Rusted Smile

Hearts in memory drawn before us
haste display their vesting style
Daydreams shed and plead...
restore us
dancing o'er a rusted smile
~
Chancing fancies
may discover
heart-light cast
where sins may dwell
Shadow-darkened skies
recover
the isolation sought to quell
~
Sifting through those haunting traces
ringing round a fading light
Who might stop
and trade us faces
invest a smile
to warm the night
~
To the wise
that rise above us
bend an ear to wishing well
See the dancers
push and shove us
to the brink of living hell
~~~

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"Rusted Smile"
McEltic,
Memory and the daydream and the reality;
Inner reality seeks to assimilate, process life'
s lessons and experiences into something viable
and healthy somehow. This poem reminded of the
coalescing of time in the sacred inner part of the
human heart which is so tender and can damage and
be shattered and broken. We change everyday and regroup
and try to find true home. This line said a great deal:
"Sifting through those haunting traces
'ringing round a fading light
Who might stop
and trade us faces'invest a smile
to warm the night"
Blessings,
Kathy

[barleygirl]

I'm not sure about the exact extended story your words paint, but I mostly just enjoy the word painting in and of itself. I love the way you use rhyme & rhythm carelessly, not so much in a structured way. I love the way you use internal rhymes & other sound play with your words. Most of all, I prefer original writing & yours is uniquely all your own! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[McEltic]

Thank you Margie... I don’t use any formal style when writing. Just what comes out and i smooth it a bit so it reads well out loud.

[emipoemi]

ok! Have you been writing long? Or has your talent been merely latent? for this unbelievable! The rhymes are golden, the musicality divine, and the narrative/message really packs a good punch! Well freaking done!

[McEltic]

Well, i first started writing in 1978 after the breakup with my first wife. I sort of got used to putting pen to paper after that started writing jokes in rhyme and meter. After that novelty wore off I got a little more serious and joined some forums in the late 90s and have been writing on and off ever since. Still enjoy rhyming but I enjoy free verse as well... thanks for the wonderful reviews