You are Beautiful

When I seen you for the first time,

Your beauty struck me hard,

I’ve never saw someone as beautiful as you,

You eyes sparkle in the night sky,

Your hair flows with the slender wind,

Your smile shows what you are all about,

You are more beautiful than a beach,

On a early summer morning,

When the sun is coming up from a short peaceful night,

You are,

Beautiful..... 

Reviews

[HoorayForUnderdog]

Hi Matt,
Your poem is a lovely tribute. You have a true romantic and poetic spirit. I do have a few editing notes for you to consider:

1. typo line 1, "seen" should be "saw"
2. typo line 3, "saw" should be "seen"
3. I would like to see you stretch your poetic wings a bit. When you say her smile shows what she is all about -- I would like a visual of that -- does her smile radiate warmth like fresh towels right out of the dryer, does it shimmer like moonlight on fresh snowfall, does it deceive like sunshine on a frigid February morning?

[.shalynn.009.]

"When I seen" Unless you were going for a specific type of spoken English, this should be "saw"

"I’ve never saw" This should be "seen"

"On a early summer morning" This should be "an early summer morning"

I feel like all of the poems I read from you are very simplistic, which is good, but I think you have the ability to go further. Try writing a longer poem, going further with your similes and metaphors. Your descriptions could go further, deeper. But as it is, this is still a lovely and heartfelt poem about a sweet crush. Good job.

[KalebG (Cry Faux)]

Amazing and wonderful, I love poems that describe the beauty of someone...It makes me wanna write forever and cry in a joyfulness of tears. I just love to tell any girl that she is beautiful cause it will make them happy, also it will make me happy.

Thank you for writing

[Matthew Ryan Hardy]

Again it didn't work out :(

[(Loveless)]

short sweet an to the point its a wonderful poem =)

[M.Babu]

Truly heartfelt and emotional. This is a beautiful poem in every sense and you're getting better at it. Good one

[Lindsey]

I enjoyed reading this it made me smile and feel very warm.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. When we are overtook by beauty. The face will always be a memory we will wish never to forget. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[TheFemininePad]

Nicely written Matt. It's a good poem, and it has something interesting imagery. Might I offer a few suggestions on how to improve your writing skills. Try breaking out of the mold of the usual writings of other people, and write from within your heart. Write about things that you find curious or unique. A writer should strive to always set himself apart from other people. That is one of the best suggestions that I can give you. You did good here, but perhaps thinking outside the box will really help you a lot.

[Kaygexx]

i absolutely love this. it's so nicely written, and just reading it makes me smile.