When you're not here

The things I've noticed around the house, now that you're not here.

When you're not here

The vegetables in the fridge get eaten much slower

The dog gets excited when we say your name

And whines when she realizes you're not home to play

I don't laugh as often

Or go out as much

The house is quieter than before

I miss the sound of you strumming your guitar in your room

And I miss hearing you sing while you get a snack

I don't get to see you blowing smoke rings 

Or see your impish smile

You're not here

But I wish you were

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think! I want to improve my writing

Reviews

[_rabbitofhabit (1word)]

Very nice. Simplistic but tackles a universal theme. I don’t really have any criticism but if I were to act as an editor, I’d say to play around with dividing the poem into different sections, each touching on a particular subject or emotion. And perhaps make it rhyme.

[Moose The Lesser]

Nice poem. It's quiet, unassuming, relatable on almost any level, and honest. I can't critique very well, I'm an actor, not a writer, but I'd love to hear more of you. If I had to be critical, the line about dogs feels a little off. I felt quite sad from the first two lines, but I can't be sad when I'm thinking of happy dogs. The dogs can still be happy, but I would make it clear that they are anticipating meeting the lost person.

[Marztothemoon]

Thank you so much for your review! Sorry it took me so long to see it! I see your point about the dog. I'll see what I can come up with to improve that line. Again, thank you so much! I'm so happy you liked it!