Humanity Is At It's Finest.

When did single become a death sentence?

Who would've thought a heart could be so sharp?

Time was ticking,

and you were counting down.

Licking w****s.

Making your way around.

In the depths of desire,

emotions set on fire.

The world shifted.

Your heart changed.

Sanity danced,

on the brink of insane.

Darkness closed in.

By the light we were shunned.

What once was a game,

no longer was fun.

I held it.

But you fired the gun.

Beautiful blood poured from my head.

You didn't kiss me good night,

when you put me on my death bed.

"forever.."

You LIED.

This shadow of murder

is called suicide.

Reviews

[Devons]

This is like 'the last post' in the battle between monogamy and polygamy. It seems to me to show the transition from youth to maturity, naivete to experience..
"What once was a game,
no longer was fun.
I held it.
But you fired the gun."
..Subtle and forceful lines, which reflect the concept of playing and over-stepping the mark. To the point where it hurts. And then the difference is learned. But if the game is big enough, the realisation of its danger is a lesson which is learned too late, and can end fatally - metaphorical or otherwise.
There is a bitter brutality in the words and imagery of this poem that has a profound effect. And the conclusion is dramatic in this way..
""forever.."
You LIED.
This shadow of murder
is called suicide."
These last two lines are proverbial. We do it to ourselves...with the help of others..
Powerful piece of work.

[Abdul Aziz]

Again, you recede deep into yourself to bring out gut wrenching words. Of anger, of betrayal, and sadness. There is a brooding darkness that pervades all your poems. The way you shape that into words, into different settings in every poem of yours, is very creative.
I like this write very much.

[Ruth]

Excellent structure love! Have to say, this is one of your best! :)
Awesome work, a heart can be calculating and you have portrayed that with a bam! lol
Great poem
xx

[Haifa]

Really strong and powerful poem really its. WELL DONE !

[manchilld99]

"This shadow of murder
is called suicide."

If no one is there, then nobody knows. How often does this happen? Your poem is believable enough for us to know that it does. Especially among young people, how much mayhem is commuted under the guise of pranks and 'games?'

Good poem.

[Dave M. Pitman]

beautiful, i can feel the pain in this.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

sharp is the shattered heart~ the composition is flawless~ the pure rage propelled by distress perfectly balanced without it taking over the poem~ here is a window to deep human damage~ this is very well constructed in meter and rhyme~

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

Beautiful. The ending was awesome.
'This shadow of a murder
is called suicide'
great! I like it.

[Elwina]

I love the progression in this poem.
I can really see the darkness closing in, line after line.

[Dream Weaver]

Powerful and very visual in terms of imagery.
Tough subject to tackle...Nicely Done.

[Hellslastwarrior]

Hey Mayhem I enjoyed this poem, Very nice presentation I didnt think those couple of words needed the underline but good call on the captials for them. Really brought out the depth of anger and other emotions you weaved within these words.
This shadow of murder
is called suicide
Good last lines, you gave the read something to ponder and think about even if they do it sub-consiously that memory will always follow them when they think of a word in that sentence.
I can tell alot of thought went into this poem I would like to see more writing you've got talent it's time to show it my dear friend.
Theodore