The Beginning of Hope: Into The Stange

Rain finally finds out a crazy secret that has been held from her....Too crazy even for her!!!

Mystery Man: (Standing right next to Rain on her side of the bed as she tries to wake Jason) Yeah...Not gonna happen hunny...

Rain: (Jumping back as she hears the voice and then sees the man standing over her) What the f**k?!?!

Mystery Man: (Dressed in long, tattered looking robes) You turned out to be quite the physical speciment my dear...

Rain: (Noticing she is half naked and quickly covering herself with a sheet) Oh gee thanks strange pervert freak that I don't know...(Grabbing Jason's .50 caliber desert eagle tucked under his pillow and pointing it at him) I think you should go back to whatever shelter you came from before you lose half your face..

Mystery Man: (Just smiling at her) I'm sorry..Let me introduce myself...My name is Prime and you may be shocked when you hear this...I'm your father Rain Hope Barnaby...

Rain: (Still shaking Jason trying to wake him as she keeps the gun nervously aimed at the man) Ya know what that really doesn't suprise me...My mother is in an insane asylum, I went from being a geneous to a fall down drunk..Not to mention the fact that my husband seems to be dead...So sure your my father...(He continues to just smile at her) Since your my old man thanks for the heads up on how fucked up you'd make my life by just walking out..Nice call buddy...

Prime: I have been looking down on you for the last twenty years Rain...Now is the time for you to know and understand the truth...(Rain just sarcastically shakes her head in agreement) Why I left you and your mother, why your mother was too weak to face the truth, and how hard she tried to convince herself I was right....

Rain: (Clicking the safety off of the gun) You know what that means buddy??? That means I have a very shaky hand and this gun can go off at any time now...

Prime: (Putting his hands behind his back with a smile) You always wondered why out of all the hobbies in the world, your mother picked collecting comic books...(Rain just stops shaking Jason and stares into Prime's eyes with shock in her face) I'm here to tell you there was a reason behind that weird obsession...

Rain: (Still pointing the gun at him) Ok a*****e, how did you know about that??? She tried her hardest to keep those a secret from even me...Maybe she just had some kinda psycho sexual attraction to superheroes..

Prime: (Laughing and shaking his head in disagreement) Your mother was trying to convince herself and understand the truth of what you and I are...

Rain: What the hell are you talking about???

Prime: The reason he hasn't woken up is simple...I have pullled you into the grey...(Rain just shrugs her shoulders in confusion and shakes her head) The grey is a dimention or some would call it a realm...Its like a dream...We are still roaming the physical world around us but only in spirit...

Rain: (Lowering the gun as she starts laughing) You really do need some type of meds don't ya....

Prime: You really are as witty as your mother was...Let me ask you a question my dear...Been having alot of sharp pains in your shoulder blade ares, kind of like somebody is stabbing you??

Rain: (Just rubbing her shoulder blade) I don't know...Maybe....Why???

Prime: (Just looking into her eyes with a smile) I'll save the lecture for tommorrow night then...

Rain: (Feeling her shoulder blades) Ok...ok...I'll bite...You have my....(Looking up and seeing he has vanished as Jason wakes up) attention???

Jason: (Kissing Rain's neck) Hey baby...who the hell you talking to??? Still having those pains??

Rain: (Looking around the room) Uummm....nobody and yes....(Turning to Jason and caressing his cheek) I'm sorry I woke you up...

Jason: (Running his hand through her hair) Thats ok hun...I plan on spending all day in this bed, relaxing, watching movies, and touching my wife in some very bad places...(Giving her a few pecks on the lips)

Rain: (Smiling at him as she kisses him back) That sounds like an excellent day to me...(Rain continues to look around the room trying to grasp if it was just a dream)

Jason: (Rubbing her back) Hey...(She turns to him quickly and smiles) are you sure your ok??

Rain: Yeah...I'm fine, bad dream is all, lets go back to bed...

(In the morning as the sun is just about to rise Jason gets a text on his phone...He quickly goes to grab it before the beeping wakes up Rain...He rubs his face and rolls his eyes in dissapointment as he looks at the text..)

Jason: (Quietly reaching for a special phone he has installed in the bedroom with a secure line to his commanders..Whispering) Jason Marsh...ID line alpha tango bravo richard....

Rain: (Opening her eyes with her back towards Jason, listening in) Well there goes our movie day...

Jason: (Just looking at her and rubbing her back with a smile) I know baby..I'm so sorry...(As his commander starts speaking) Oh...Yeah...I mean, yes sir...Sargeant Williams sir...(Dropping his head in frustration as he listens to his orders) Yes sir...I am already moving....(Rain just rolls over and smiles at him as he silently moves his mouth saying "I'm so sorry"..He gives her a quick kiss and then runs out of the bedroom..)

