Knots in Stomach

I'm tired.

A knot

grows, tightens, can't explain

where it comes from or why

I'm feeling this,

like my insides chose to rebel

forcing themselves out through

the hole in my stomach or

up through my mouth,

spill onto the pavement and 

shatter just like the jar

but my brain just stays put,

'cause it doesn't work the way it should;

too slow to tell my heart to wait

and too weak to make these

pieces tessellate.

I guess wanted to know,
no,

I needed to know

is this knot here because of the 

choices I made? or didn't make?

And if it was, what if I did something different?

or if I did something better

will it stay or just break 

a little more with each and every single stupid day?

Another fragment lost in the pile.