Until Jacob

I wrote this poem when my firstborn's firstborn was stillborn.

Until Jacob was conceived, I thought I would be a gray-haired, wrinkled old woman before I became a Gramary.

Until Jacob whispered to my heart, I'd never known what a Gramary could mean.

Until Jacob was conceived, I thought grandmothers were "other, old women.”

Until Jacob's conception, I couldn't appreciate how young my own mother was when my sister made her a Granny at only 45.

 

Until Jacob, anencephely was a long word used by other people.

Until Jacob, my love was limited.

Until Jacob, I could not understand other women who claimed that being grandmother was the best thing in their lives.

 

Until Jacob was stillborn, I had never known the depths of despair.

Until Jacob's stillbirth, I've never experienced such a deep pain.

Until Jacob, I did not know I could love one with such intensity and fierceness.

 

Until Jacob introduced me, I did not know my step-grandchildren.

Until Jacob showed me his brother and sister, I was afraid to claim them as my own.

Until Jacob told me it was okay, I felt something terribly wrong with the world.

 

Until Jacob, my heart wasn't filled with love.

Until Jacob whispered to my heart, my tears could not flow

 

Now, Jacob has helped release my grief and my tears can wash the pain away.

 

Until Jacob, I never knew such grief!

 

Now, Jacob has touched my heart and shown me the strength of his love.

Now, Jacob has returned to his home in Heaven.

Now, Jacob is working as an Angel and he knows how much we all want him with us.

 

Now, Jacob sees how much we all love him.

Now, Jacob is a special Angel for each of us.

Now, Jacob knows that we each have a special job to do before we can come visit him.

Now, Jacob knows that we can still speak with him in our hearts and in our minds.

Now Jacob is perfect. 

Jacob is blessed. 

Jacob has never felt pain.

His short life on earth was surrounded by the love of his mother's womb.

Reviews

[Ovi-Odiete]

I guess this is your first poem here....
You are really welcomed to Writers Cafe.....
Enjoy your stay here...

This poem is intense and unique, I could feel the pain and sorrow from reading through the lines....

A very outstanding piece....
It already won an award in my contest. and considering you are new here....... Emergency Poetry.....

You are amazing.....

[Mary Brotherton]

Thank you. It is my first poem here. I'm still learning about the Cafe and finding my way around. I appreciate the feedback.

[Ovi-Odiete]

My pleasure....

Just keep reading, writing, reviewing, commenting and participating in contests.... by so doing, you will grow.....