Fight back

Fight back

A Poem by harman kour
"

many times v feel as if v cant confront any challenges, any difficulties... but v must rise above that r courageously fight back!

"
I was humming my tune
Somebody took it away
I was smiling
Somebody wiped it away
I was strolling around
Somebody stopped my way
I was strumming the strings of jollity
Somebody spoiled my play
With every step that I took
Abundance of sorrows it spray
I got caught in a cobweb
A heavy price I had to pay
Eventually I lost my spirit and my self
Life became arduous and grey
Yet my ardor for life 
It could not easily slay
I got myself together
Even when I saw everyone betray
There was a spark in me
I began to see the flowers sway
Tried to enjoy every moment
And kept all worries at bay
Even in the most tumultuous surges
I learnt to swim without dismay
So be strong and fight back
Be there forever and stay!

© 2010 harman kour


Author's Note

harman kour
i wasn't very happy with this so please tell me how i should improve this

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Reviews

I really enjoyed this I feel this way sometimes.
Wonderful rhyme scheme and flow.

Posted 14 Years Ago


it seems a bit broken but good use of words and it is a great poem all together

Posted 14 Years Ago


Extremely strong stream of Hope! I can exactly relate to it, as many of my poems too start with lesser hope and dismay, but gradually become stronger and stronger in Hope, and finally triumphs with a positive!

You really have a great gift in you. Thanks :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


I really liked the way the thoughts have been put. Good work...

Posted 14 Years Ago


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Dev
hmm.. technically I cant offer much advice.. (frankly I fumble on that many times too)Just the first four line could use a little work with the flow. They seem a little too abrupt other than that acc/ to me a nice read !! Good job !! :)

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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260 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 23, 2010
Last Updated on January 23, 2010

Author

harman kour
harman kour

jammu, j&k, India



About
its hard to describe me... i m a wave- calm n pleasing, a grain- worthless yet with a beauty of its own, i m silence i m depth... i m nothing yet something... more..

Writing