Bare Hands

Crime/Romance

Prologue:

“Have mercy on me. Please, please don’t do it” she shouted desperately. The agony in her voice felt like someone just grabbed a dagger and slaughtered his heart to pieces but he couldn’t let her go. Not after all she had done to him. She made him go crazy. Just as he pressed his lips forcefully against hers, he forgot what she was going through. He loved her, so much but she couldn’t understand. He loved her from the first day he saw her wearing that blue blouse that gave so much yet so little to its spectators. Any man that would have the blessing to touch her would be in heaven. The grey pencil skirt hugged her curves making her petite yet curvy physique look at its best. She wore heels that day, she never actually wore heels and he loved her even more when she wore them. They made her long legs look even skinnier and longer, but what struck him the most were her blue, deep eyes. They had a story behind them that he needed to know. He yearned to know what was about those broken yet stunning eyes. They complemented her pale skin and her black hair which obviously made them pop out even more.

“Please, what have I done to you?” she shouted even more this time. Her voice was filled with the same pain that was behind her eyes, the story that he wanted so deeply to know but obviously never will as he was about to kill her. Nobody could have her, she was his but not his to keep so he had to kill her or else he’d have to share her with somebody else. That was definitely out of the question. Katherine Black was his.

“You-are-mine” he hissed through clenched teeth and that made her scream out in fear even more. She knew what was about to happen to her. She would be killed by a man she’d never in her thirty years of life seen.

“You’re confusing me with somebody else. You have to. I have never seen you in my life” and that was the last sixteen words that ever came out of Katherine’s mouth. His expression changed from angry to lethal. She didn’t know him, but how could it be. He sent flowers to her office every day, he bought her drinks when she was out celebrating some case with her fellow workmates, he sent her roses last valentine’s day as she was single. He even served her food on her twenty-fifth birthday. How could it be that she didn’t recognize him?

“I-love-you-so-much-you-hurt-me” he finally said with tears strolling down his face as he strengthened his grip on her throat. He lost himself again until the silence broke off his anger. He wasn’t hearing the agony anymore. That was when he finally realized that he just lost the love of his life and he killed her with his bare hands.

One

The sun shone through the window sill and was burning his skin gently. That made him stretch in bed and open his eyes to find another day was about to begin, another day catching the bad guys. He blinked and turned his attention to the alarm clock on the right hand bed side table. He was stunned as he realized that for once he managed to awake before the alarm went off. A shiver went up and down his spinal cord as he realized that the last time he actually woke up before the alarm clock was when his mother finally died. It felt like he was anticipating something bad to happen. He hated the gut feeling that another bad thing was bound to happen really soon, he felt and that made his stomach jolt.

He forced himself out of the comfort of his bed that felt like it was cuddling him, gently caressing his fair skin and eventually made it to his en-suite. He showered quickly and put on his jogging suit. He made his way through the corridor down the stairs marching and gently dragging his feet one step at a time as he was not fully awake. He made it to the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee to keep him hydrated during his early morning jog. Something he hadn’t done since that day however it felt ideal as he had nothing to do other than annoyingly waiting for the time that was bound to be on duty.

He opened the front door and the sun stung like a bee on his eyes. He blinked twice and managed to make it out of the drive in onto the street. He wasn’t feeling like usual though, the strong, annoying, bad feeling was still there, pounding in the back of his head. He set his iPod to the usual Coldplay, The XX and Radiohead playlist and started running. He ran from his block to the park and back for two times and eventually made his way back home. He made it back to what  he called crib just in time as the alarm clock was about to go off and he felt a sense of pride as he managed to even go for a jog before he was supposed to wake up. He quickly showered again and patiently waited for his partner to pound with an uninterrupted pace on his door, almost make it go down, only that she didn’t that day.

At sharply 7:03am he turned on the TV as John didn’t want to call her and annoy her because she always ended up pulling up a fight with him for being a tight a*s and being always on time everywhere he went. The fact was that John was head over heels in love with her and she didn’t even realize however he’d much rather have her as his partner than never have to see her again. He still couldn’t do anything about the partner relationship policy that went against everything that he ever worked for. The system: that was what he mainly worked for. The ring of his telephone broke of his thoughts and brought him back to reality which mainly was that he was never going to have a house and call his partner his wife.

