Now that’s a Shame

~~~
Tis a gladness found in sadness
mostly pleasure
wince of pain
From an odor round the barroom
none the boys could e'er explain
Like a billowed line of washin'
after gentle fallen rain
Tis the wail of spring befallin'
on a barfly
oh ... the shame
~
Lo
there's homework
I'm the tender
to a list of things that broke
Ere the boss be sharing surely
words no poet ever spoke
Lazy good for nothing boozer
paint the fence and fix the gate
You want a pint ... you must be kidding
Plow the forty ... 'fore it's late
~
Down the misty path of memories
thoughts of Kelsey's brew appears
In a vision almost godly
round a table rests my peers
And no memory tarries longer
forceful
clearer
sweeter
stronger
than ol' Kelsey pouring liquor at the bar
I sheds a tear
~
Summer sadness tans bare shoulders
to replace the winter's shun
And the kids each day
they greet me ... Morning Dad
YOUR IT ... then run
Lord
I never knew that Heaven
'twas the place beyond my wall
Till I heard my children laugh
while toasting mallows in the fall
~
Though breath of Heaven
washed the aftertaste
of Kelsey's from my life
And forever I'll be holding ... dear
new memories
with my wife
I am angered at the sign
that hangs atop ol' Kelsey's door
. . . NO BARFLIES . . .
. . . CASH RESPECTED . . .
~
Sure
His wife now runs the bar
~~~

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Now that's a shame'
McEltic,
Your story is one of hope and the beauty of change. This is a picture of past shadows as a backdrop for present day sunshine and color. Your have shown the holding close of things your very own and the acceptance and honest seeing of those which you do not accept. Lovely writing.
Blessings,
kathy

[Cherrie]

stellar wit, impromptu writings are always the best.

[SpokenPoemLover]

McEltic, being despairingly ignorant of how the Review system works here, I am, at the very least, returning the kindness of your review by reading a poetic piece of yours. This is the one chosen. And I confess to a certain weakness for rhyme. Your rhyming skill here is most gratifying. I imagine hearing it's lyricism rolling off the tongue in a rather Scottish sounding lilt. A very enjoyable poetic brew indeed.

[McEltic]

Thank you... glad you enjoyed it. You’re correct, it was written a bit of an accent.

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

In opposites we find much understanding and logic unexplained, well written gets the mind moving🌹

[McEltic]

I think you might be right... thank you :)

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure🌹

[emipoemi]

........I never seem to give any critique with your poems, for they're all brilliant! This one in particular for's well crafted and the story is witty and fun. It's like R.W. Service and Ernest Lawrence Thayer collaborated on a poem. I so enjoyed this!

I must make the small note regarding musicality in the last two stanzas. Your flow gets a little weird and confusing amid the line breaks (for the beginning of the what's supposed to be the next line of the rhythm/musicality begins before it its turn to speak). And the beginning of the last stanza has a bit of wonky flow given "aftertaste" is too syllabic a word to fit the entire flow (so it doesn't dance too well).

Other than those two aspects....this is genius! Poetry in motion! Well done!

[McEltic]

I think it may fit together a little better if you add a little Irish flavour and speak it aloud :)

[emipoemi]

perhaps.....but I'm not quite Irish enough to know what that flavour "tastes" like, I'm more speaking in a poetical sense: it starts off well, and then if you read it as it is, there is a couple of bumps towards the end. But I'll take your word for it, sir. Perhaps all I need to do is hear it recited.

[McEltic]

When i wrote it the flow changed at the last verse because it speaks narratively in retrospect. Not really meant to follow the flow.