The Inner Evil

The revolt of the inner me...

The jerk and jolt of the halting train, distracted me from my vacuum dream. The curtains of my eyes opened into the stygian darkness of my compartment. I looked around, envying my coupe-mates who were sleeping like logs.

I scanned the platform for a sip of coffee, but my eyes paused at the sleeping figure of a poor, homeless girl. Her clothes were aggressively ragged and dirty, but still much tidier than the platform s**t she slept on. I kept gazing at her face. She was shivering, maybe of the northern winter, or maybe of fright. I found my metals of sympathy being severely magnetized by her woe.

Moments later, I noticed a hefty policeman walking towards the same platform, his drunken legs aimed at the lone, helpless slum-girl. With no regret for his action, with no shame for his sacred uniform, he wasted no time in trying to strip the girl of her clothes. She got up with a shiver of fright and cried. The unwelcome music of her hapless cry pierced my ears and seemed to kill me.

The policeman made a second attempt, this time with more brute force to quench his macabre recreation. Blood heated my cheeks, I nearly drowned in a pool of fury.

I should somehow save this girl. I should get out of the train, run to the platform and save the girl.

Or should I? Should I welcome trouble? Why should I worry about this slum-girl? Who is she to me? Not my sister, not my mother, not my love. She is no one. She is Nothing.

But she is too young. Too young to be raped. Too young to die. Get out of the train and kill that thug.

No. I foresee wastage of money, wastage of time and even danger to life. The hefty policeman is too much for me. It is better for the girl to die alone than to kill me too.

It is her fate. The fate decided by God. Only he can save her.

Yes, only God can save her. But what if I am that God-appointed person? What if he wants me to save the girl?

No no. I am not God. I have no right to save her. Now see, the train has started moving. I have no time, no chance to save the girl. Forget her.

Maybe, I should jump out of the train and save the girl. I think I have a last chance.

No no. I shouldn't jump from a moving train. Forget her. This is her fate. I have no time to save her.

But But..     

The train moved far away from the screams of the tortured girl. I closed my eyes for a sleepless night. I closed my door against humanity...

 

     

Author's Note

The world is full of sympathy. I have given it, got it. But, empathy is something I am still searching for..... even within me. A story about human selfishness and one-dimensional style of living. About the fight between the good and bad in every man. The dominating thoughts of evil are penned in Bold letters. The dominated human thoughts penned in italics....

Edited by Shawn Reene, Bard Constantine

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

Oh my God...I could hear the girl screaming and crying for help in my ears. That was a powerful write that symbolized a universal and eternal struggle. Satan vs. God. Good vs. Evil. White vs. Black, courage vs. cowardice, and humanity vs. inhumanity. I enjoyed every part of it. Thank you so much fo sharing this. Keep writing.

-Wella.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

Hm... I see your delimma (in the story and in the writing). This is a genius concept, your descriptive style is amazing when you show it, but it does move along quite fast making me a little passive to the girls plight and his inner struggle. Love this, but we'll talk to better it.

[Rachel]

Variety application of story writing... A powerful story removing the dark face hidden within us... Wonderful method of inclu. good and evil inside the hero as 2 characters... terrific climax... Superb story...

[Robin]

fictional, but sadly , believable... and in that you have done well .

[Brad]

damn....boy, you know how to write some real and real creepy stuff, bravo

[Jonathan De Elvira]

hurm...if i was that guy i'll save tht girl...pfffft...not becuz i wanna be a hero or simply god appointed person...i just want to try and trouble myself...tht would meant something....

nice read...true to the world and realistic....keep writing...

[Ruth]

Fate accompanied by the desperation!
A great story hon, there is a lot of raw power to this and shows a side that humans try to disguise!
Great work
xx

[nono]

Hmm nice story and it held together nicely that's how you write a story me and my stories let's see I have I think 3, but none of those compare to this. Nicely done!

[Dinesh Sairam]

The story get only better as it closes. Putting me in the author's place, I can almost feel the desperation and guiltiness. But this really must be improved. A touch-up. Like, you can describe the situations inside the train or even about the slum girl more. It all seems too short. A brilliant attempt, a not-so-perfect story :) Keep writing.