"1 Corinthians 7:6-9. I say this as a concession,not as a command,But i wish everyone were single,just as i am. But God gives the same gift of marriage and to others the gift of singleness. So i say to those who arent married and to widows-its better to stay unmarried,just as i am. But if they can not control themselves,they should go ahead and marry. Its better to marry than to burn with lust"
His voice rang out
And he preached
The sermon hitting straight home like a bullet
The congregation cheered
For it was perfectly delivered
He stood at the pulpit
An epitome of righteousness
He wore his sacred robe with grace
Yet he oozed wickedness
But boy! could he play the piano
He mastered every chord
And every night he indulged in her beauty
In the house of the Lord
Just like tonight...
He was slowly gliding his hand
As he explored her delectable voluptous body
Gently sucking the C key at the center of the keyboard
Caressing the lush brazenly exposed A and B keys just like the exquisite pianist that he was
The piano wept with pleasure
Her mellifluous voice sounding like a Spanish guitar
As he sent her to a melodic climax
Alas! Man of God
You play that instument
With as much devotion as you worship the Lord
Paul said the Lord gives either the gift of marriage or singleness
You must be multi-talented
Why! Man of God
You need to pray
That Jesus may save you from yourself
You need to sway
To the rhythm of Grace
My goodness, Mary. This is very sensual and very well written. There are religious themes and undercurrents here where I feel ill-equipped to comment. But I will at least give you a couple of thoughts
- the line about oozed wickedness appears at an interesting point, i.e. it comes before we have moved away from the pulpit, and thus suggests that the congregation could or might detect it. I have no idea whether or not that's what you intended
- I find it interesting that you avoid, my guess is deliberately, any mention at all, anywhere in the poem, of whether he gets any pleasure from playing the piano. It's all him giving pleasure to the piano; he sent her (not even 'brought' her) to climax. There is absolutely nothing about any pleasure he may have, or any guilt, or anything. He comes across more as a cold manipulator - again, this may be my interpretation, or perhaps it's your purpose to show that his skill, whether at the piano or from the pulpit, is manipulation. (This would place the line 'with as much devotion as you worship the Lord' in a different light).
May I just mention that it should be 'caressing'; and why does the title refer to more than one piano?
I really liked this poem, Mary, and will be thinking about it for quite some time.
Regards
Nigel
yes you are right..he is a manipulative priest in both circumstances..and that line where i sat he o.. read moreyes you are right..he is a manipulative priest in both circumstances..and that line where i sat he oozed wickedness is exactly the way you explained it..afew people would actually see that he is not who he seems to be and the title i say "pianos" because he had different pianos that he could devour every night.thank you very much for the review and your honesty...
8 Years Ago
The more I read it, the more I see what a clever well crafted poem it is, especially with all the ir.. read moreThe more I read it, the more I see what a clever well crafted poem it is, especially with all the irony at the end.
Your metaphoric theme was so well written , if it wasn't for the passage of Corinthians in the beginning I may have missed it. But than again I can be dense as a brick sometimes (g). You have skill fully outed what is sadly a common tale with class and endearment. It was a poignant read to say the least. Thank you
bill
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Thank you sir,for taking your time to read my work
The beginning left me speechless. You really know how to combine a meaningful story with the poem and with such deep spiritual meaning that I think won't be easy for me.
I just noticed this.
'...But if they can not control themselves,they should go ahead and marry. Its better to marry than to burn with lust" Should be '...But if they CANNOT control themselves,they should go ahead and marry. Its better to marry than to burn with lust"
Just a minute detail. Anyway, great poem. It's a combination of passion and devotion. Thanks for sharing this one! :) Very nice. Keep on writing! :)
My goodness, Mary. This is very sensual and very well written. There are religious themes and undercurrents here where I feel ill-equipped to comment. But I will at least give you a couple of thoughts
- the line about oozed wickedness appears at an interesting point, i.e. it comes before we have moved away from the pulpit, and thus suggests that the congregation could or might detect it. I have no idea whether or not that's what you intended
- I find it interesting that you avoid, my guess is deliberately, any mention at all, anywhere in the poem, of whether he gets any pleasure from playing the piano. It's all him giving pleasure to the piano; he sent her (not even 'brought' her) to climax. There is absolutely nothing about any pleasure he may have, or any guilt, or anything. He comes across more as a cold manipulator - again, this may be my interpretation, or perhaps it's your purpose to show that his skill, whether at the piano or from the pulpit, is manipulation. (This would place the line 'with as much devotion as you worship the Lord' in a different light).
May I just mention that it should be 'caressing'; and why does the title refer to more than one piano?
I really liked this poem, Mary, and will be thinking about it for quite some time.
Regards
Nigel
yes you are right..he is a manipulative priest in both circumstances..and that line where i sat he o.. read moreyes you are right..he is a manipulative priest in both circumstances..and that line where i sat he oozed wickedness is exactly the way you explained it..afew people would actually see that he is not who he seems to be and the title i say "pianos" because he had different pianos that he could devour every night.thank you very much for the review and your honesty...
8 Years Ago
The more I read it, the more I see what a clever well crafted poem it is, especially with all the ir.. read moreThe more I read it, the more I see what a clever well crafted poem it is, especially with all the irony at the end.
The metaphors that you use are wonderful. The comparison of the piano to a woman is so sensuous that it made the hypocrisy seem almost forgivable.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
I intended to bring out the hypocrisy in the church which is totally wrong ..but i also intended to .. read moreI intended to bring out the hypocrisy in the church which is totally wrong ..but i also intended to bring out the forgiving nature of Christ..His grace is all sufficient and he can forgive us if we live by grace
I like your choice of words and it really creates a strong imagery. Am I right that you impersonate the piano when you write she? I think it's great if you do. I think I got really into the line "But boy! could he play the piano'. Nice write.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
thank you...yes i do impersonate the piano..it symbolises a woman