Dawn In A Hole

I don't even remember when I wrote this, probably I was too drunk then.

Infested like bug around my neck,

Consumed thoughts, battered and wrecked.

Take me two steps ahead,

My hope is dead, my spirit is beheaded

While the wild winds shudder my soul,

I look for you, a dawn in a hole.

This little insect running inside of me,

Feeding my mind, obsessed with insanity

Mirrored black, tattooed me

Ruthless, my own reflection doesn't speak to me!

Not god, not devil, somewhere in between

In blue and red dim light, ever growing

Shivering in the shroud, hide my soul

From the dawn, shine in the holes…  

Reviews

[S]

A poet's best work is often created under liquor influence, that I can see in this poem of yours. Nicely written :)

[Mayank]

Yeah! They are like influence. Thank you for reading...

[Gurleen Saluja]

Awesome. A write with a good flow. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Mayank]

thanks gurleen for the review!

[Mitali Shah]

good one Mayank.... :) hw did u manage to figure out sumthng like dis when wer u drunk :P

[Mayank]

This is what actually happens when you are completely slosh and alone.

[Roshan Nair]

Great write man, I cant imagine writing a poem when Im drunk, especially something of this quality :P Its sort of disturbing and dark imagery is very alluring and keeps drawing you in as you keep going. excellent work. cheers

[Mayank]

Most of the time we drink when we have company. When you drink alone, you feel creepy and this is what happen. Thank you for reviewing it.

[Lotus Flower]

Wow. I find myself speechless with the intensity of this write. " Not God, not Devil, somewhere inbetween in blue and red dim light ever growing shivering in the shroud hide my soul" Is my favorite line its so beautiful! Great job.

[Mayank]

thank you so much!

[Pryde Foltz]

Feeding my mind, obsessed with insanity
Mirrored black, tattooed me
Ruthless, my own reflection doesn't speak to me!

Drunk, you say? It has the beauty of pure expression and the craft of a mind in possession of its wits. So maybe just tipsy.

[Mayank]

hahha! it is... just me with myself.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are a amazing writer. Your poetry alive and described with skill. I like the realistic feel of the emotion and the thoughts.
"Not god, not devil, somewhere in between
In blue and red dim light, ever growing
Shivering in the shroud, hide my soul
From the dawn, shine in the holes…"
The above lines. I liked a lot. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mayank]

My pleasure Coyote, glad that you liked it.

[xDalliance]

Um, wow. That's something very... moving. I mean, wow. There are no words I have. It's amazing.

[Mayank]

Thank you Jharna, glad you liked it.

[Avanthika]

very well writtn................

[Mayank]

thanks!

[hardeep sabharwal]

I can connect myself to this poem,
I can understand and feel all this written well

you said u wrote it when u were drunk though I dont drink but if it is the results of drinks I would like to drink :P

[Mayank]

I do lot of other stuff too, but I don't advocate them..