“Bayle” he answered with his work related, authoritarian voice. He was eager to hear her voice, she’d probably called to let him know that she was going to be late as usual but the voice on the other side of the line sounded nothing like hers. To start with, it was a man. It was ‘the man’ actually who never called him home but only on his cellular phone. “Bayle, I need to speak to you as soon as you can. Please leave home now and come down to the station. We need to have a chat” Obviously John was not used to talking to his boss unless it was a very serious life or death matter so he decided to call her and let her know that he’d meet her at a later stage during the day, however the phone went to voicemail. He started wondering whether something wrong had happened to her so he unwillingly left her a voice message and passed by her house on the way to the station only to find her car parked in her drive way and the lights on. Bayle made a quick decision to continue downtown maybe she’ll join him later or she was having ‘one of those days’ and will not join him at all.

He continued downtown and couldn’t believe that the only day that he was in a hurry was practically the only day which the streets were filled with an uncountable amount of cars and traffic. His was losing his temper quickly and he didn’t like when he lost his temper, not at all.

John was a kind man, the type of man that would prefer giving his last meal at the end of the world to someone he doesn’t even know rather than dying with regret. He loved his job as he loved helping people. He had always been that way since his early days when he would give his food and lunch money to his sister just because she didn’t afford to live a life like her friends conducted. He went above and beyond to see the radiant smile on her face. Apart from his affectionate personality, he was model-material handsome. John was well built complementing his sculpted face. He had alluring blue eyes which could speak before he even opened his mouth as well as honey coloured skin and black shaved hair. He had that attractive look that every woman practically fell for but he couldn’t find the right one. No one could be compared to her.

He finally made it to the front door of the station and pulled the doors open. Something about the aura of the place was different. It seemed as if suddenly he was an alien to all his work mates. Everyone was staring impatiently at him, as if they were waiting for him to act in a different way than usual. A hundred pathetic but at the same time sympathetic smiles down the hall, he made it to his boss, Kirsten James’ office. He stopped at the door as he was on the phone and sounded bizarrely upset. He waved him to enter the office and so he unwillingly did.

“What the hell is wrong with everyone? It looks like they all got a giant stuck his finger up their asses” said John immediately as he saw Kirsten put his phone down. He chuckled to his own joke, something that he did normally. “Sit down” said his boss, sounding even bossier than usual. “Looks like you got on-“said John while he was being interrupted by his boss. “It’s Katherine, John” and that was technically when his world fell apart. The colour drained from his face as he was trying to process what he just heard and finally everything starting falling into place. The fact that she wasn’t there, the fact that his boss called him at seven in the morning, the fact that everyone was looking at him waiting for him to act out and even the fact that he was stupid enough not to ask her out on dinner the night before. Nothing would have probably happened if he wasn't such a stupid and annoying coward who was afraid to lose someone that didn't even feel the same way.

“John? Say something. Do you need a glass of water or can we proceed to the whole story?” but John didn't respond. He was locked in his own head, prisoner of his own mind. The thoughts unruffled and he could feel small amounts of salt water gathering at the corner of his eye as he blinked and let them gently trickle a path don his cheek leaving a mark. He looked down, not being able to move or to look at his boss which didn't feel like a boss anymore. He couldn't work without her; she was his stone, his best friend and his partner. He finally realized that he needed to know what happened to her.

Clearing his throat, he finally managed to mumble a simple ‘what’. His voice was hoarse and sounded nothing like him, but more like someone who is going through hell. He felt broken, disarmed and definitely in no position to work and won’t be for a reasonable amount of time.

“An old lady was walking her dog by the lake early this morning as she couldn't sleep and heard a sound of something being dropped in the water. At first she couldn't find anything until she realized that she was walking on a path of blood and panic rose through her. She made her way to hidden dumped body of a young woman which appeared to being strangled to death. She called the police and we eventually made it to the crime scene. The young lady was taken to the morgue even though we immediately recognized her. It was Katherine. I couldn't do anything except tell Karen at the morgue to run an autopsy first thing in the morning and that’s what she did. Cause of death resulted to strangling. She was choked to death John, but that was not all. There were traces of ejaculation showing that the son of b***h who killed her raped her before doing so. There were signs of struggle all over her body so I say she didn’t go down without a fight. My condolences John, I’m so sorry. I know how close you two were. If you need some time off you are off duty as of today however I suggest that before you come back you visit our psychologist. I’ve been through death of a partner and believe me, you’re going to need some professional help at a certain point in time, whether you like it or not, so I’m going to make it mandatory for you to visit the psychiatrist, and after you do you can most definitely have your badge and weapon back. Until then you can hand them over.”

