Fallacies, Book 1

Frightened by the sudden changes within the country, Natalie Matthews decides to become a part of the governing system to change it from within... Introduction/Chapter 1

Introduction

It's frustrating to think that everything I know isn't a clear perception of reality. Everybody wants change, but I never imagined the ramifications of creating it. I thought that I could challenge the governing system by becoming a part of it. Instead, I find myself fighting the secrets that led to its collapse. My boyfriend may have the key to changing the world, but it's hard to control what you don't understand; to make the decision to control others' lives. For him, it's easier, but I could never be that strong.

1

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Magazines are scattered across the kitchen counter, open at various pages to give me a systematic collage to look at as I formulate my thoughts. I'm standing at the edge of it, too lost in my own head to think of anything but the scenic pictures of the United States and the ones from my own country, as it was before the change. There is hardly a difference. Today is the fifth annual anniversary of Crestpoint and to this day, not many people grasp why it is that it split off from the United States. My eyes transition up to the television and catch a news broadcast featuring an armed robber blaming his execution of two innocent victims on the lack of privacy that he now gets as a result of the Council's involvement. I shake my head at it, failing to correlate his actions to this defense. He doesn't look too broken up about the crime. Maybe a little media attention is all he really wanted. Sometimes, it seems as though Crestpoint was established as a confinement to the deranged lunatics of the United States, hopefully excluding me. My thoughts are interrupted as my mom walks into the kitchen, coming to stand across from me at the other end of the counter. She's wearing a white velvet dress that nearly drops down to her knees, with nearly-opaque nude tights and golden heels lacing up to her mid-leg.

“Are you ready to head out?” she asks with a fluttering smile, as excited as every year to be one of the first to the Stadium to get a good view of the annual parade.

“Yeah,” I reply, flicking off the television and closing the magazines.

Once they're placed in a stack at the edge of the counter, I look down at my outfit to make sure that nothing is out of place. I play with the white bell flowers along the mid-seam of my gold cotton gown, transitioning my hands to the back until I'm certain that the braid the ribbon makes is smoothed out. My black hair falls down my back, nearly touching my butt, since I never found a reason to style it. She comes to stand beside me, wrapping an arm around the back of my shoulders to squeeze me, and I'm reminded of the reason we got these dresses. White and gold are the colors of our nation, symbolizing prosperity and purity, but I never truly believed that either is exemplified in the way our system works. After a second, my mom lets go and leaves the kitchen. With a final glance at my dad's magazines, I follow her out through the living room and to the entrance hall, letting her lock the door behind us. As I descend the steps, I glance up and down the neighborhood to get an idea of exactly how early we're leaving this year. As usual, the streets echo with silence, as though no one has lived here for decades. It's not surprising, considering that there are only ten thousand of us in Ves, barely adding to the few million throughout the nation. The sun clouds over the dozens upon dozens of homes just down my block, a good number of them unoccupied. Everyone I know lives in houses, as apartments and condos are a concept left behind in the United States. It was to allow all citizens to experience the independence of managing their own homes without noise, disturbance, or the feeling of confinement. That may be true, but I feel that it was more of an olive branch to keep citizens happy; to prevent them from looking too hard into the government's activities. The thought's been lingering in my mind for weeks. There are too many theories of conspiracies surrounding media and public relations to keep politics out of the mix.

My dad and two brothers are already waiting inside of the vehicle, all wearing black tuxes with white ties. Ryan and Chris sit bored in the back, Chris’s head exasperatedly leaned against the back headrest, while the other is playing with his cufflinks. Chris is two years older than me, while Ryan is one. I come in as the youngest at seventeen years old. My dad has one hand on the steering wheel and another messing with the shift knob. As soon as he sees my mom and I coming, the car is started and ready to take off.

“Hey, scoot over,” I call to Chris, playfully pushing him aside.

He moves over with a frustrated look on his face. “You know that there’s this thing called please, right? It tends to get more results.”

“Yeah, I know. I haven’t integrated it into my vocabulary yet. Let’s try again tomorrow.”

