chapter 5

Terri woke up the next afternoon. Dr. Rushing was talking with two nurses at the doorway of the room. Both of Terri’s parents were listening.

            “Well, we’d better wake her up now and tell her what’s going on,” Dr. Rushing was saying. “Oh, Terri, you’re awake,” he said when he turned to the bed. He began to talk. Terri was going to be transferred to the fifth floor for some X-rays. She tried desperately to concentrate on Dr. Rushing’s words but she was still groggy and found this an extremely difficult task. She felt she had the gist of what was going to happen; she was going for an X-ray.

            The nurses wheeled the hospital bed out of the room and into the long hallway. In front of the elevator, two other nurses joined the two steering Terri’s bed. The elevator smelled musty, like mothballs. Terri didn’t like it very much.

            Terri’s parents were waiting in the fifth floor lobby. They came to the bedside and gave Terri a few words of encouragement. Relax, do as you’re told, try not to tense up, it’ll all be over shortly, they said. Terri nodded and smiled at them in response.

            The X-ray room looked dark from the doorway. Then again, the glass was tinted. The nurses, all four of them mind you, wheeled a wheelchair to the bedside. A challenge: Terri had to get herself from the hospital bed to the wheelchair. Terri’s only concern was her back, which indeed, was a rather large concern. Terri moved herself into the sitting position, legs dangling toward the floor-so far the pain was manageable. Three of the four nurses literally lifted her off the bed and into the wheelchair; the fourth nurse steadied the chair. Terri let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. One of the nurses smiled down at Terri and patted her shoulder.

            At this point all but one of the nurses disappeared. The remaining nurse wheeled Terri into the room. The room was dimly lit with only a single overhead light which couldn’t have exceeded forty watts. A large panel was mounted on the wall with someone else’s X-rays still on it. Terri studied them-there were four all in a row. They appeared to be a right forearm. Try as she might, she couldn’t find anything wrong with the bone.

            A tall man in a white floor-length coat walked in, breaking Terri’s concentration. He gave her a brief synopsis of what he was going to do and background information on what his job entailed.

            The X-rays surprisingly took little time; Terri had expected to be on the fifth floor for several hours. Instead, she was back in her room on the eighth floor in about an hour and a half.

            Both of Terri’s parents stayed with her through lunch, then departed. Terri was glad to be alone for a while; the ordeal of the morning had worn her out. Terri settled into a daydream but came out of it when something occurred to her; she hadn’t see Greg in two days. She missed him. She called his house but nobody answered. Slightly upset, she returned to her daydream. Within several minutes she was sound asleep. While she slept, a nurse came in and gave her medications.

            Terri woke up when a hand began to stroke her hair. She opened her eyes to Greg. She smiled. The door was cracked and the hallway light streamed into the room.

            “Hi, where in the world have you been?!” she whispered into the darkness.

            “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before hand-“ Greg began to explain.

            “Tell me what?” Terri interrupted.

            “I went to a hockey tournament this week. We left Wednesday and got home today. I tried to call, but the phone just picked up a busy signal.”

            Terri looked at the phone. The cord that connected to the phone from the wall was limply dangling in the air.

            “Mmm, I wonder how that happened,” Terri said, more to herself than to Greg.

            “Well, that explains why I couldn’t reach you. But I wonder why I didn’t get the nurses’ station?” Greg pondered aloud, he shrugged.

            Greg took something out of a paper bag and held it up.

            “We won,” he said holding up a shiny tall, gold trophy. Even though it was dark, the trophy glowed. It had a statuette of a hockey player hitting a puck on the top level. On the second level, two golf-ball-sized gold soccer balls sat gleaming. A name plate was set on the base of the trophy with Greg’s full name, the date, tournament name, and Greg’s position engraved on a small plaque.

            Terri smiled happily at Greg and congratulated him warmly. Then she yawned and closed her eyes. Greg woke Terri up by crunching on an apple. He looked at Terri and smiled at her through a very large mouthful of apple. Terri couldn’t help but laugh at him. Greg held the half eaten apple to Terri’s mouth; she took a large bite herself. The apple leaked a bittersweet juice into Terri’s mouth, cold and crisp on her tongue.

            A silence settled between the two. The only sound that could be heard was the IV monitor. A nurse knocked on the door, and entered without waiting for so much as a “come in.” She was carrying Terri’s midday medicines in her right hand. She smiled as she said, “I just be a few minutes.” She gave the medicines to Terri, bid her and Greg goodbye, and retreated. After the nurse left, the odd silence that had been previously present had vanished. The two began to discuss the upcoming school hockey game.

            Terri’s father stuck his head in the doorway.

            “Hi. I just forgot my briefcase; it’s under the window. He crossed the room and picked it up. Terri hadn’t even noticed it’s presence. On his way out the door, he paused and looked back over his shoulder, his body half turned.

            Terri was hungry, and it came on immediately. As if magic, a lunch tray arrived. “It’s only lunch?!” Terri thought. It had been such a long morning. She ate happily. Greg ate around her. Whatever she didn’t eat, Greg ate. Sleep called to Terri shortly after lunch she snuggled down in the hospital bed. She was half asleep when Greg left.

