Gates of Life

A love to the very bitter end

Condolences received on a life that felt less than half alive

Where slowly the muted thuds of a broken heart began to falter

Would that it were a heart, whole and healthy, and love mutually tried

Yet even now his heartbeats come more painfully, the thuds come softer

The images seen in his final days offer him no solace or peace

As his bedside is empty save the ghosts of his tormented heart

Memories contaminating his final hours, slip inside his mind with ease

Would that he had known how this would turn out from the start

The clouds unleash their fury upon the desolate night

Summoning forth elements he had once hoped to conquer

Yet blinding lighting is not the only thing clouding his sight

The purity of a love just as enfeebling, yet love he had fostered

His life stutters, ragged gasps escape his lips, as his eyes dim to the room

Suddenly a figure sits, disturbing nothing as she witnesses the result of his strife

He opens his eyes a final time, his sight returned from the disruption of his doom

The youthful beauty of his love returns, and guides him beyond the gates of life

Author's Note

I'm not entirely sure how i feel about this one. I had trouble with the last stanza, and it shows, but I do plan on revising it a bit. Would appreciate some feedback.

Reviews

[Legacy]

Maulth,

As poets we learn from the greats, Shakespeare, Butler-Yates, Cummings, Carroll, Dickenson... the list goes on. As we learn, the evolution becomes clear - no longer vague as with the past.

Past words written become fosilized and we become immune to the classics (nearly immovable), we begin to write in great diversity and use our pens/keyboard as a method of healing. Contrary to past as a method of understanding... a method of lessons in life.

The romance never ceased, it merely has been hidden by much turmoil and grief. Yet here I sit in the words of one (whom appears too young to appreciate the such) grasping the concepts of early works of Great Minds in Poetic Verse.

To me, you are bringing back the art of classic... kudos.

Lost Art... Found!

You are absolutely correct when saying you seemed to force the last stanza, after its reconstruction to your satisfaction, would you consider entering this in the contest "Love" in Poetic Infusion Society? I think it worthy my friend.

Good Day,

Legacy