Shredding Skin

The lonely tongue hissed

It was another ugly day,

He sat shredding skin.

Reviews

[hardeep sabharwal]

Shredding skin,, it can be taken in multiple ways, very interesting read mayank :)

[Ruth]

Fascinating! Out with the old and in with the new...awesome piece! xo

[Mayank]

Thanks Poppy for the review!

[Rene Salinas]

Every day we seem suprised by the fact that changes do not comply with what we want. We come dissillusioned even, shakes our heads thinking: Why don't things go my way? Our physicality is related to that which we need not realted to that we think we want. It is a rude awakening when you find out the image of yourself never rreally existed and under that pretense sat the common man with nothing else but his fantasies and the non - acceptance of the reality that surrounds him.

On a positive note yet again the old flakes as the possibility for a new skin comes about.


So much contained in such a view.


Thank You.

[Mayank]

Thanks Rene for such a nice review!!

[Nusquam Esse]

What a thoroughly serpentine senryu you managed here (yea for alteration). As much as I can see how this can be interpreted as a metaphor, I actually prefer the literal imagery. I have this image of a snake (like one you might see in folklore) making his way out of his burrow in the morning, and hissing out his contempt for the 'ugly day', claiming he is better alone... preoccupying himself to both shedding, shredding, and splitting his old skin. I like April's addition to it as well, the hope that something new can come out of the new skin--although who knows, snakes tend to keep a cycle of shedding throughout their lives, so let's hope that the metaphor is not taken too literally.

[Mayank]

Thanks for the review Nusquam, you are very much right here. I had almost same thoughts while writing this poem.

[Avinash]

It sounds like a day in the life of a deadly snake. Interpretation can go in any way depending upon the perspective.

[Mayank]

Yeah, it is... how things changes daily and what we must leave behind.

[AprilRN1210]

shredding was an interesting word choice here for me... loneliness can be painful making the days ugly... not a good feeling.. hopefully underneath that pain is a fresh new start, and happiness:)

[Mayank]

thanks for the review!

[Fatima]

I liked it, short but touching.

[Mayank]

Thank you Fatima

[Meraki]

Out with the old and in with the new.

[Mayank]

yeah! you can say that.

[Fran Marie]

Always good to shed the old and get on with the new self..well done

[Mayank]

thank you so much Fran for the interview.

[Latifa]

beautiful write, is it senryu

[Mayank]

Not really, just wrote this randomly.