Fallacies, Book 1

Frightened by the sudden changes within the country, Natalie Matthews decides to become a part of the governing system to change it from within... Chapter 4

4

-

My bedroom feels pretty much the same as most everything is still here, comforting and warm like it always is. Having packed my pajamas away, I have to just take off my dress, but it feels fine since I know that no one would dare come in here. Falling asleep is easy, but the dreams I have make me feel like I never sleep. Once I wake up to the sunrays beaming down through my window onto my eyes, I feel too droggy to focus on what today has in store for me. I put my dress from yesterday back on and go downstairs to rummage through the neatly folded clothes in my bags in search of an outfit. The moment my feet hit the ground of the entrance hall, a tall, muscular figure walks from the living room to greet me. It’s Sean, who I forgot had slept here last night.

“Morning,” I say, feeling a little embarrassed with my hair messed up when I’m still wearing yesterday’s dress.

“Morning,” he replies, his hair ruffled just as bad, like he just got out of bed too. “How’d you sleep?”

“Decent.” I unzip my gym bag in search of a shirt and pants, which isn’t easy when both are separated in piles layered on top of each other. “How about you?”

“Good.” He stands there for a minute, quietly looking over the house. “Are you ready for today?”

“I’m not ready to let my brain think that far ahead.” I finally reach that aha moment when my hands grab a pair of jeans and a bedazzled black t-shirt. I fish at the very bottom of it for a pair of socks and underwear, hiding them in my arm so he doesn’t see. “Were you ready?”

“Not at all. It was nerve-wracking.”

“That I can imagine,” I laugh a little, knowing that’s precisely where I’ll be in an hour or two. Glancing around, I notice that the house is silent for how late it looks in the day. “Is anyone up yet?”

“No. It’s only 7 am.”

“Oh. It feels a lot later. I guess I went out like a rock last night.”

“Me too. Although, it feels weird being in the city again.”

“That’s right. You haven’t lived in the city for two years now. How is it different?”

His eyes twinkle when he answers, “For starters, the place doesn’t feel like a fire drill with a sergeant screaming in your ear to get up.” He doesn’t look serious in his example at all and I wonder if he’s messing with me.

“But you’re that sergeant,” I say, pointing out the obvious.

He shrugs, giving nothing away. “True, but I still have to hear myself screaming every morning.”

I laugh sarcastically. “I can’t wait to experience that.”

“Oh, don’t worry. You will.”

That confirms he’s not serious. A sergeant wouldn’t come all the way up to my new room to yell at me, let alone all of the other recruits living in so many different apartments. With the conversation starting out so nice between us, I don’t see a problem with asking one semi-deep question. “Are you planning on visiting your parents while you’re in town?”

“Careful,” he says threateningly, but a smile plays on his face. “You think I can’t tell when you’re poking around for answers?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you could.” I zip my bag and stand up. “Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.”

With these words, I head up the stairs to take a shower.

“Oh and since you’re up,” I call back to him, planning to be in the shower for at least half-an-hour. “Feel free to grab whatever you want out of the fridge. My parents don’t tend to get up until 8 or 9, so we have a while to go.”

When I get out, I skip down the stairs to throw my dirty clothes in the laundry room and back over to Ryan’s bag to grab my boots. Between all of the shoes packed away, the laced mid-thigh boots fit the best with the outfit and will probably be the most handy for whatever I’ll have to deal with today. I walk into the living room, content with watching some news with breakfast. Sean is sitting quietly in yesterday’s spot on the couch, looking at the floor. He looks up when he hears me, his expression relieved. All I can think is that this situation is both frustrating and nerve-wracking, but I don’t really understand why it’s bothering him so much, let alone why he’s here to begin with.

“How does food sound now?” I ask him, noticing that he hasn’t grabbed anything for himself.

“Pretty good,” he answers, pushing himself up to his feet.

“OK. Then let’s go.” I lead him into the kitchen and pop open the fridge. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Anything. It’s your call.”

“OK,” I say, trying to come up with breakfast food that isn’t a repetition of dinner last night. “Do you even like breakfast food?”

He smiles. “Yeah. I do.”

“Awesome,” I reach over to the pantry to the left of the fridge and look through a bunch of cereals. Somebody put the sugary stuff on the top shelf, so I hop up on the counter to get a better look. “Let’s see… we have Blueberry and Raisins, Strawberry Oatmeal, Fruity Marshmallows.... Anything sound good so far?”

“Umm, let’s do the Marshmallows. Those are always a good bet.”

“Agreed.” Hopping down from the counter with a box, my next search is for milk and bowls. “Milk? Yes or No?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Pshh, it’s not like everyone likes cereal drenched in it.”

He raises his eyebrows at me. “Really? You’re one of those people?”

“Yes. I am. Now bowls; they are over in there if you want to grab a couple.” I point to a clear cabinet above the cutting board.

