She's Gone

I woke up at 5am, I couldn't fall back asleep. My phone had over 100 messages from Kevin, telling me he's sorry and that he want's be back. Well it's a little to late there buddy, so f**k you. *sigh* I can't sleep f**k, this always happens to me. I either stay up until 5, or I wake up at 5 and I can't sleep. I don't really know why, maybe I have insomnia? I don't know, but I don't want to take sleeping pills, not after what happened to my dad. I can hear Whitney, she's up already? Whatever, maybe I should go take a long a*s shower then get ready. I honestly don't feel like going to school today, not after everything that's happened. I just want to stay in my room all day and do nothing, not even breathe. Oh my god, I'm starting to get depressed, over Kevin. Why Hailie, why? He's a total a*****e, just push all these feelings aside. Forget him, you'll find someone better, hopefully. 

It's now 7, the power went out because of a big storm. We have a generator for the whole house, so it's okay for us. But there's loud winds and lots of rain, even some thunder and lightning. Whitney is off in here room, probably crying because she's scared. My dad's downstairs trying to finish writing songs for his album, and Alaina's sleeping in her room. I haven't been talking to her lately, she's friends with that stupid super s**t that was f*****g Kevin. I still can't fall asleep, and I'm not hungry so I don't feel like going downstairs to get breakfast, so I really don't know what to do.

~~

I fell asleep to the sound of the rain, and woke up around 12. I did some school work until 1, and then I logged onto facebook. My profile picture is me and my best friend Maria. I'm close to Sarah too, but I've known Maria ever since I was a little girl. Those are the only two who know who I actually am, they know every little thing about me. Anyways, I had a few notifications and a message, from Kevin. F**k, I never delete him yet, or changed my relationship status, I guess I should do that right now. 

After I did all that I checked my notifications, just people liking my pictures. Nothing special or anything. I then went on to Twitter, I don't have one, but I like to see what my favorite celebrities are tweeting about. Nothing really that interesting, so I just closed my laptop. What to do now?

I decided to go for a walk, even though it's raining, I like the rain. I took my iPod and put on Mockingbird. I really do like that song, in case you couldn't already tell. I didn't tell my dad I was leaving, he was sleeping on the couch anyways so I didn't want to bother him. I just kinda left, and hoped nothing bad would happen. I was wrong. 

~~ 

I'm currently sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, I'm the only one in here. I don't want to call her parents, or Sarah, or even my parents. I just want to sit here and cry and hope that she's okay. You're probably a bit confused, well after about 10 minutes of walking I seen Maria with her abusive boyfriend. I just continued walking and hoped they didn't notice me, then they we're crossing the street when a car ran a red light. Instead of pushing her out of the way, her boyfriend pushed her in the way so he wouldn't get hit. I seen it all, he then ran the other direction and the car kept driving. Was this planned? I don't really know, but all I know is that I just seen my best friend get hit by a car, and possibly killed. I really didn't know what to do, I was about 50 feet away from her and we we're the only ones on the street. I then started running towards her, splashing in all the puddles around me. She was just laying there, on the cold wet ground, rain drops hitting her and blood puddles forming around her. I didn't even have my cell phone with me, so I reached in her pocket and grabbed hers. I called 911 and told them what just happened, and I was holding Maria's hand. I was in tears and she was out cold, I kept yelling at her, telling her to wake up and not die on me. The ambulance finally came after a few minutes, and I was covered in her blood. They took her on a stretcher and told me to come with them, so I did, I wasn't gonna leave her anyways. So I sat in the back of the ambulance with her and held her hand, still crying. They we're hooking her up to all these machines, trying to save her. She was still alive, but she was running out of time. When we got to the hospital she was rushed into a room, and I tried running after them but I was pushed into the waiting room. So here I am, sitting here crying, praying she lives. 

Finally a doctor came out of the room, with blood on his gloves. 

"Is she okay!?" I jumped up as soon as I noticed him. 

"Well, I don't really know how to tell you this.." no, please don't say what I think you're gonna say. 

".. She's gone." Oh my god, I collapsed right there and started crying. I stood up and threw the chairs to the other side of the room. Why didn't I call 911 earlier? Why didn't I stop them from dating each other? Why wasn't it me who got hit instead of her? SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO DIE. A few nurses had to come and hold me down so I would stop freaking out and throwing things. The doctor just left me in the room.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY HARDER!? WHY. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HER!? THAT'S YOUR F*****G JOB YOU STUPID IDIOT!" I was pretty much yelling at no one now, he was gone into the room Maria was in. 

~~

I couldn't go into her room, I was aloud, but I just couldn't see my best friend dead. I called her family after I calmed down a bit, and then I called my dad. I told him to just get to the hospital, and I was in tears, so he kinda had an idea. No one arrived yet, I was still sitting alone crying in the destroyed waiting room. Someone finally walked into the room, it was my dad. He came running to me and hugged me as hard as he could. I broke down once again, he already knew.
"Which one?" I heard him say, in a soft whisper.

"M-M-Ma-r-ria" I couldn't even talk right, I was crying to hard. 

Her family soon walked in and they went straight to the front desk, once they found out they all started crying. I felt so sorry for them, even though I knew exactly how it felt to lose someone close to you.

Proof. 

Now Maria, but I was so young when Proof died, I didn't really know how to handle it all, but now I know how my dad felt.