Gone

It's a work in progress but I'm open to any critcism so I understand where I might need some work. Police question a young girl who has been kidnapped by a troubled man.

"We had just moved across the street from an elementary school. It seems to be a great neighborhood to raise a family." I repeat as Officer Singh hands me a glass of water.

Me: "Nothing had was supposed to happen. I suppose that's what everyone says.."

I take a small sip and gently place the glass back on the metal table. A light from above shines bright, it makes me squint. Singhs partner presses play on tape recorder. What do I say? The man is, I mean was, evil. Case closed.

Officer Singh: "I know this could be hard, but we need to know the details. What happened, Laila?"

Me: .....

Singh: "Staying silent won't solve this case. We'll start again in the morning."

He gives me permission to stand, the heavy chair squeals back. On one side of the room is a one-way mirror. I watch myself rise and walk over to it without making another sound. My skin is marked with the scars from the tragedy, memories sketch themselves on the back of my eyelids. They must think I'm insane; they - the people behind the mirror. Watching my every move, listening to everything I say.

Author's Note

I know it's far from being done, but any ideas or criticism is greatly appreciated. I have so many thoughts rushing threw my mind, I just need to sit down and plan. Probably because I can relate to this story.

Reviews

[TBPopper]

I actually really like the Me: Officer Singh:, as opposed to writing it the way I've seen it a hundred times before. I like that last paragraph the most, the short bursts of thought and action.

It's simple, it's short, but it appealed to something in me that made me think 'Oh, it ended. I wish there were more'.

Also, you misspelled elementary in your first sentence. Oh, and on that blank line where the protagonist isn't speaking, I'd suggest putting something there, maybe just a "...", it feels bare to me.

Anyway, not sure if that's the sort of review you're looking for, but it's the one I gave. I'll keep an eye out for more of this.

[Massey]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.