He opens it up and starts pulling them out. “I’m surprised that you don’t eat right out of the box.”

“I do, just not with company present.”

“So should I be worried about where your fingers have been before I eat?”

I laugh, grabbing the milk out and tearing the box open. “Fresh box. Nothing to worry about.”

“Hmm. I guess I got lucky.”

I smile, pouring a bunch of cereal into my bowl and going over to the couch. I grab the remote off of the glass table, flip on the TV, and turn to a news channel. The first story is on the Council addressing citizens at yesterday’s parade. Apparently, after I left, rioting started in outlying cities as people brandished their guns against peace officers, holding signs that crossed out the name Crestpoint, while others drew an arrow to it from the United States. They were kept inside of a line, prevented from crossing the rope, but tensions were growing high.

“I remember watching this a month ago,” I begin talking out loud. “Just the number of peace officers has doubled. Before, the rioters outnumbered them, but now they’re hardly a threat as much as a distraction to other stuff going on.”

“That’s not something you should worry about right now,” Sean says. “Like you just said, this is a distraction. Focus on the real goal.”

I look at him, surprised. “And what is the real goal?”

He stares at the TV for a while before turning back to me. “To see past the distractions.”

I set my cereal down on the table half-eaten. “This cryptology is getting to me! Why are you always giving me half-answers?”

He glares at me. “Do you really think that you can talk to me like this?”

“Yeah; when you’re rephrasing my question. If you don’t want to answer, just say so. You warned me yesterday that answers from others will just mislead me, but that’s exactly what you’re doing and it sucks.”

He just scoffs at me in disbelief. “We met yesterday. I’m trying to help you, not mislead you.”

“But then why won’t you be direct?”

“Because sometimes, being less direct helps the most.”

I shake my head and pick my cereal back up, changing to a channel playing cartoons. “I’m not even going to listen to you.”

“And why is that?” he asks.

I stay silent, keeping my eyes glued to the screen.

“Really?” he demands, clapping his hands against his upper thighs. “Nothing?”

“Nothing,” I reply without tearing my eyes off the TV.

As if right on cue, my brothers come in with my parents following suit. Before even saying good morning, they are in the kitchen.

“First thing in the morning and you’re watching a cat driving a mouse wild?” my mom jokes as she comes back in.

“You have no idea,” I mutter under my breath, catching Sean’s attention.

“How did you sleep?” she continues, looking between us.

“Good,” he answers quietly.

“Same,” I say, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.

“Well, good,” she answers, appearing confused by the tension between us. “You guys already got breakfast, I see?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “I’m good to finish packing, actually.”

“Oh. Well, alright.”

I walk out of the living room with my cereal back on the table.

“Will you please excuse me?” Sean says right as I’m stepping into the hall.

Rather than heading upstairs to start on my bathroom, I feel like I need to breathe outside. The cold air feels amazing against my skin with my hair flowing through the wind as if it’s a comb refreshing my head. I let the door close behind me and take a seat on a step halfway down the staircase, leaning against the railing. A soft click sounds above me and I catch Sean sneaking out of the door to come sit beside me.

“What’s up?” he asks after a moment.

“Not much,” I answer a little tersely. “Just needed a break.”

“I don’t mean that. What is going on with you?”

I hesitate, not sure of how to answer that for myself. “It’s just hard.”

“What? Leaving your family or driving yourself crazy trying to figure out political agendas that you don’t know the first thing about?”

That really hits on the mark. “If I said the latter, would I sound uncaring?”

“Without a doubt.” There’s no question in his voice.

“In that case, my family, but you know my real answer and you also know why.” It isn’t that I don’t hate having to leave my family in a few hours. The real issue is that I'm having a hard time justifying leaving when I have no idea what I’m doing this for. “Do you remember that promise that I asked you to make me?”

He nods in acknowledgement.

“I know your answer,” I continue. “But please hear it out. I wanted you to promise me that you wouldn’t worry about me. Like you said, we did just meet. There’s no reason for you to focus all of your energy on me, regardless of what you promised my dad.”

He listens to it carefully and takes a second to think it over. Raising his eyebrows for a fraction of a second decisively, he gets off of the step and heads to his car without another look at me. I don’t understand where this leaves us; why what I asked him made him leave. I must have misunderstood his intentions. There must be something that I’m not seeing. I want to go back inside, to talk with my family, to tell them the truth about the program I had just been recruited into, and how I feel about it. I know, though, that the second I step in the door, I will have to explain the circumstances surrounding Sean’s departure. So, I stay seated on the step, looking down at the ground.

“I’ll be back before five,” he calls tonelessly from outside of his car, immediately stepping in before I can ask him what he’s returning for.

“Then this is where I’ll be waiting,” I mumble to myself, refusing to get myself moving.  

Author's Note

Chapter 5 coming soon ;)