Nov 21, 2005

Do you want to know why I turned toward God?  I couldn't deal with the heartache and amongst other various situations.  I wanted to give my pain and my problems to God.  I am weak.  We are all weak and very fragile creatures.  I couldn't handle nor bare with the pain.  As I've mentioned before, we often wonder why things happen in our life.  Why was that individual brought into my life only to cause me pain?  Or why is this horrific event happening to me?  I don't deserve this!  Does that sound familiar?  Rick Warren couldn't have put it any better, he said, "To bake a cake, you must use flower, salt, raw eggs, sugar, and oil.  Eating individually, each of these items is pretty distasteful or even bitter.  But bake them together, and they become delicious."  There is no doubt in my mind we are being shaped to be what God wants us to be.  It's how you react and deal with it that counts.

I've had some serious issues in the past, and I still have issues to work out.  As Doug Robb (from the band Hoobastank) would put it, "I've been crawling in the dark, looking for the answers."  It's no wonder I bumped my head!  I turned on that light because it hurt so bad, and that light is God.  I once heard, "Where there is light, there cannot be darkness."  We just need discipline from God as we would discipline our children.... and why do we discipline our children?!  It is because we love them and want the best for them, just like God wants for us.

I've been blessed so much in my life.  I have the opportunity to sit down while I'm working and listen to the gospel.  I have amazing friends.  I have an awesome family, sure we have our issues.  But if we lived a life without pain or grief.  Who would we fall onto when we are weak or hurt?  One of my biggest fears is expressing myself.  I couldn't stand to let others know how I felt inside.  But don't you see how God is using me to spill my guts on paper so everyone can read?  He is using my greatest weakness to show how glorious and loving He really is.  That just goes to show you anyone can serve God.  Never in my whole life did I ever think I was going to inspire anyone toward Jesus.  It is absolutely wonderful and so real that I'm serving God by inspiring and serving others.    Sometimes when I'm at work listening to some Christian music or a preacher, I feel like I'm being filled with the Holy Spirit and it's so overwhelming I get a little teary eyed!  I can feel God's love!  How's that for expressing?!  Although I'm gonna cringe when I let people read that.  But it's okay because it's all for the glory of God and just goes to show you how wonderful He really is.  Let down that wall of pride between your heart and Jesus.  Let Him into your life.

I once read in the bible that anyone who doesn't serve God is useless to Him.  It sounded a little harsh to me, but it's the truth!  I speak for myself, but I don't want to be useless to the One who created everyone and everything!  Serving God is like playing on a baseball team that we know is already going to win.  We know God triumphs over evil anyway.  But you have to play to win, and by playing you are serving.  God doesn't want any bench-warmers or anyone in the crowd watching.  We are all in this together.  Show your love!