That was simply too much to process in a whole soliloquy as it is what his boss just sounded like. He talked about her as if she was some drug addict whom he absolutely didn’t know and cared about. Difference is he did care about her. He loved her and now she was gone. Rape, kill and Katherine in a whole sentence made absolutely no sense to him. He needed to go by her house, ring her bell and hug her because he went through a rough day but he simply couldn’t. At that point he knew that he was right, waking up before the alarm and the bad feeling he had all along. He quietly stood up, took out the badge from the inside pocket of his jacket and his gun and set them carefully on Kirsten’s desk. He eventually just turned his heels and walked out of the office only to find that the attention was not on him now but on the TV. It was the news. He dreaded the news and felt like he was just about to hate it even more. He pushed his way through his co-workers to listen to the story being run and it was about her. Everything was about the void that she left behind.

“…Young detective Katherine Black was found dead this morning by the lake. Her body was immediately taken to the morgue to find out more about this tragedy. She will most definitely be missed as she was one of this town’s heroes. We wish our condolences to her family, friends and fellow co-workers. Stay with us to hear the rest of the story…”

The only problem was that there was no one to talk with or about. She had no family; she only had friends, co-workers and John as her partner. Her parents died in a car accident when she was young while they were on their way to pick her up from her aunt’s house. Katherine blamed herself for so long for the death of her beloved family and as she was about to finally come out of it, to realize that nothing was her fault, she had to die. John was the one that was probably going to really and truly mourn her. No one knew what a beautiful soul she was but he promised himself that he would let everyone know what kind of woman she was as well as make the son of a b***h who took the love of his life away from him suffer for the pain that he put her through.

He turned and made his way out of the office, looking at absolutely nobody until he made it to his car and finally let his emotions get the best of him.

Two

  Turning the nob silently, John opened the front door to his house and forced himself to the kitchen as he heard some fidgeting.  He secretly wished that the noises were coming from the man or woman who took the best part of him away and that he’d also be dead in a few minutes. That would be good; he would let him or her take away the pain just as quickly as she was taken away from him. He was surprised to find his mother standing by the sink washing the dirty dishes which he let compile and realize that it only showed that he was working too much. He dragged a chair his way and obviously startled his mother.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry”, she said sounding as if she lost someone important herself. Well maybe she did lose someone important. She lost her non-biological daughter whom she loved like just as much as she would have loved her own blood since Katherine loved her like her own mother because hers died when she was little.

John and Katherine were that close. He let her meet his mother when they had their first official anniversary as partners. Jane, his mother, fell in love instantly with the beauty goddess that she’s met and knew that her son felt exactly the same. She was always trying to get them together as she obviously wanted her one and only son happy, but Katherine always avoided the subject. Jane was always curious why until one day they got together for coffee and her beloved Miss Black spilled all the beans.The fact that John didn’t know broke her heart, she should have told him. How could she possibly ever know that Katherine would die so young, too young?

Jane dropped to her knees and hugged John as if she was seeing him for the first time. He shook as she touched him and she feared for her boy. She was preoccupied that he’d never go back to his job and would not try to put his life back together. She knew that Katherine was what kept him going on. As she touched him, the memory of Katherine herself crying on her shoulders came to mind. She tried shaking it off but she couldn’t. She was feeling so guilty for keeping it a secret from her son. Suddenly it felt like it was just the day before when Katherine went to open her heart with her and not four months before.

She went four months back in her mind, she remembered the bell ringing and the fright that followed. She opened the door just to find Katherine in tears and her heart stopped. The first thing that came to her mind when she found Katherine like that was that her son had died. Katherine immediately realized what Jane was thinking and assured her that her son was very alive and breathing at the gym. She entered and Jane made a cup of tea for the both of them. She still could hear Katherine’s voice echo in her ears, “I love him Jane and I can’t tell him. Not now.” Tears of joy filled Jane’s eyes as she heard those words but the second part of the sentence didn’t quite make sense for her. “Why? What is holding you back sweetheart?” she asked curiously, not knowing whether she’d like to hear the answer of that question or not.

