Humanity Is At It's Finest.

When did single become a death sentence?

Who would've thought a heart could be so sharp?

Time was ticking,

and you were counting down.

Licking w****s.

Making your way around.

In the depths of desire,

emotions set on fire.

The world shifted.

Your heart changed.

Sanity danced,

on the brink of insane.

Darkness closed in.

By the light we were shunned.

What once was a game,

no longer was fun.

I held it.

But you fired the gun.

Beautiful blood poured from my head.

You didn't kiss me good night,

when you put me on my death bed.

"forever.."

You LIED.

This shadow of murder

is called suicide.

Reviews

[Devons]

This is like 'the last post' in the battle between monogamy and polygamy. It seems to me to show the transition from youth to maturity, naivete to experience..
"What once was a game,
no longer was fun.
I held it.
But you fired the gun."
..Subtle and forceful lines, which reflect the concept of playing and over-stepping the mark. To the point where it hurts. And then the difference is learned. But if the game is big enough, the realisation of its danger is a lesson which is learned too late, and can end fatally - metaphorical or otherwise.
There is a bitter brutality in the words and imagery of this poem that has a profound effect. And the conclusion is dramatic in this way..
""forever.."
You LIED.
This shadow of murder
is called suicide."
These last two lines are proverbial. We do it to ourselves...with the help of others..
Powerful piece of work.

[snapjack]

Very tragic and deep. Your poems are very well written.

[Mauricio Montoya]

alittle to heavy for me. a sad part of life.

[R E Tree]

Every line so meaningful, true and inspiring. A lot of people can relate to this it's a surprising way to end a relationship. Especially if the relationship isn't working very well it deserves a smart and thoughtful ending. I can also sense revenge in this as some lines challenge the reader trying not to make them overcome the guilt. The lines "Beautiful blood poured from my head. You didn't kiss me good night," would have made a lot people feel sorry for you. Overall I think the poem is powerful and means a lot to most people

[Dupree]

This is a rather interesting write. Personally I find truth in most of this. If your other works are as good as this then I look forward to reading more

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

Oh wow this is truly amazing. I love it and I'm so glad that you requested it for me to read! Love it!!

[Joseph - Michael]

Nicely done on expressing on the prose poem that was based on being hurt (or watched other get hurt?) and get all numbed from inside and out where your mind get confused and shut out the unbearable pain...

Death is still part of an art of humanity, whether people want to know the truth and understand or not...

Overall, very short and quick at straight to the point at the ending...

[Taylor H.]

This was a demented poem. I liked it. It had raw emotions and it really stuck with you. The second stanza freaked me out but that's ok, that was the point, I hope. Great job.

[Dakota]

This is strong.

[Kes]

As if the picture isn't terrible enough on its own! No, no; I don't mean bad, like rubbish, but terrible like horrific; haunting. Beautiful.
I love the last part...
"This shadow of murder
Is called suicide."
It's so true and so powerful! It's great and terrifying all at once. Great write.
I love your poems. I love them for the passion and anger the summon up, you know? I love angry things - i love hate. A strange, sadistic addiction, i know, but i can't help it. Negative emotions are a hundred times as strong as any positive emotion. Maybe that's just me...
Anyway, I love this poem and i can't wait to see what you come up with next!

[Patricia(:]

THIS WAS AMAZING! So much STRONG emotion! Powerful! Really speaks to everyone! Also very true. Once again, amazing!