            Terri woke up the next morning to her mother’s soft hand stroking her hair. “Good morning Baby. You know, you slept right through breakfast, but I can go get you something, if you’re hungry.” she said, kissing Terri’s right temple.

            “I’m not hungry, thanks anyway though.” The truth was Terri was hungry, but , for some reason, she didn’t want her mother to leave her. She snuggled into her mother’s chest, her body warmth and smell familiar and comfortable. Almost instantly, she was sound asleep again.

            She woke late in the night to loud voices in the hallway. “You need to get in there and see her before she’s gone for good!” a woman’s voice boomed.

            “Why should I? She never gave a damn about me and what I needed.” a young man’s voice returned, emphasizing the word “I.” “All she ever cared about was herself and those stupid guys,” he raged.

            “Because, whether you like it or not you are her son and you can’t change that.”

            “I can and I will, I hope she dies and I hope she goes to hell!” They kept screaming at each other for several minutes before a nurse intervened and broke it up.

            Discontented, Terri finally settled into an uneasy sleep.

            Terri woke to the lunch tray. She studied the steaming food. Deciding it was worth eating, she dove in.

            Greg sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled down at Terri. He drew in a breath and spoke, “I got that scholarship to the college in Montreal.”  He beamed. Terri’s heart sunk. Greg was leaving and how would she manage without him? Oh well, he was happy and she had to support him.

            Terri smiled at him. Greg hopped off the bed, and stared out the window.

            “I’m going to Montreal. Terri. Can you believe it?! God, I can’t believe it.” He spoke in an elated tone. He returned to the bed and told Terri every minute about the moment he’d read the acceptance letter.

            As he was finishing his story, Terri’s mom walked in carrying a thermos. She said hello to Greg and opened the thermos. She stuck a plastic spoon in it and handed it to Terri. Even though Terri had eaten, she was suddenly extremely hungry. She lifted the thermos to her nose and inhaled deeply. Soup. Flavorful and full of vegetables, pasta (one of Terri’s favorite foods) and chicken. She took a huge steaming bite and squawked. Greg and her mother, who had been discussing Greg’s scholarship, looked at Terri. “Hot,” Terri said meekly. Terri’s mother stifled a giggle and handed her a cup of ice water. While Terri drank her mother popped a few ice cubes in her thermos. Terri allowed the ice cubes ample time to do their job and then finished eating the soup.

            Terri felt warm inside after she’d eaten and closed her eyes and listened to Greg and her mother’s voice. Greg’s voice danced with excitement as he told Terri’s mom about the scholarship. He was going to receive a four-year scholarship. He would take his breaks and travel throughout eastern Canada. Terri drifted off to sleep listening to Greg jabber about major eastern Canadian attractions. She did not want Greg to leave her. Terri’s mother stayed behind and looked at Terri with a crooked smile.

            “What?” Terri asked. She knew exactly what was going on, but she asked anyway.

            “You know what Terri. You’re upset with Greg.”

            Terri’s eyes narrowed and she promptly denied her mother’s words. She claimed that she was very happy for Greg; she was just extremely tired. Her mother gave her daughter a look that said she didn’t believe a word Terri had just said.

            “Mom, really - I couldn’t be any happier for Greg than I am now. This is his dream and I’m so excited for him.”

            Her mom sighed and kissed Terri’s forehead. “That bruise on your leg seems to be healing nicely. It’s kind of purplish-green now, and it looks like it shrunk. Terri, I haven’t actually seen your body since before the accident; have you had the chance to look at all your bruises?”

            Terri nodded. She had seen her body and she knew she had several large, painful bruises on her trunk. “Yes, I’ve seen all of them; I’ve got some pretty nasty ones too.” Terri continued talking to her mother but she felt uncomfortable. Seeing this, her mother stayed until the lunch tray had been collected and then kissed Terri’s forehead and silently left.

            Terri slept for a few hours and then woke up to the gentle, cold touch of a nurse.

            “Sweetie, I’m sorry to wake you, but I want to know if you would like a quick shower?”

            Terri closed her eyes and thought for a moment. Then she opened her eyes and whispered, “Yes please.” The nurse silently unhooked Terri’s various tubes and then helped Terri make her way to the tiled bathroom. The nurse proceeded to turn on the shower and then returned to Terri, gently untiing Terri’s hospital gown. Tossing the dirty gown on the floor just outside the bathroom, the nurse turned her full attention to Terri, who allowed herself to be led into the shower. The nurse had turned the flow on; Terri must have been lost in thought because she didn’t even notice that the nurse had turned it on. The water was tepid and Terri wanted it warmer, but she wasn’t in the mood to ask. Instead, she closed her eyes and thought about Sagel and Greg. She wanted him to go, but she didn’t want to say goodbye to him, not right now.

            The shower ended too soon and Terri was thrown into a cold world of nakedness. The nurse scurried around Terri blotting the water droplets off her frozen body. Finally, the nurse worked a nightgown onto Terri’s body. Then she toweled her hair dry and helped her back to the bed. Terri sighed heavily and closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow.

