Fork in the road

Poem I wrote Oct 8, 2016, mixing various fairy tales

I came upon a fork in the wood,
Where on either side the dense forest stood
Black evil spirits lurked about;
I felt their presence on my skin,
So spooked it was goosed
Right or left, I was forced to choose.
As my trepidation grew and grew,
I worried not of a bear getting through,
But the wolf that had stalked Little Red Riding Hood,
who I knew could,
Or the maligned witch who would
Make gingerbread of me, or a stew.
Maybe going right, I was his entering his hood,
And into the grip of his famished, sharpened tooth;
Or maybe going left, awaited me an oven or a boiling brew,
So in my dilemma, I turned on my heel,
And home I flew!
Where I found three bears had gotten
Their revenge on me,
Rummaged through my cupboard,
Broken stools, and eaten up all my gruel,
Leaving me to wash
Their sticky honey-coated bowls and spoons.

Reviews

[PaintedBirdy]

i like this but i think you need to unleash more of your own inner thoughts on this. fairy tales and fairy stories thrive on the thoughts that we have that we don't think we can say aloud; that's exactly what this needs. don't just repeat themes/schemas/etc of stories you've read, tell me the things that you're afraid to tell any other human being. that's what makes a good fairy story. s**t, i can probably find tolstoy quotes about this too, haha! anyway, good writing, you know that, but you also know you can do better; push the envelope, friend.

[Maxwell Ryder]

I guess all I wanted to convey at the time was how danger and forboding can really just end up as nothing more than dirty bowls and spoons.

I honestly don’t know what I wanted then, other than to weave some fairy tales, but I will consider changing tack.

This has been helpful. I like trying to change the bounds, always.

[PaintedBirdy]

sorry if i sounded like a dick. you're a good writer and this is a good tale. i used to be a teacher too and i would always get frustrated when talented writers didn't push their writing to the next level, which this poem made me feel. nothing personal. thanks for sharing it.

[Maxwell Ryder]

no worries. as a teacher, I inviting pushing the envelope and criticism. Why I’m here. We’re all tugging on the same rope to get better, not bitter 🙂 thank you! Believe me, it’s welcome.

[Maxwell Ryder]

*invite (and proofreading 😂)