He rolls his eyes and buckles in. No more than five seconds before my mom gets into the vehicle, we are moving, struggling to get our seat belts on with how hard my dad throttles it.

As we drive through the city, there are maybe ten cars on the road. Most everyone is walking on the sidewalk beside the empty buildings. We are able to get through to the heart of the city in twelve minutes, but the ride feels so strange. Laughter floods the streets, gold and white decorations everywhere, from banners to balloons streaming off of street lamps and handrails of stairs. The number five is on every flag, along with the Crestpoint emblem. Not one face looks sad or depressed. For the next thirty minutes, we walk to the stretch of road that will house the parade, closest to the closed Stadium where we will later enter for the Council’s message. I soon lose track of time, finding friends walking by with their families to chat with. Our heads all turn towards the end of the street when music loudly begins playing. A line of flashing gold rolls down the hill against the path of the sun as a marching band with tubas walks towards us, playing the national anthem. Fifty members come nearer, dressed in gold and white uniforms, the men in white suits and the girls in golden dresses that come down to the middle of their thighs, heads decorated with daisies and tall hats. Directly behind them is a float resembling a ship, decorated to give an appearance of wood, sails blowing and a crew waving to the surrounding audience. At the front of the ship stand the five Council members, dressed in golden gowns and black suits, smiling widely at the parents holding their children close beside them or on top of their shoulders.

My brothers push ahead of me to catch a better glimpse of the marching band girls as they move past us, while my parents cheer with the rest of the crowd. I smile at the people aboard the float. As it comes close to us, I lock eyes with the oldest of the Council members and wave. To my surprise, she fully acknowledges me with a smile and waves back, but at this moment, my parents impatiently motion me and my brothers towards the Stadium to get the best seats. Of course, in their mind, the best seats are in the middle row for a more level view of the stage, not the front. As a result, we have plenty of choices and find five spots facing the very front of the stage at a point that will be eye level to the speakers. My cheeks are blushed and slightly stinging from smiling. It isn’t too much longer before others come into the Stadium and surround us. Their voices sound across the walls, making me feel as if I’m wearing a headset that drowns out my own thoughts. The Council members follow behind very shortly. Two bodyguards stand on the right side of the stage as the Council members walk onto it alongside three military personnel, with two other guards following behind, halting at the left side of the stage to close them in. Most everyone has entered and the doors leading to the Stadium close, signaling time for the Council to speak. Aves, the oldest of the Council, steps forward to the microphone and everyone falls silent to hear him.

“Thank you to all of you for coming today,” he speaks in a deep, commanding tone. “Today, we are here to commemorate five long years since the founding of Crestpoint. It has been devotion and the respect of all of our citizens for our future that we have come together and built a country for us to inhabit and grow. Each of us is gifted a home here, a family, not because of us, but because of your efforts and undying loyalty to one-another. With these values, we have established a strong economy, an outstanding military, and a spirit that will surely preserve the life that we sought out to create for ourselves, for our friends, and for our children. Today, we gather to talk about preservation and as we have done each year, to set an annual resolution for our citizens as a whole to strive towards for the betterment of our society. With the level of strife and conflict facing us in the first stages of this country’s development, we must take initiative to protect ourselves from a declining slope, as many other countries have done and continue to do. I can talk about building bonds with our neighbors and keeping an eye out for criminals, but those are practices that we already take to in our lives. At this point in our growth, we have a peaceful nation. What we need is a stronger public effort to keep criminals accountable and methods to ensure that accountability is met for those seeking to harm this peace. This is where our soldiers come into play. Over the past three years, we have taken significant effort to raise awareness for our military and build their skills in order to protect us in everyday life. We can only defend ourselves so much without the proper training and such training is costly and can only be completed by those who are strong enough. Each and every one of you plays an invaluable role in maintaining the safety of this society, but as in any country, some perform best as scientists, engineers, soldiers, and even architects. We all have different roles and must develop them for our nation to succeed. As such, to strengthen our count of soldiers, we are seeking to recruit a handful of capable men and women to lead our nation in military capabilities. To give you the face of our soldiers, I would like to introduce you to Sean Davis, my First-In-Command.”