            She managed to sleep straight through the dinner tray and on into the night. She finally woke in mid-afternoon to the sweet, cool voice of her cousin, Jen.

            “Jen, what’re you doing here?!” Terri asked. Jen was two years older than Terri and about two and a half inches shorter. They had the same hair color, but Jen’s hair was slightly shorter. Her eyes were darker too.

            Jen, who had turned to face Terri, now greeted her cousin warmly.

            “Hey! I was starting to develop a case of cabin fever, so I decided to come see you. And, I just got a new car; I thought I’d try it out on the open road.”

            Terri smiled her response and let Jen continue to ramble. They ended up talking late into the afternoon. Around the time the sun began to sink down below the horizon, Greg came into the hospital room. Jen, who was in the middle of a sentence, froze and stared at him.

            Meanwhile, Jen introduced herself and acquainted herself with Greg.

            After saying “Hi,” Greg turned to Terri and greeted her. Unexpectedly, he hugged her, burying his face in her long hair. Terri held him, and closed her eyes. He broke away unannounced and held up a thick packet of paper.

            “These are some information sheets I printed off about Montreal,” he said excitedly. He turned to Jen and once again, related his situation.

            They spent about one hour looking through all the brochures and talking about Montreal. Jen, who calls Montreal home, was able to offer tid-bit after tid-bit of trivia about the city and its history. Terri contented herself to relaxing in the bed with Greg sitting on the edge. As it got darker outside, the conversation began to wind down.

            When Greg finally departed, Jen looked at Terri knowingly.

            “What?!” Terri whined. She paused, and lowered her eyes. “Okay, you got me,” she said softly. “I’m trying to be happy for him really, Jen, I am. But, I need him and now he’s leaving. He’s the only one who really understands what I’m feeling.”

            Jen nodded her head in agreement and proceed to tell Terri that she would feel the same way. “You really should tell him though.” she advised. Terri nodded and said goodnight to her cousin. The next day, Terri didn’t see Greg at all. Her parents came by with Jen in the morning, but left; Jen stayed the afternoon and ultimately the night. Terri woke midmorning to a totally empty room. Thankful for a few minutes to collect her thoughts, she closed her eyes and began to think.

            “Mmm...Terri...” Terri jerked herself out of her thought bubble. Greg was standing at the foot of the bed.

            “Hey...long time no see,” She said awkwardly. Greg smiled in response and sat down on the edge of the bed. Terri drew in a breath. “Greg, about this scholarship; I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Greg cocked his head to one side and listened. “I just want you to know that, well, I care about you and your happiness.”

            Greg spoke slowly and thoughtfully, “I really do want this scholarship, but I know how difficult it will be for you when I leave; I mean, it’s different now with Sagel gone. But, Terri, this is what I’ve worked for my whole life.” He took Terri’s hand and looked deeply into her eyes. “It’s not like I won’t come to see you every chance I get. I promise.”

            Terri felt trapped. She knew that Greg must go but the thought of being alone was unbearable. She smiled weakly but didn’t pursue the matter any farther. Instead, she took his hand and smiled, “Well, when do you leave?”

            Greg thought for a minute, “Hold on; I leave in August, and I start classes in late September. So that gives us four months before I leave.”

            “It’s not very long, but it’ll be enough time for you to get out of this bed and for us to hang out. Anyway, Jen lives in Montreal, so when you visit her, you’ll be able to visit me too.” Terri smiled and let a surprisingly comfortable silence settle between them.

            After many moments, Terri looked at Greg, “If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that you can’t hold onto someone forever. If it’s their time to move on, they will.” Terri smiled weakly at Greg and reached out for him. He was at the bedside in one, quick stride, sitting lightly on the edge of the bed.

            Terri spent the afternoon visiting with her family. Later that evening, when it was just Terri, Jen, and Terri’s mother, Jen piped up, “So do you think you’ll be able to go to prom?” Terri, who was surprised by the question, shrugged, “I haven’t even thought about it; how can I?”

            “Well, I think you’ll be much stronger by the end of May. When is prom, honey?” Terri’s mother asked.

            “Ummm, it’s the last weekend of May,” Terri answered. Her mother nodded and counted the weeks on her fingers.

            “Well, you have about a month and a half to get strong.”

            “Okay, but I’ve got no real reason to go anymore. And I don’t have a date.”

            “Oh but what about Greg,” Jen offered. She smiled slyly at her cousin as she made the remark. Terri looked at her with a questioning look, but said nothing.

            “I have a dress that would probably fit you, Terri,” Jen offered. “I’ll send it to you when I get back home.”

            “What does it look like?”

            “It’s dark purple, almost blue, and it’s a halter top. It comes to about here, “she measured about mid-chest on herself,” and it’s a floor-length too, but you need heels with it...well, maybe you won’t because you’re a couple inches taller than me, but I need heels. One other thing, I had it hemmed about one and a half inches, so if you let the hem down, it’ll be perfect.” She sighed and took a deep breath as the entire description of the dress came out in one long breath.

            Terri wondered, “Could she and Greg go to the prom without Sagel? Would she mind?”