Ch 3 Too Soon

In my life, i had never really been touched by a guy. Yes, i have had my fair share of little hand grabs, but nothing for more than 5 minutes. So when Micah grabbed my hand to lead me out of the room and didn't let go of it until about 20 minutes later, i started to get a little anxious. I had all of those typical questions that teenage girls think about when an attractive guy was touching them, you know like why is his hand so strong, and are my palms sweating to much, and am i talking to much? But, the thing is, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Every time we would walk into a new room he would squeeze my hand a little to make sure i was paying attention to only him, and talk about everything in the room as if it was his own.

The more i looked at him, and hung out with him the more i grew to be even more attracted to him, if that was even possible. Yes, the initial attraction was still there, but when you got closer you saw all of these little details about him that someone wouldn't have noticed if they were standing a few feet from him. His eyes were actually a grey, with blue in them. He had freckles that went across his face under his eyes and over his nose, which was perfect since my whole body was practically covered in the little b*****s. His hair was actually longer than i thought, he had just jelled it back for tonight.

I finally let go of his hand and walked over to two doors that looked as if they were made for giants because i was just attracted to the wood work, yes  i am a weirdo. Micah then walked over and pushed open the doors to reveal a huge grey colored room, that had about five dressers, two desks, a flat screen TV, and then a humongous bed.

"And this is one of the master bedrooms." He looked at me and winked. "This is my personal favorite room of the house."

"Oh, i wonder why." I replied sarcastically.

"Oh, you know just the huge king size waterbed." He said, and before i could figure out what was actually going on, he somehow flung me onto the bed and flopped down next to me. "and the view from the bed." He pointed up where the ceiling would have been if the owners hadn't cut it out and replaced it with a huge glass window which revealed a perfect view of the star filled night sky.

"This is amazing." I said breathlessly. Then a thought hit me. "Wait how often do you come over and lay on these peoples bed?" I asked confused.

"Well the guy that you met downstairs, Liam, yeah he lives here. And we have been friends since like second grade. So when we were younger we would always come in here and watch the stars."

"Really? Liam is a Robertson? Would have never guessed." I replied very astonished. 

We honestly laid on the Robertson bed for about three hours, at the least, just talking about everything. Our subjects ranged from school work, to our favorite foods. It is very weird when you meet someone and you have to keep thinking about whether or not this person is reading your mind. The only difference between us is the fact that Micah was a sports junkie, and the only sport i have played was volleyball, and that was only freshman year because my mom practically forced me. 

"Okay, so what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?" He asked me. 

"Well isn't that moving very fast." I replied. I immediately thought about a million stories that i could tell him. "I mean, why don't we talk more about movies, and typical first time topics for people hanging out?"

"I want to know more about you kenzie, you are just... just perfect it seems. I mean how often can i find a girl in Florida that eats just as much as i do, likes the same music and movies, and has no filter just like me. Just come on. tell the most screwed up thing that has happened. It will mean that you are actually opening up to me, which is what friends do, and we a definitely friends." He replied to me. I just stared at him for a few second. Am i really about to open up to this guy that i just met? Why the hell not i guess.

"Oh jeez, well you understand i don't look like this everyday right?" He just stared at me for a minute and then whispered "You would look just as beautiful without all of the crap that you have on your face, and that dress." And then motioned for me to continue with my story.

For some reason i felt like i could really open up with him now, so i decided to tell him the story about how i became as self conscious, and screwed up as i am today. 

"One day me and one of my old friends were walking into the movie theater to go see the new spider man movie. I had put on one of my best outfits and did my hair and makeup. I thought i actually looked pretty. So we were walking into the theater and got seats right in the middle of the top row. A few minutes later, two guys around the same age as us came up and started talking to us. They stayed talking to us for the rest of the night. Around 9, we were all walking over to where Tabitha's mom was going to pick us up. As we walked around the corner we saw a huge group of teens just standing there as if they were waiting for us. The two guys that were with us ran up, and joined the group. My friend and i just kept walking past them, but then two girls walked in front of me and just started saying the most horrible things. They were pushing me back until i was pressed up against a wall." At this point i hadn't realized that i was crying. Of course, i am not even on a date with this guy, and i am already crying in front of him.

 "Kenzie, you don't have to keep going if you don't want to. i didn't realize that you have been through this stuff." Micah said while rubbing up and down my arm.

"No, i need to get this out, i haven't told anyone about this ever, and i don't know why i am telling you, but its happening." I said forcefully. Micah just kept rubbing my arm which was actually really soothing.

"They just kept telling me about how ugly i was, and how fat i was, and how i would never be able to get a boyfriend, and that i might as well kill myself right now so no one has to look at me anymore. So later that night, after I was dropped off at my house, i walked straight into my room, grabbed a razor blade and just...." I stood up and walked over to the side of the bed where Micah was now sitting up. "Don't get excited i just need to show you something.." I said.

I then lifted up my dress so that the side of my hip, which was covered by my underwear, was right next to him. I am literally so happy that i had decided to wear Victoria Secret underwear  instead of my typical granny panties. I studied Micah's face as i lifted the side of the underwear to reveal 5 rows of deep razor blade cuts on the side of my hip.

"Oh my god, Kenzie, I am so sorry." He said, and then he reached out and touched them. This touch sent shock waves through my body. It wasn't even as if he was trying to seduce me or anything, it seemed caring, and worried. "Please tell me you don't do this anymore." I shook my head because i couldn't get any words out. "I would never hurt you like that." He was then hovering over me. As he staring deeply into my eyes he reached his hands up and held my face. I swear on my life he was going to kiss me, and i started to lean in, but instead he just grabbed my waist and brought me into a hug that felt so safe, and comfortable that i wish i could have stayed there for the rest of my life, and didn't even care that i did not get my first kiss that night.