Self Reflection Repurposed

A poem of dramatic thoughts before the plunge. (First listed on site 6.29.15)

Precipice solitary my gut-wrenching anxiety

Stance faltering and spirit perspiring

Telos blurred skewed and fish-eyed

My envisaged fate bears no refection

Confusion colliding and contorting my steps

Exotically unfamiliar my walk’s corrupted

I shutter to the floor and become disconnected

My intensified condition shepherds my guise to falter

Immediately prevalent this, a new pandemic of apathy

This epiphany colliding and chocking on my sympathies

Trepidation and feelings of hope in a state of apprehension

Corrupting my equilibrium and vision now blurring

God help me I don’t know where I am today 

Emptiness quickening in this void and beauty becomes memory

Omnipresent lethargy on this now repetitious holiday

My feelings dejected now immaculate manifesting

Lethargic my state of peaked indifference without end

Where are my allies as if I had a friend?

So depersonalized now that my hands begin to settle

Is my disconnection an affliction or a symptom?

Precipice still dim and I alone can hear

This muffled song has slowed and calmed

Blinking revelations echo in this the past and slow

No more ambiguity the haze is lifting and horizon rising

This place now completely foreign and heavy

Come and see what self reflection has made of me

A minor sword personally gifted with hopes of renewed releasing

Come and see if my courage has outweighed my pride

Look for a note and for a reason humbly forthcoming

Explanation barriers across the ether and glow and light

He did find peace at the end and without a soul he left us

Step on me and forget this dust below you, I leave an empty chair

Author's Note

"Telos" is a Greek word that does not translate into American English. It represents the purpose for any one thing to exist. My original version was so very different and I hated it as soon as it was born. I hacked and hacked, reorganized, disguarded, and eventually left it alone once I could stand to read it. Come and see the four horseman, empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more... that's all for tributes. (Revelation from Christian Bible and Les Miserables in case it wasn't clear)