School ruined me

A story I wrote.

I walked up to the school building, a place I once loved as a child, a place to make friends and be away from my parents, A place where I could be me. Well, fast forward to middle school. I sat in the class staring out the window or any place I could stare, so I could get lost in my thoughts, I would sit and wonder or talk to my friends and risk getting in trouble with the teacher because I was talking during the lesson. By the time 7th grade had come around I realized how naive I was for thinking I loved school, I only liked it because it was a way for me to get out of the house and attempt to socialize even though most people didn't like me. I realized that school was too much for me when I started staying up super late to finish class work, and other assignments, the work wouldn’t stop piling up, at one point I completely quit trying because I had lost myself, I completely forgot what it was like to have free time, it's the curse of being an Honors student, you get so much work, that you don’t even have time for yourself. You stay up late working and studying, sometimes you sleep, sometimes you don't. You try to be your absolute best, the top student, but as soon as grades go in you drop to the bottom of the class. At the end of the day, you realize that no matter how hard you try, honors classes will always beat you.  By the time Freshman year of high school came around I was excited, it was fun, and the work didn’t pile up too much, so I started having fun and trying to figure myself out. I thought maybe high school is different, maybe I won't have to be piled in work again, well then came Sophomore year, as soon as it started, I knew I was going to be in over my head. So many new rules, so many changes, and losing friends because of our friendships ending. I stand here now thinking, I’ve never been more lost than I do right now. I realize that schoolwork is piling, and even when I’m out sick and do assignments that stupid number that's known as a grade doesn’t move. I’ve realized i’ve become so worried about a stupid number in a grade book that won’t matter ten years from now, that I keep losing myself because my entire world is filled with school.