Oct 31, 2005

I feel like I have to type this because I'm about to explode.  So much just keeps running through my head.  But what I want to say first is about my blogs.  I love it when I get a lot of positive responses on them and when I hear they inspire all of you.  Here's the thing, I'm not looking for your praises or how awesome you think I am, (that's if you do).  Let me ask you this, when you receive a package from UPS, who do you thank?  UPS?! nope!  You thank the person who sent it to you.  I'm not sending you these blogs.  I'm just a messenger.  God just helps me take this from my head and put it on paper.

You know what I hear a lot, and it bothers me to a certain degree.  I hear people don't like someone because they do stuff they don't like.  Whether they do bad stuff towards them or to their own life.  What is the point of not liking someone?!  What is that really gonna accomplish?!  In the past, there was quite a few people I didn't like because I thought their actions and decisions were completely idiotic.  We need to look at our own problems first.  But instead of not liking someone or hating them, pray for them.  It's all about love.  Think about it, how can you hate someone, when that someone is God's creation.  How can you hate something God made?

As of right now, I don't hate anyone.  Even though there will be times when people treat me like garbage.  I can't escape that.  There was a time in my life when I would hold a grudge against a person or curse them.  What I realize now is I don't hate the person, I hate the evil in the person.

Now let me share a little with you about me and my experiences.  Before my big change as you would call it.  I had one foot in the gates of Heaven and the rest of me was engulfed in sin.  I dug myself into a hole I couldn't climb out.  Ever since I was little, I prayed almost every night.  I've always kept a personal relationship with God, even though I didn't know much about His word.  That never changed even as I grew up, but what did change was I was heavily caught up in a very destructive sin known as lust.  I know what you're thinking, "that's not acting like a Christian."  Well you're obviously right.  The thing is, you can't be all tangled up in that and follow our Christ.  Unfortunately I had to find out the hard way.  And here is something I never told anyone, but while I was caught up in that, I would pray every night and ask God to make me a stronger and more obedient Christian.  It took a while, but I believe He gave me many chances to change.  I never did change.  That's why He put me in my last relationship, I totally fell in love with her.  And He pulled a 180 on me.  I want to show you a quote I heard from a book I've been reading.... well listening to it on a CD.  It's from Rick Warren and it's called "A Purpose Driven Life."  I want to show you a quote I heard.  "You may have been passionate about God in the past, but you've lost that desire.  If you've just been going through the motions spiritually, don't be surprised when God allows pain in your life.  Pain is the fuel of passion.  It energies us with an intensity to change that we don't normally posses.  CS Lewis said, pain is God's megaphone.  Your problems are not punishment, they are wake up calls from a loving God."  You get the picture.

I just want you all to know, I'm not doing this for a popularity contest.  Although I think it would be awesome if more people starting reading these.  Much more will be wrote.  Just wait till I learn to express myself in person instead of on paper.  It will be real!