Poignant, sad and uplifting at the same time... You express yourself elegantly. Your terms are clear and your meanings crisp. You paint a picture with your words that is easily visible and easy to follow. You berate with one hand and reward with the other; like a slap followed by a kiss... Excellent form. The only thing you need to work on is your technical form. Example: Do something,will you? Correction: Do something; will you?
This is not a criticism, merely an observation.
All of us must live and grow or we would not be here. This is truly a heartfelt and beautiful work.
I look forward to reading more of your works. wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Ohh!!what a wonderful review...did put a smile on my face...thank you so much...I am going to edit t.. read moreOhh!!what a wonderful review...did put a smile on my face...thank you so much...I am going to edit that right now...thank you:-)
I believe in the power of positive thinking so keep those vibes flowing out into the universe and I'm quite certain cuspids arrow will find its way to your heart :) love this poem Mary
Mary Hi. I found this very engaging. It's a nice spin on looking for someone special. As per my habit, would you mind if I offered some observations for potential improvement ...
- you start by addressing Cupid as 'you' then switch to 'he' then back to 'you' (I'm assuming that Cupid is the one who is bored by the writer's singleness - who else?)
- I doubt it's laziness; more likely selectivity!!! And the writer doesn't like Cupid's selectivity
- I like the alliteration of honeyed haiku and sweet sonnet
- Valentines comes and goes .... this could be taken 2 ways .. you could mean Valentine's (apostrophe) Day comes and goes ... or you could mean that possible men come and go, i.e. pass by the writer rather than coming within reach (I read it this way first time because of the missing apostrophe)
Hope these observations help. You continue to be one of my 'go to' writers!
Regards
Nigel
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much..I do agree with your observation and I will definately make the changes..I apprec.. read moreThank you so much..I do agree with your observation and I will definately make the changes..I appreciate your help:-)
Poignant, sad and uplifting at the same time... You express yourself elegantly. Your terms are clear and your meanings crisp. You paint a picture with your words that is easily visible and easy to follow. You berate with one hand and reward with the other; like a slap followed by a kiss... Excellent form. The only thing you need to work on is your technical form. Example: Do something,will you? Correction: Do something; will you?
This is not a criticism, merely an observation.
All of us must live and grow or we would not be here. This is truly a heartfelt and beautiful work.
I look forward to reading more of your works. wolf ,'', ^@@^ ,'',
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Ohh!!what a wonderful review...did put a smile on my face...thank you so much...I am going to edit t.. read moreOhh!!what a wonderful review...did put a smile on my face...thank you so much...I am going to edit that right now...thank you:-)
Oh..thank you...well,if he is there then I really haven't noticed him like you said...but he is not .. read moreOh..thank you...well,if he is there then I really haven't noticed him like you said...but he is not there
8 Years Ago
Give that Cupid a bit of a kick on the backside, and I am sure that someone will come out of the sid.. read moreGive that Cupid a bit of a kick on the backside, and I am sure that someone will come out of the sidelines!
8 Years Ago
I will definitely do that then wait and see what he does
I can relate to your work, sounds like a cry for help and the disdain for loneliness. I bet cupid is now combing the earth trying to find you someone. Lovely piece