Applause sounds around me as a man steps forward towards the microphone. His figure is strong and built, while his face is clearly of someone in his late teenage years, yet closed up and commanding. Aves puts his hand on the man’s shoulder momentarily and without hesitation, Davis starts to speak.

“Thank you,” he says with a deep voice that draws all attention to him. His eyes sweep the room and I can see each girl leaning towards him to get a better look. “Military is a command central to a nation that needs leadership; a guiding hand that has experienced battle. It is a segment of the government and as such, it is entirely under the supervision and control of our citizens. As soldiers, we fight as one under all lines of fire. We take responsibility for each other’s mistakes and take a stand for what is right even when it’s a direct risk to our own lives. However, we do operate in numbers. While our bonds are strong, there are only so many of us to fight for the safety of our families and this nation. That is why we recruit. We do not force any citizens to become a part of our ranks. We ask that others join us and we bring them into our family. We ask that all those who have a determination to fight for our country join us. Our family is recruiting those of you who are between the ages of seventeen and twenty-six. We will train each and every one of you to fight, to hold the values true to Crestpoint, and to defend our families and friends. We ask you to give yourselves up for each other and join as one. So, please come speak with me and anybody else in the Council about recruitment. I look forward to working with each and every one of you. Thank you.”

He takes a step back and returns to his original position. Clapping and applause erupts all around in response to his speech and teenagers immediately begin pleading with their parents to enroll in the military training. I look at my brothers to see them leaning back to speak with friends behind them about who is signing up. My parents turn to me with worried looks on their faces and I realize that it has nothing to do with the girls gossiping to join the training for the sake of the cute guy. It’s a worry of Aves’s message and the country’s resolution of strengthening its military. I think back to his words. They were intricate, but they had no true meaning. His solution was a disguise to implement government control over our lives. After all, building a crime-free society will never happen, not without the freedoms of citizens being revoked. While those of us who truly cannot fight have little chance of defending ourselves with training, the best solution to self-defense is with guns and self-installed security systems, not military intervention. The Council has been working the past several years to revoke our gun privileges and increase their level of control over our lives. Yet, these actions gave them control, not us. I begin to worry about the same thing as my parents - a stronger military comprised of the most impressionable members of society; those that are cared for most by families and are easy to influence. There would be no other reason to recruit those below the legal age while refusing to take on those over the age of twenty-six. It’s not as though soldiers in their late twenties and thirties would somehow lack strength. They are simply not as malleable due to experience and hold stronger political opinions than teenagers who do what they are told. They don't gravitate to the most popular societal opinions. As I finish my thought, Aves walks to the microphone once again.

“Thank you to every one of you who came,” he says cheerfully. “I hope that you will leave today with a better understanding of the role our soldiers play in society and the value that each of our citizens holds to building a stronger, more stable country for us to enjoy. We will leave off on this note and I will see you next year during our annual parade. It has been a pleasure to collaborate on the safety and stability of Crestpoint. Farewell.”

Applause once again ensues and Aves starts a line off of the stage. The remainder of the Council, along with Davis, follows behind. They take their place behind the recruiting table and as families get up to leave, daughters and sons rush down to form lines to speak with each member, presumably to register into the training program. I follow the flow of the audience and exit the Stadium with my family closely behind. We return back to the city streets and step off to the side to let everyone else pass while we talk.

“So what did you guys think?” Ryan asks.

My parents and Chris look nervously at him, as though thinking of how to answer.

“It was an interesting speech,” my dad finally says. “Very insightful.”

“Just not in the way that we expected,” my mom adds.

“Soldiers,” I start, primarily looking towards my parents. “Less control for us while they build an army. Anybody else think that that’s a horrible solution to national safety?”

Both look a little surprised at me.

“I guess we had to see something like this coming,” my mom admits. “It’s not like we have the most overwhelming idea as to why the United States let Crestpoint form.”

I raise my eyebrows a little bit and nod in agreement. The official story is that the practices of the United States were not suitable for what Crestpoint’s citizens wanted in terms of close-housing, lack of privacy, and excessive government control.

