We hear/read that twins are inevitably very close .. but for some it must be difficult to find personal space and place, so, yes, I can understand how you and your brother gradually moved out of each other's shadows. But, that birth, that baby .. a continuation of the line really has to be something to share and share strongly.
I've read this poem twice, once aloud .. and wonder if maybe it could be set in prose, some of the rhyming words are a little forced maybe. Nonetheless, it's a fine, fine piece of writing.
I'm making up for reviews I haven't returned. So you may get a few from me depending :). OK, you need to stop writing so well so Im not jealous lol ;P. Great poem!
We hear/read that twins are inevitably very close .. but for some it must be difficult to find personal space and place, so, yes, I can understand how you and your brother gradually moved out of each other's shadows. But, that birth, that baby .. a continuation of the line really has to be something to share and share strongly.
I've read this poem twice, once aloud .. and wonder if maybe it could be set in prose, some of the rhyming words are a little forced maybe. Nonetheless, it's a fine, fine piece of writing.
greatly written! tht does happen to some sisters and brothers.....
u out it in a way tht it was rabelious and tht u wanted to be so much like tht prson you saw.
Keep on!
-Anna Kay Patton
Fascinating, celebratory, and witty rumination on the psi bond between twins (I can't help wondering if you're Gemini ;-).
Being an only child (a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away), a stranger in a strange land, I'm always intrigued by healthy familial ties (by healthy, I mean not stupid ;-).
"Quid pro quo, my twin bro" -- those lines burrow infectiously into one's brain!
Beatiful poem! My best friends are twin sisters and I know how it goes, but overall having sibblings is a beutiful blessing. Liked the vocabulary you used and how it flows. The emotions were really strong too. Liked it very much, good job!!
I always imagined it would be difficult to have a twin...difficult, and yet an experience that is probably singularly enchanting as well. I sense the emotion in this piece, and I really enjoyed the masterful tone of your poetic voice; it was almost as though I was being led through the piece as I read, which I find fascinating. Bravo!
It's beautifully written. I love how you rhyme: "quid pro quo, my twin bro."
I really enjoyed the connection between the two brothers. I would be hard to be a twin & to have your own identity. I really loved it. Bravo.
Love it. I love the ending and how it all leads back to birth. I couldn't imagine being a twin. People expect you to be best friends and one in the same but I would expect it to be more of a constant competetition. The line:
"I stood back, admiring and proud you’d made the next step first"
Shows what type of person you are. It's sweet and sincere. You brought the reader on the journey between you and your brother in just a few stanzas and that in itself is hard to do. Having a brother I was able to relate. It took us until our twenties to finally get along. Look forward to reading more from you. BY the way I wouldn't change a thing.
i love this. the way it flows is superb. i am assuming you read your writing aloud? if so, yo u can tell. that word, caveat, and how well it fit in right in was great. your first lines had me hooked....a great write! i can't say anything i'd change!
British Boy, 28 years old. I'm on the corporate ladder by day, looking for a creative outlet (and constructive feedback) by night! Depending on my mood my words tend to swing from uplifting to depress.. more..