Silent Screams

It just popped into my head. I'm not sure how to explain it.

 

Notes : The heart you hold in your hands…

 

Is it hard to feel?

 

Do we automatically block out what seems “scary”?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eyes darkening from polluted lies

am i blind to see this Love in front of me?

forgive me, i have been stabbed

by the mini existence of hope

barely hanging on by a shred, a thread

like a tooth falling barely dangling by deteriorating

gums off of a person who hasn’t had dental

care since the age of 12, when his parents actually

knew he existed and now because of that he is

addicted to drugs.

 

 

 

 

No use crying over spilt Love,

i’m dragging my useless body to your doorstep

i can’t reach to knock

everything else fades, all i hear is my own deep,

heavy, rough breathing

every time i let out and take in i feel that it is my last

my heart beating my own breathing so loud

make it stop.

 

 

 

 

 

I cuddle into the fetal position

the dirt and outside junk poking at my skin

the cold cement forcing me not to forget

where i lay pathetically, your door step.

i hear footsteps, i’m too weak to stand or even move

they are gentle steps, barely touching the floor

it’s as if she is floating to the door

those small beautiful feet with white socks

that have red dots at the tip so she knows they are hers,

i feel her at the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She looks through the peep hole

nothing

she attempts to open the door to assure that it

wasn’t some annoying little delinquent

“click”

it’s unlocked

i feel my own sweat drenched on my body

blood on my hands and face

the freezing air from the open door splashes

all over me, i shivered

my heart and my body were screaming to be held

“hold me!”

Silent Screams.

 

 

 

 

I guess i spoke my thoughts out loud

or she was on the same wavelength as me

she knelt down fast, nearly hitting the ground

everything was dimming white

all I saw was a beautiful figure,

an angel.

i knew it was her

i could smell her

she held me close and wiped my faced

i felt her heart beating, almost as fast as mine.

 

 

 

 

Warm salty droplets rolled down my face,

they weren’t my tears

i had cried all mine out

they were hers.

i felt like a broken feather, tangled in confusion,

that had been soaked in a lake

full of garbage

she lifted me like nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

She took me to the bathroom

and laid me down gently

my body was throbbing from the pain,

she turned the shower on too a cool soothing temperature

i heard the water hitting the walls

making an echo in the whole room.

i blacked out,

but I was still breathing

i felt my body being touched

by so many hands,

it was just her.

i felt suds all over.

 

 

 

She washed my fear away, i felt vulnerable.

She dried me, i was bare.

she put her own clothes on me piece by piece

i still couldn’t move

but the scent of her on me

made me feel some sort of boost

my body felt numb.

 

 

 

She held me close,

like a child holding a long lost teddy bear for comfort

i could feel her warm body heat

her gentle touch made my heart simmer down

i felt like an ice cube melting in her arms.

she lifted me up again, everything was spinning

we flew throughout those rooms

her words repeating in my mind

“its going to be ok”

my silent screams

whispered to her

“hold me, love me”

 

 

My life seems to be fueled by the love that she shares.

I fell asleep in her arms,

hardly breathing now,

soft, calm, peaceful breathing

i turned around looking at her face to face

i held her beautiful face in my hands

admiring her striking features

she was sleeping.

 

 

I fluttered my eyes open

Sat up slowly

drank the water that was in a coffee cup next to me

and said to myself

“it was all just a dream”

Author's Note

I decided to write in all lower case, so sorry if the punctuation isn't all that great.