“I guess that’s what you get when you form a government using the leaders of a society you didn’t want to be part of,” I say half-mockingly.

“No kidding,” Chris says in a somber voice. We all look at him, ready to ask what he’s so quiet about. “You already know what I’m thinking. Natalie already said it, just in nicer words.” He smiles for a second, helping to lighten the mood for me.

A hand waves at us from a distance and my mom walks towards it, recognizing it as our next-door neighbor. Chris, Ryan, and our dad walk over to join her. I close my eyes for a minute and take a deep breath to catch myself. I hope that upon opening them, things will somehow be different, but when I do, they’re still the same; the faces that smile, the lack of attention to the Council’s message. It’s as though the whole world is ignoring the problem, but if my family has caught it so quickly, I know that it can’t be true. The chances of a society not realizing the reasons behind our government wanting to strengthen the military are very slim. I hope that the majority of those around me aren’t stupid; that it’s the minority supporting this, just somehow louder and more volatile than the general public. My eyes dart around the streets, hoping to somehow confirm what I’m thinking. When they draw near the Stadium, they catch the Council members leaving, along with their bodyguards and the accompanying soldiers. Suddenly, a detail catches my eye. The soldiers leaving are much older than the First-In-Command who spoke. Stranger, he’s nowhere in sight, even as the group walks further away in the direction where the parade started.

Even after meeting the Council woman’s eyes on the float, I have no appreciation for them. The only thoughts in my mind revolve around fear. I find my parents and run over to hug them. I don’t want to be stuck in a society where I have no ability to defend myself; to control my own future. Most of all, I couldn’t live knowing that I passed the chance to ensure the safety of my family. I’m horrible at decisions, but at least I can make up my mind on a whim. I take another deep breath, this time with my eyes wide open.

“Excuse me,” I say to our neighbors. “Could I please pull my parents aside for a moment? There’s something very important that I need to go over with them.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Johnson says, nudging her husband to follow her away from us.

“Sure,” Chris says mockingly. “Now you know how to use please.”

“Now I have a reason to,” I respond absentmindedly and pull my parents from the edges of the street to the lawn. I feel my body nearly shaking with fear from my decision and it’s as though I can’t breathe properly. “It’s about the soldiers. I can’t be OK with the changes that are taking place right now. They’re wrong and they’re exactly what we started Crestpoint to avoid. I can’t live in a world where the government can send a military strike on my home and order me around. I don’t know how to defend myself, because at the time when I need to, these changes will take away the tools I need for it. I get that I’m seventeen, that I’m not anywhere near ready to be a soldier or fight a system that still claims to be under the people’s control, but I don’t think that next year it’ll be an option.”

“Look,” my dad starts to say. “Natalie, I know what you’re going to say and you can’t just sign your life away "”

“Dad, Dad, I know,” I interrupt, not able to let him turn me down before I make my case with how important this is. “I know that I can’t sign my life away to the government now, but I’m not, not really. Aves had no meaning to his message and I can’t believe that his First-In-Command did, either. He could have easily just been a better motivational speaker. All I know is that signing my life away to his command through the military while it’s supposedly under the supervision of the people is smarter than staying clear of it and signing my life away involuntarily to the government when I have no choice in the matter. Besides, I’d rather go straight after the leader of the guys with the guns and training, rather than the one passing laws. Please. I’m asking that you and Mom trust me. I don’t want to do this for anything other than my safety and knowing that I can one day protect yours. Let me sign up.”

I finish my rant and my parents look at me speechlessly. I don’t think that I’d know what to say in their place, either. Realistically, I can’t develop a conclusion to why I’m talking to them about this at all. It’s not as if there’s a pressing deadline hanging over my head.

“I can’t send my daughter to her death,” my mom finally says to my dad. “But at least they’ll train her.”

“I can’t send her into that at all,” my dad debates, looking squarely at me. “Look, it’s too dangerous. You have no idea what they’ll do to you; what they’ll train you for or how. There’s no knowing.”