“Do you really want to know?” Katherine replied as if she was reading Jane’s mind. “We’ll see after I know why” Jane said without thinking and she was regretting it as she hugged her grown boy that will always be her little John. He didn’t know anything and that made her heart ache. What if she died because of the secrets that the both of them were not sharing with John? How was she supposed to help her son if she had to help herself first?

“It was about two or three years ago. I was walking back home when a guy came up to me and told me that I was being watched very closely and to be alert at all times. I laughed in his face instantly but then he said a few words that made me regret laughing in the first place. He mumbled something about a guy named Dean and repeated that I was in trouble. Eventually he said he knew everything about me. He even told me the date of my parent’s death. That made my stomach jolt and that’s mainly why I’ve been scared every day in my life. He told me that he befriended my stalker and just as he was going to describe Dean and tell me everything that he knew about him, a car was coming straight our way. I managed to escape but Dean’s friend didn’t. He was killed instantly.”

That was a little too much for Jane to handle all in one sentence. “So you’re being followed? Has he ever hurt you? Do you know him? Could you recognize him?”

Katherine continued her story after catching her break and taking a sip of her cold tea. “Jane believe me, I don’t know him. If I could recognize him I would have already put him behind bars, I am a detective remember? It has been two years now and I haven’t said a word to anybody apart from you. I’m telling you now because it is somehow getting serious. Before, it was only some random mysterious love letters in my mailbox and maybe a flower on my doorstep and I was actually flattered as well as scared but now things are changing, even the letters are changing. They are not love stories anymore” said Katherine as she took out a small folded paper out of her hand bag and handed it to Jane. “Read it”.

My love,

I can’t take it anymore now. I need you. I need to touch your lips and run my bare hands all over your body.  I lust you and I most certainly love you but I can’t take it anymore. John is in love with you how can’t you see it? He wants to take you away from me but he can’t because you are mine and even though you never saw me, I know you love me. Well actually you did see me on a couple of occasions but you don’t know that. Know that you’re always being watched because I love you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you and don’t worry, I’ll take care of John myself so he won’t annoy you anymore.

With love,

R.

She read it a couple of multiple times as she couldn’t believe what she was reading. She feared for both her angels. Somebody was trying to hurt them. “Can you understand now why nothing can happen? If this mysterious guy sees me with John, he will hurt him and I would never forgive myself. I already can’t forgive myself for losing my parents and I can’t have this. I’m going to wait until I catch him and then I can finally be with John. I lost someone I loved once, I won’t lose another one and that is a promise Jane” Those were the last words she exchanged sobbing with Jane. She lost a bit contact after that day for safety reasons.

“Mum?” she heard her son calling her as she shook herself back to reality. “What are you thinking?” asked John trying to make conversation to fill the void in the room. He felt as if there wasn’t enough air for the both of them. He would have asked his mother to leave but the truth was that he needed her by his side. He couldn’t talk to anyone so he desperately needed his hero.

It pained her so much that she couldn’t share her thoughts with her. The thoughts that took her miles away from where he is even though he was in front of her. Her son felt so close yet so far. How could she ever tell him that she kept this from him for four months? “Nothing” she mumbled as she burst to tears “I just miss her” she said with pain filling her voice as she lied. She decided she would tell all she knew to the detective in charge of Katherine’s homicide and wait until he felt better before telling him.

“What about work?” she asked purposely, trying to take her own mind off everything she knew. “I’m off duty until I decide to get out of the house and go the psychiatrist. Truth is he wasn’t ready to go out and let the chill air swallowing him again. He just wanted to suffocate in his own sadness at home. The sudden overwhelming feeling of pain struck again leaving him breathless. He couldn’t stop crying. He was desperate for her touch more than ever before. Life seemed so dull without her. She kept him going on, her smile kept him going on.

“You should go John. You’re going through a trauma and you need far more help than I can ever give you. She loved you more than you’ll ever know and she wouldn’t want to see you acting out or making stupid decision but there is no need for me to tell you this. You already know for yourself. You’re grieving. Don’t act out. Leave the cop work for the detective taking care of it than you can help them once you’re back at work.”

That was when he finally realized that he wouldn’t be there when they catch her murderer. He wasn’t going to be the one catching him and avenging his beloved Katherine. He didn’t like that but he knew that he would probably end up killing him and he most definitely couldn’t end up in prison. His mother wouldn’t be there to bail him out.

“We’ll see about that Ma” said John while anger filled his voice taking the sound of agony away from it.