love burns your
nerve-endings,
even if it's gone.
love's that
lingering thought;
love is lip-biting,
nail-biting,
the hankering,
the innuendos
that leave you smiling,
surrounded or alone.
it's charitable,
it's unquenchable -
that spot you can't
stop scratching,
till it's left a scar,
an indelible mark;
and so you give it
a name in a heart
with an arrow across.
love's the jealousy
of not being that 'her'
you put on your arm;
it's the non-perishable
good you must keep stocked
out of fear and paranoia
of running out.
I'm not a big fan of love poems becuz so many are written, all sounding similar . . . that said, your love poem here is banging on the originality meter! Right out of the gate, you present the ironies & contrasts: "even if it's gone" . . . plus you use and refer to cliché phrases/ideas with a fresh twist: "a name in a heart with an arrow across" -- one way to make some of your sentiments relatable, while the rest of your observations are unexpected & vividly imagined in words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
I always say that love poems are the entry-level writing we do to becoming writers, whether that’s.. read moreI always say that love poems are the entry-level writing we do to becoming writers, whether that’s just for a hobby or professionally. Love brought me to poetry, but poetry kept me there. I tried as you say some things to make it less cliched. I think I revisit it actually to see if I have any residual feelings. I assert if I can still write it, that means something is still lingering. Dunno. Don’t want to beat a dead horse either. Thanks, Margie
P.S. had to take a break here
6 Years Ago
I'm really glad you pointed out that first "love poem" comment, becuz it helps me have more understa.. read moreI'm really glad you pointed out that first "love poem" comment, becuz it helps me have more understanding about the way that happens!
Oh, thank you, Haley. We nail love every once in a while, I guess ;-) Thank you for reading and the .. read moreOh, thank you, Haley. We nail love every once in a while, I guess ;-) Thank you for reading and the compliment:)
I've been to the point where I have fallen in love with a boy, which I'm still in love with him, but I'm having to move on. It's really hard to do something that you don't want to do. I hope it doesn't tear me anymore before I move on.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
All in due time, my bard friend. Let your heart go at its pace; it will anyway. And you might just a.. read moreAll in due time, my bard friend. Let your heart go at its pace; it will anyway. And you might just actually thank your experience after (as strange as that sounds). Many times love takes us to a better place, a better person or situation. It was just a stepping stone for learning. (Sorry for the cliches, but...) Good luck. And thanks for the read. I really appreciate it.
I'm not a big fan of love poems becuz so many are written, all sounding similar . . . that said, your love poem here is banging on the originality meter! Right out of the gate, you present the ironies & contrasts: "even if it's gone" . . . plus you use and refer to cliché phrases/ideas with a fresh twist: "a name in a heart with an arrow across" -- one way to make some of your sentiments relatable, while the rest of your observations are unexpected & vividly imagined in words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
I always say that love poems are the entry-level writing we do to becoming writers, whether that’s.. read moreI always say that love poems are the entry-level writing we do to becoming writers, whether that’s just for a hobby or professionally. Love brought me to poetry, but poetry kept me there. I tried as you say some things to make it less cliched. I think I revisit it actually to see if I have any residual feelings. I assert if I can still write it, that means something is still lingering. Dunno. Don’t want to beat a dead horse either. Thanks, Margie
P.S. had to take a break here
6 Years Ago
I'm really glad you pointed out that first "love poem" comment, becuz it helps me have more understa.. read moreI'm really glad you pointed out that first "love poem" comment, becuz it helps me have more understanding about the way that happens!
Loved it... So deep..thnks for sharing Ur wonderful thoughts
Posted 6 Years Ago
0 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Govind Singh thank you for these lovely words. Are you new to Writer’s Cafe? What kind of poetry d.. read moreGovind Singh thank you for these lovely words. Are you new to Writer’s Cafe? What kind of poetry do you like?
I'm here for the last 2 months:)) ...I like ever writting written by heart.. however I write romance.. read moreI'm here for the last 2 months:)) ...I like ever writting written by heart.. however I write romance;)
6 Years Ago
Welcome to the group. Can you suggest a poem of yours for me to read?
6 Years Ago
Well there r only 4 poems of mine...I think u should read them all my frnd...thnk u..best wishes:)