I pause for a second, realizing that there’s no way that I can convince him otherwise, since I can’t even convince myself that what he’s saying is wrong. In a moment, the answer becomes clear to me as I watched a line of girls that must have just signed up leaving the Stadium in a rush, whispering to each other and holding papers in their hands. I turn back to my dad.

“You’re right,” I say. “Let me do this. Trust my judgment. You know how skeptical I am of this. I will never put my life at risk if it’ll result in a single scratch. You have to know that I’m asking this because I’m scared of the alternative and have made up my mind that this is the right choice for me. So, let me go into that building and talk to him. If he convinces me, I sign up. If he says something that gives me even the smallest doubt that what I’m doing is wrong, I’ll come back and find another way around this stupid system. Can I just talk to him?”

“Who’s he?” my dad asks, unconvinced.

“The First-In-Command.”

He looks bewildered by my suggestion, but then his expression softens like he realizes who I’m talking about. “Sean?”

“Yeah,” I answer slowly, surprised that he remembers his name. “That guy. I saw that he stayed behind when the Council left.”

“I’m not surprised,” my dad says thoughtfully, confusing me further. “You can talk to him, but I won’t let you sign. Come get me and your mom when you finish with him.”

“Then do me a favor and stand by the Stadium. Wait for me there. I’ll do one better and see if he can convince you too, not just me.”

“If you can pull that off, then we have a deal.”

“OK,” I call back to them as I take off running. “I love you.”

I’m in the Stadium within thirty seconds, walking around a stream of girls and a few guys among the mix, some pretending to punch each other and some walking ahead with determined looks to both their expressions and stances. I reach the floor of the Stadium and turn to see that there are still twenty girls in line speaking with the First-In-Command. Knowing that there is no way that I’ll be able to pull him aside with others here, I get behind them and take a seat in the very first row of bleachers behind the lowest bar. There is no chance that he will miss me. It will give me a perfect opportunity to show my interest and catch him off his game.

The wait isn’t short, as each girl tries to take as long as possible to get to know him. I even overhear some asking if he can show them some defense moves on the spot, which he thankfully declines each time that I repress a laugh. As the last girl giddily leaves the room, I put my arms onto the rail and lean my torso against it while in my seat. He looks down, gathering his paperwork, seemingly missing me. I wait another ten seconds and just as I predict, he looks around to make sure he didn’t miss anyone, just to catch sight of me.

“Can I help you?” he asks, moving the stack of papers in his hands towards me. “Were you waiting to grab one of the fliers?”

“I didn’t come to grab a flier,” I explain, getting up from my seat. “But I did want to speak with you once you were done with everyone else.” With how nervous I had felt walking into the Stadium, my body feels surprisingly steady. I walk down the stairs towards him and he continues to wait there with the papers now on the table in front of him, patiently expecting to hear what I have to say next. “I’m considering joining the program, but I need to know the details of it. I want to know what it’ll teach me; where I’ll live.” I pause for a second. “If it’ll actually train me to protect myself.”

He straightens up and smiles a little bit. “But that information is all in the flier and I have a feeling you know that. What are you looking for that I can’t hand you?”

I pause to answer, failing to come up with a reasonable one that will make sense outside of what I’m feeling.

“Not that I want to push you out, of course,” he adds quickly in assurance, seeing my hesitation.

“Right,” I say. “I know. I’m here because I can’t convince myself to sign up, because I don’t want to be part of a military operation, but I also feel like I’m walking away from something important if I don’t. Most importantly, I’m here to convince my parents.” He places his hands on the table and leans against them with his head nodding in understanding. “It’s pretty impossible to convince them, which is why I can’t have any doubts.”

“I know how that is,” he laughs. “Half of the girls here came to talk before their parents drag them away, but if you can’t convince them, let alone yourself, I don’t know what you think I could do to help either of you.”

“There’s a lot. For one, you can answer this. Why did they send you to recruit?”

He raised his eyebrow in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“You’re the First-In-Command. The past two years, the Council has been working to build public safety awareness for the country and now, when they want to build their military, they don’t bring in a General. Why?”

