted with laughter.

[freelancejouster]

ah this is brilliant. a creation story maimed by ugliness, i find it enchanting almost. a phrase that really speaks to me, it gave me chills, really, was "they ventriloquized the mouths of all living things. they called the new captivity Freedom; and thousands died daily in its name."

[Cocoacandy]

nice... i enjoy this one... makes you really step back and think about it... the work demands full attention to it... you cant half pay attention to it while ur reading it... good work, keep it up!
*cocoabean*

[Alicante lullaby]

brilliant indeed.

[roarke]

Now THAT'S what I call a first chapter! Crafting huge archetypes as easily as a child builds with blocks
"Each life was given a box in which to grow and bloom, and a smaller box in which to decay. Each was given a purpose by which to serve the Great Mass Production, and a fixed circular track on which to move from purpose to box."

Heavy stuff. I dare ya ta write a second chapter to this.......

[heido]

This is very "Revalations" or you. I lvoed the imagery and the use of vocabulary here. It overwhelms you and makes you feel weighed down, a great effect contextually. Thankyou for this.