Tale of obsession

this was one of my first pieces , i wrote when i started college a few years ago . i am posting it in rough form so that i can get improvements and feedback from you in its truest form

Tale of Obession

If I said I didn’t love her then I would be lyin
Her sweet touch, smell evens words send me flyin
Without her I swear that my soul is dying
Trapped in a maze I swear my hear is cryin
Im in a comatose state you can see it in my eyes
Like Mrs. Keys said lets go back in time
When the days were sweet and the nights were bolder
Because now my days are meek and my nights grow colder
My knees grow weak every time I hold her
With another chance I would treat her like a man suppose ta
But I lost my chance its time for the other to be choosen
So like an ice box indeed my heart is frozen
Its like a bad dream but I shall never be awoken.

Breathing becomes virtually nonexistent, as now all you can hear is the violent beating of your heart that reverberates through every inch of your soulless body. Your conscience cries out to you but you pretend as if it is no more than the train rumbling behind you, or the frantic on lookers that stare in awe in fear of what might happen. Then Darkness….. Sweat….. Breathing is no longer an autonomic device but more of a symbol of fear as your eyes open to stare about the desolate walls of your room. The clock reads 2:45; a sigh is let out because your string of sleepless nights has yet to subside. But it isn’t the dream that is the symbol of your demons; it’s the fact that it’s the same one night after night. And with each passing evening it unveils no new secrets, no new keys to doors that should be unlocked to help you shake this feeling, no new ending. The sad part is you cannot leave it in the deep stages of REM sleep where it belongs; it is carried over to your realm of consciousness. The bags under your eyes reveal nothing but a mere shell of a man who yearns to be nothing but his former self before the dreams took everything from him. Water cannot wash away the stain of emotion upon his rapidly aging skin, the feeling of remorse as he can’t come to terms on why she left him, it is a melancholic state to look in the mirror and not recognize him.

The Clock Reads 7:45 you set out on your morning journey, pop in the classic two dope boys in the Cadillac by outkast, and you ride. Trying to shake the feeling, trying to jus hinder the emotion you feel from the lack of sleep and the stress that the dreams and your situation bring upon you. This may be the only time you feel that jovial feeling that you once held so dear before it took multiple drags from a black and mild to keep your hands from shaking noticeably. But today is a rather good day, opposed to the ones where not even the deafening sounds of two 15s could drown out the memories of the darkness you experience during your reoccurring dreams, so you ride no work today; it’s just a day to blow smoke in the wind riding through the city without a care in the world, try and get back to pro form, try and shake the unshakeable feeling that you feel when you wake up and dread when you go to sleep. For fear of the nightmares it causes But jus ride, riding takes the pain away, Then there it was , better yet there she was ; more of a terrible sight than a blessing even though you had never seen her before , in the conscious mind at least. No choice but to stop no choice but to inquire this is the same girl I see every time I close my eyes. It starts with a subtle hello, WATS good, was ya name. She replies my name is Kayla and in your dreams her names the same. So you play your game she plays her part she takes your name you take her card. She had you at hello she already took your heart. You couldn’t blame yourself because shawty was a dime. 5’5 caramel complexion with mean thick thighs, but who knew the girl of your dreams would be the girl of your demise

Days go by, more sleepless nights; she’s been plaguing your dreams you’re just barely getting by. So you muster up the courage and you pick up the phone, you dial the number, wait helplessly for an answer. She picks up, you hang up then call again seconds after. Sorry my phone got disconnected, what’s up how you been, and see replies I’m just chilling its good to hear from you. Now the first awkward moments have passed and you chit chat for a while, tell a joke or too and get that clever grin when smiles, so then you ask the question, what’s with you and the dudes, she says I got a man but you got me so confused and you don’t know how to take it seems like this time has been wasted but not on the girl of your dreams our meeting had to be fate I’m convinced. So you go with it she suggests dinner and a movie, she’ll be free on Tuesday…. Her face still haunts your dreams so you hope this meeting will bring some answers, Tuesday comes you pull out front, as soon as she steps outside your stunned, you play sweet lady , cause you know that will turn her on. She steps into the vehicle and with a sultry kiss on the cheek she sends chills down your spine, your nightmares turn to fantasy but only for a limited time. She’s everything you ever wanted but the images in your head still ring, still make you skeptical, it’s too good to be true, this can’t be happening, the girl I saw in my sleep is now laying next to me . Clock reads 2:45 same time, different feeling, different face when you look in the mirror, no longer trying to wash off the emotion but trying to conceal the smirk when thinking bout the events of this evening from leaving the movie to drinks at the crib, to twenty minutes later you were twisting her ribs, no trouble going back to sleep tonight might be the best night of my life……
You wake up there’s a note on the pillow its says hey jarett, you was deep asleep I aint want to wake you, I hope I can see you later…. So then its chill mode, laid up in the cut thinking about watch you just did. They day goes on , seems like forever you haven’t heard from her all day its killing you , you don’t know what to do , but you can’t call what if she’s with her man, what if this is just a one night thing you’re stuck waiting. Days go by, and then more sleepless nights, how does one night with her seem like the first hit of a crack pipe, you just can’t put her down. Your feening, you stressing, then it happens you get the call. Her name pops up big on ya cell phone and the weight of the world is lifted off ya shoulders. You pick up not trying to sound to excited . whats the deal are the words you utter, she’s at her mans house doin laundry but she cant shake the feeling she feels. The way her heart skips a beat when your near , the sweet sound of ya voice when she hears. She says she was confused and stress to the point of tears, you say don’t stress over me I’ll be here it hurts as much to say as it is for her to hear. And like that you know this girl is what you been waiting for , looking and searching , fighting and yearning, and she was keeping you awake at night what a strange turn of events. You hang up the phone feeling refreshed but you don’t know why , She the first thing you think of when you wake, and the last when you close your eyes… that’s every day so to tonights another sleepless night.

Author's Note

all criticism is greatly appreciated good or bad.