Waves in a Wishing Well

I haven't been in a tip-top mood, and this is just some jotted down metaphor work. I thought it up while walking one day. hope you like!

The waves in a wishing well

Drown secrets I long to tell

Like wind through the fallen trees

Steals words I may never speak

 

I'll never speak

You'll never know

You'll never know

 

The waves in a paper cup

Collapse before it can fill up

Thoughts stretched like a rubber band

All tattered and secondhand

 

About to break

You'll never know

You'll never know

 

The waves in a shapleless space

Pulling me into my place

Gravity gives just to take

The things that I tried to make

 

I'm never free

You'll never know

You'll never know

 

The waves in a wishing well

Spill all the secrets they tell

Dreams soaking the summer grass

Glisten like sunlight on glass

 

I'll never speak

You'll never know

You'll never know

Reviews

[Kristallo]

I really relate to the mood of this poem presently. It's pensive, almost cynical, and very real.

The waves in a shapeless space
Pulling me into my place
Gravity gives just to take
The things that I tried to make.

This really resonated in me, I can almost see it as a painting just waiting to be created. The sardonic, yearning rings between every line and makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you. :)

[J. Marc]

I indeed read with curiosity to the end of the poem to know what these little secrets were, without any satisfactory answer: the drama and the suspense is there, certainly. I did not quite feel this line “I'm never free” for it somehow differs from the other lines of the same construction, in sound and rhythm. But indeed they do not have to be alike. Great!

[Jessica M.]

"wind ... steals words"
That in itself is just loaded with depth.
"dreams.. glisten like sunlight on glass"
A beautiful line.
Very melancholy, and yet filled with a wish, a wish of what might be.
Nice write.