In Your Eye

You gazed into my eyes,

and I saw my own reflection.

Her smile was uninhibited love.

Her eyes, guileless and trusting.

Her hands reminded you of little birds.

She ran laughing through the rain, 

as it soaked through her sun dress, unabashed.

You gazed lovingly into my eyes

and I gazed back,

trapped like Narcissus in the pool of your eye. 

Reviews

[Relic]

You describe someone who is totally in love, unashamed to show her joy or delight to someone who makes her heart blossom like a flower. With time, that reflection may disclose a transparent soul, brimming with a bouquet lining the edge of your heart.

100/100

[Melissa]

Thank you! I am glad to hear that she appears this way. Thanks for checking it out!

[angel]

Very beautiful, but a word of caution; remember what happened to Narcissus. He fell into sorrow at that pool in which he saw his beauty, and died of that sorrow, for he could not attain the desire of his eyes and heart. He should have forgotten his own beauty and gone with Echo.

[Melissa]

Yes, for me, this was not so much an endorsement, but an honest look at a moment in time. Thank you for the review!

[angel]

You're quite welcome.

[barleygirl]

I love the imagery you use in your poem, but I'm mixed up by pronouns. In lines 3 thru 7, not sure if the narrator is describing his/her own reflection in the other person's eyes . . . or if these lines are meant to be the narrator's impression of how her beloved appears to her. Becuz of your use of "narcissus" (misspelled) in the final line, I get the idea you mean this to be a narrator describing him/herself -- seeing oneself instead of seeing one's lover. This is a great concept & I'm not sure how to make it a little more clear on what you're saying!??!! Narcissist is a person in love with his/her own self. Narcissus is the white flower named as a symbol for such people. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Melissa]

Thank you for catching my misspelling! I was almost certain that I had made the mistake as I did it! I am referring to the myth related to the flowers name. I think that correction, will make it more clear! Thank you again!

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm quite visual in my imagining, and this sparks brilliant mental pictures throughout. You mention two of the things I'm always keen to observe, eyes and hands, and although I have no scientific proof, I believe they say important things about a person. On meeting a girl, (It's been eons) eye contact sometimes resulted in holding hands. Yeowee! the memory still is potent.

[Melissa]

I also believe that the eyes and hands can tell you a lot about a person. Thank you for the read :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

this is beautiful my first thought was of an older person looking back and seeing a younger self then another version i thought was a person who loves herself a lot (nothing wrong with that acceptance and love of oneselfl helps you love others) great poem love it

[Melissa]

I love this interpretation. I agree, nothing wrong with loving one's self. I appreciate your review!

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

when we hate ourselves or dont accept ourselves or are bitter to our own self we do the same to others. (like a punishment) i love your poem xx

[Simone Davis]

In this I see your complete admiration but their lack of loving when you say Nassacist.

[Melissa]

Thank you. My intention here was not really to create a true love poem. Thank you for the read.

[Neville]

Windows to the soul they say... I love eyes & spend a great deal of time looking out of mine & into other peoples...
'Her hands reminded you of little birds' is a beautiful line and almost brought tears to mine.... super.. Neville

[Melissa]

Thank you! I was worried the little birds bit might be a little strange, so I'm glad to hear you liked it!

[Neville]

there was a reason you added the little birds.. and yes, I did like it... N

[wordman]

caught up in love,brought on by a gaze

[Melissa]

Thank you!

[wordman]

you`re welcome