Defeated

Death was a-lingering nearby 

Impatient for its upcoming prey

Somebody's time was at an end

A halt to their life

Never to be seen again

Stalked by this dreaded beast

The race was over

Enshrouded by an icy hot breeze

Death had called out their name

Every atom tormented by piercing pain

It relished every moment

As they fell to the floor

Literally left for dead

Perhaps never to be found

Like a lamb to the slaughter

Death was victorious once again.

Reviews

[CrimsonBlaze]

Dark and mystic. I like it. Nice use of rhyming. I dont know if it was me, but I could totallu sense it. Sorry for the long wait...spring break got my schedule filled..death cant be dodged upon. Thats what you clearly explained-very well and to the fullest of expectations.

[Geraldine]

It flowed smoothly and I love the darkness in there.

[Honey54]

GREAAT FLOW...LOVE THE DARKNESS OF IT...BRINGS CHILLS..GREAT PIECE MAMA!

[M]

It reads in a way that makes one feel powerless. I find the tone to be ambiguous though. It's melancholy but some lines are playful while others are somber.

[luna11]

Dark poem, but I really like it.
I like how death is the person/creature who killed the victim in this poem.
Well written :)
xx

[Forest Green]

It is pretty much impossible to avoid. Catastrophic in its effect on this world, nevertheless it isn't the absolute..life continues.

Your poem gives one pause to consider...

[Nobody.]

Death is tough, but you took it by the horns and gave it a good warrior shake.

Felt it.

[MOON]

The soul never dies , I hope .

[The White Wolf]

Death is always a difficult subject to write about. I find it very interesting that you chose not to say whether your subject matter was murder or that "death" was itself the killer....I like that. Overall, a very powerful read. Nice work.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

Much too dark for me, just reminds me of my daughter's murder by a real life monster.