Small coffins
Little boxes,
Laden with tears,
Are heaviest
Lifted and lowered
Mothers wail
Father’s fail
To keep them from
Chasing their children
Into graves,
Tripping on
Hidden umbilicals
And falling upon
Cold wet clods of earth,
Grasping desperately
At the hurt
Caving in upon
The white flowers.
"chasing their children into graves"
that is such a powerful image...this poem hurts...tears on those white flowers.
j.
Posted 4 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
4 Years Ago
Thank you, Jacob. I haven’t been here in along time. I need to get back to the readership here. I .. read moreThank you, Jacob. I haven’t been here in along time. I need to get back to the readership here. I am glad it made an impact. Cheers, Max
Fortunately, I’ve never had to see a small coffin. I’ve never had kids becuz I didn’t have the courage to face this possibility, which to me, seems to be life-shattering. And you’ve captured that perfectly here without going on & on in a dramatic way. Your blunt staccato approach suggests a robotic sensation as one goes thru the motions of living while dead inside. There’s a ton of originality here & I love that you don’t go all melodramatic about such a deep topic (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Barleygirl, I’ve been taking. Break from the site. Realistically no poetry for some time to come, .. read moreBarleygirl, I’ve been taking. Break from the site. Realistically no poetry for some time to come, but thank you for coming out still. Will try something new by June.
6 Years Ago
Will miss seeing your new works here for awhile. This website is unwieldy lately anyhow – keeps fr.. read moreWill miss seeing your new works here for awhile. This website is unwieldy lately anyhow – keeps freezing up on me with every review/reply! Hope you continue on soon.
The title itself tells the story.
I think that's why I was drawn to it.
You wrote it well. It's not the sort of poem you can say "I really like this poem" to.
But I felt the words and am glad to have read it.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
And I’m honored you read them. I know what you mean about ‘liking’ such a poem. It’s a dilem.. read moreAnd I’m honored you read them. I know what you mean about ‘liking’ such a poem. It’s a dilemma to be sure. Ana, I’ve seen you do collections of your poetry rather than individual poems. Are they done thematically? I like all kinds to be sure, but I’m into extremes, heavy or funny (“limericky”). Cheers for stopping by.
You are welcome Maxwell.
Regarding my poems, they are all just random mostly.
Although.. read moreYou are welcome Maxwell.
Regarding my poems, they are all just random mostly.
Although I do have one that is mostly things suitable for children.
7 Years Ago
Well, If you can guide me to a place where your poetry started, I will work my way from that point. .. read moreWell, If you can guide me to a place where your poetry started, I will work my way from that point. I certainly like to in best in people who’ve stopped by and given me their precious time, so I’d like to get to know who read my poem. Children’s stuff is good. Good starting point?
7 Years Ago
Hi. Sure. At your leisure. No pressure. My children's stuff is very light so maybe a good starting.. read moreHi. Sure. At your leisure. No pressure. My children's stuff is very light so maybe a good starting point. If you would like to read I would appreciate it.