Birthday Cake

A random thought that came over me one evening in December after eating my birthday cake...

Too many layers in this cake,

sticky icing droops to hide the strawberry-sadness inside it all.

Candles flicker with their knowing glare,

telling me to fake a smile and go another year.

At once I blow out the flames with a mere breath,

the sneering candles are powerless again, a sweet death.

Reviews

[Merenwen99]

Hmmm, interesting sentiment. I like the change of thought from when the reader sees the title "Birthday Cake" which connotes all sorts of happy thoughts and memories, to when they are finished reading the poem and are left with somewhat of a reflective, sad feeling. You do a good job of conveying emotion, and the poem flows generally well.

You used "glare" (or a form of it) twice, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you may want to consider a synonym. (Of course, that is just my personal opinion.)

Also, you should capitalize the first letter in every line.

This was a good read. I enjoyed it.