“I don’t think that you understand how the military works in Crestpoint. The General is the Council. The First-In-Command is the person who maintains all training and recruiting, which is me. I answer to the Vice General, who deals with strategy and overseeing all of the groups I manage.”

“But then the Council authorizes all military action. How can that work when there are five people and the citizens supposedly run the Council? In that sense, they’d be running the military and I haven’t heard a single one of them authorizing military activity.”

“Supposedly is the key word. The Council is its own entity. The people are in charge of it, but that does not mean that the Council must share all responsibilities and knowledge with the public. That cannot work in a government system.”

“I’m aware, but -” I cut myself off, recognizing that I can’t keep asking such deep questions

in case he suspects me of criticizing the system, although I’m sure it’s too late for that.

“But what?” he asks, looking at me questioningly with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I freeze for a second, not knowing what to ask next. “I obviously can’t give you the answer that you want. The best I can give you is a flier. It has everything on there that I can tell you.”

I can’t think of what to say, so I walk over to the table to grab one. When I get there, he picks one up and holds it out for me to take.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask me these questions,” he says. “What’s stopping you from joining?”

“I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.” I take the flier from him and my body starts to slowly unfreeze. “Leaving scares me, but so does staying put.”

Sean stays as still as I do, letting his eyes examine mine for a moment. “Fear isn’t going to go away. You have to look past that. I can’t convince your parents for you. I can tell you my experiences and that joining has been a huge part of who I am, but I can’t make it important to your life and I can’t make it any less scary.” He pushes off from the table and continues to put his paperwork into a black briefcase.

I can’t turn around and leave without knowing what I need to do. Turning my head back towards the Stadium seats, I know that if I stay just a little longer, I might figure out what question I really need to ask. After glancing back at Sean for a second to make sure he’s not going to take off right now, I walk back over to my spot and sit down to read the flier. It has very little information on it, but rather a picture of soldiers marching together in their uniforms with guns in hand. Flipping it over, I find basic information regarding accommodations and possible positions. It turns out that everyone in training lives purely on the military base, rather than an outpost or at home. The commitment to the program consists of five weeks of training and three overall years of service. A click sounds from ahead as Sean closes the briefcase. Deciding that this flier has nothing that I need to make up my mind, I walk back over to him and reach my hand out with it.

“Here,” I say, motioning for him to take it from me.

“It’s yours,” he says, shaking his head without looking at me.

“I don’t need it.”

He takes it back and crumples it into a ball that he throws into a trash beneath the table.

“I’m taking a chance,” I announce breathlessly, somehow having let it expire on the sentence. “But I do need to ask you a favor.”

“What?” he asks in surprise, finally looking up.

“Can you come with me?”

“Where to?”

“Please trust me. It’s on the way out.”

He grabs his briefcase, appearing slightly hesitant. “OK.”

We head out of the Stadium and towards my parents, who are pacing back and forth. When they see me coming, they walk across the lawn to the concrete path to greet us.

“Here,” I point to them for Sean. “Mom, Dad, my mind’s still made up. I have no new reasons other than what I said to you. The difference is that he’s the deciding factor.”

My parents just look at each other, as if contemplating how he’s going to make them change their minds.

“And what could you say that would convince me to allow my seventeen-year-old daughter to risk her life?” my dad asks Sean with a look that makes him cringe a little bit.

“It would give her the skills she needs to defend herself,” Sean answers without a moment’s hesitation. It doesn’t seem to have an effect, though, so he keeps going. “It will allow her to fight for her country and to build a better future for Crestpoint.”

I hold my breath at my dad’s stone-cold expression, guessing that this is going to end in an immediate denial.

“That’s not what I’m asking you,” my dad continues, his tone growing menacing. “What is the reason that I, as a father, should let her go? Not any other person, but her?”

“Because she’ll be safe and this is what she wants to do,” Sean explains stiffly, collecting himself.

I look between them, wondering if I should step in. This would have been a much different discussion if the guy didn’t look like he was barely older than me.

“How old are you?” my dad asks Sean, apparently thinking the same thing.

“Twenty-years-old, sir.”