Rain: (Falling back in the bed with her arms spread, staring up at the ceiling) Yes sir...Oh I never see my husband sir?? Thats just peachy buddy...(Rain tucks herself back into bed and looks at the clock which reads four fifty in the morning and she slowly closes her eyes)

(As she sleeps Rain starts hearing voices crying out for help so crystal clear that they wake her up as she jumps up in bed in a cold sweat...Rubbing her eyes as she looks out the window at the rain smacking against the window...She looks at the clock and it reads ten fifty..)

Rain: (Grabbing a cigarette and lighting it as she shakes her head in disgust) Another beautiful day outside....God I love my name..

Author's Note

Hope finally finds out what happened to her father....or supposedly..

Reviews

[Ama May Cooper]

*speciment???
*genius
*areas

Phonetic would be used aswell in the situation i would expect, as it is used in most military organizations to avoid confusion down the air waves. The letters your looking are right minus the R which is Romeo in Phonetics.

Consider re-arranging one of these paragraphs it just reads a little unclear, and breathing is hard with its punctuation.
*(As she sleeps , Rain starts hearing voices crying out for help so crystal clear that they wake her up. She jumps out of bed in a cold sweat, rubbing her eyes as she looks out the window at the rain smacking agasint the window. She looks at the clock and it read ten fifty.)

I meant to ask you this before you frequently change tense within this story and im curious... what tense is it meant to be written in? You go from it being a first person , to third person. And also i previously thought this was a screen play, is that what it is meant to be, or is it meant to read like a book?

An exciting chapter, very exciting .. kinda wish i hadn't got that sneaky peak earlier. Suspense is brilliant used, i feel honestly draw in sitting on the edge of my seat as i read. You have a fantastic mind, this story itself is a very creative adn beautiful idea.
I can only wonder what happens. I feel your protagonists pain almost as if i am her so i can say that you have developed your chacters to unbelieveable impressive amounts and i am glad i got a chance to read them :)

[Matty Bosox]

WOW!! And I thought I was a good reviewer...You beat me up and down LoL!! You make for some very good points and some very good questions...First off...its not meant to be first or third person...I mix it up alot because where it is in screenplay form throughout most of the story I think if it were entirely screenplay it would just seem robotic...I love to give my characters life...I love to breathe through them and basically imagine I were them...Alot of times I will fall in love with certain characters I create...Which would sound absolutely bonkers if your not an intense writer LoL And remember all of this and all of my stories on here are just rough drafts...They need a ton of editing I know...But I am glad to hear from a reviewer of your caliber...It really means alot to me..

[Ama May Cooper]

Ah well with that in mind the effect is well recieved, you have nipped in bits of imagery amongst the work which are generally lacking in screen plays.. which as you say does give a very strong developemnt of character..

Haha dosent sound bonkers to me at all... im currently writing a novel about a boy who wakes up from a coma after an alien invasion and i think even though im in its 3rd chapter i feel very connected to him lol

Awww lol you are full of compliments. I thank you greatly for your apprication ... i love reading and reviewing people's work and its writers like you that obviously have great passion and talent that keep me doing so.

[Matty Bosox]

Well I thank you once again Ama May

[Gothic Girl]

woah! this turned out to be really great. there were a lot of questions in the story. i mean, you left me hanging in the end, Matt. i'm really curious now as to what Rain really is and that Prime too. aaaarghh! i wan to read more! yep! i will read more of this! woohoo! off to the next one! :))

[Matty Bosox]

LoL Thank you sooo much Goth....Some people just leave reviews after just skimming through something...But yours have been excellent....I appreciate it sooo much and I am humbled by your reviews...Thank you sooo much!!!

[Gothic Girl]

ah now i'm embarassed..

[Barbara Walker]

I am looking forward to reading more!

[Owlgirl]

Wow! That was surprising! Great job! I'm totally hooked with this book!

[Matty Bosox]

I'm glad you like it Owl....Keep me in that zone LoL

[Owlgirl]

Haha

[Dean Kuch®]

OK buddy, NOW you got my full attention! I am enjoying the vivid characters you've created thus far, both mysterious and potentially deadly. I am fairly new to the screen-play format, and have read very few stories written in such a way. But, I'm finding out that I like it. Plays out like a movie in the mind. I am anxious to find out just what this Prime character is really up to?
Suspenseful writing, my friend!

[Matty Bosox]

Prime is an excellent character....I don't wanna spoil anything but he is definitly my favorite writing for other than Tyler and Rain herself...Thanks Dean