“And what gave you the motivation to join? How old were you back then?”

“I was eighteen at the time and I did it to protect myself; to make sure that if the country fell apart, I would have the experience and training to bring it back.”

“Eighteen… and that tells me that not only did you rank up in two years, but that next year, you will be free to leave. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“So if I let Natalie go and you quit next year, I can’t guarantee her safety. How long will you be staying?”

“Until I am twenty-five. It came as a personal commitment with the position.”

My dad pauses to look at my mom with a heavy sigh. She nods reluctantly and he turns back to Sean.

“Then it’s decided,” he says, turning to me for a moment before taking a step closer to face him. “She may join, but you will be fully responsible for her safety. You are her mentor by responsibility to your position and if you allow her into your program, you will have a responsibility to me. I won’t let that go lightly.”

“Sir, I can’t guarantee her safety under any circumstances. If this country goes to war, if conflict breaks loose, then I won’t always be able to protect her.”

I can sense regret in his voice, but can’t figure out why it’s there. It’s not as if he has any commitments to me. Still, he looks between both my parents, instilling the relevance of his word.

“But I will try,” he adds after a moment’s pause.

“Are you serious?” I quickly ask Sean, not wanting him to get tied into any agreements.

“Of course I am,” he answers without hesitation. “If you want to join, then I’ll take accountability for your safety to the best that I can.”

Shaking my head at him in disbelief, I take the win and focus back on my parents, hugging each of them for changing their minds. Part of me kind of hoped that they would have said no so I had to let this notion go, but the other part of me is relieved that I’m able to do this.

“We know you’ll do good,” my dad says as my mom gives me one more hug.

“But, what do I do next?” I ask, turning to look at Sean, who stands there with a small smile.

“You come with me,” he answers flatly.

“Right now?” I ask. This was never something that I was told would be immediate. Then again, I really didn’t ask too many pointed questions, if any.

“If you want a tour of the base. You can of course come back to see your parents and say goodbye.”

“Umm -” I stop, not knowing what to say. I look at my parents, primarily to see if they can tell him to wait without the rudeness that I know my response will demonstrate.

“Go,” my mom says comfortingly, missing the hint. “Go see where you’ll stay. This is important to you.”

“Thank you,” I say to her slowly, wondering if she wants me to go now to make sure I like it enough to go through with this. At least Sean’s going to let me go home to say goodbye to them. Just in case, I pull them both in an embrace again. After what feels like a minute, we break off from each other and my eyes involuntarily start to cloud with tears. “But where are Chris and Ryan?”

“It’s fine,” my mom says hurriedly like she always does to push my emotions away. “We’ll tell them what happened.”

“Natalie,” comes a voice from behind her. I look towards the crowd to see Chris and Ryan running towards me in a hurry.

“Hey,” Chris says in alarm between breaths. “Natalie, what’s going on?”

“I signed up,” I answer before they can ask too much more about it. “I love you guys so much. I’ll miss you.”

“But -” Ryan starts to say, never leaving anything be.

“OK,” Chris cuts in, seeing that I don’t want to discuss it. It feels like any more questions will just make the circumstance more realistic than I already like. “You’d better call tonight.”

I nod in agreement and hug them both, glad that Ryan didn’t finish. If he had, there’s a chance that it might have changed my mind or made me want to return home right now.

I turn back to Sean and walk forward, careful not to make eye contact with him before my tears subside. The last thing I want them to do is pour down my face.

“I’m ready,” I tell him with my eyes straight ahead of me.

“Good,” he says in a soft voice. “Let’s get going.”

He leads me in the direction from which the parade started, heading into an area that I have never been before, primarily because there’s nothing I needed to ever see there. No part of me feels comfort or relief. The only emotions running through me are fear and a longing to be back with my family. The prospect of leaving for a place that I’m signing myself away to for the next three years terrifies me. It seems like the very thing I’m trying to avoid, just the lesser of two evils. I keep moving beside Sean, anxious to explore what will be my new home, but more than anything, determined to find out exactly what the Council has in store for Crestpoint.

Author's Note

What do you think of this chapter?