At ease with the protocols of his image

Glossy with death,
He loses interest in the traffic ticket world.
His life
Is a hand of aces,
All he needs.
Allies? Unnecessary.
All his pawns are queens.
In the perfect circle of his recombinant square
The discipline of charity is lost.
His shadow is a monument
To self-esteem.
Death
Has bloated his self-importance beyond the stars.
He is Mr Cherry Blossom,
Mr Sayonara,
Mr Big Goodbye,
Indulged by the patent drama of his death.
The human race is discards,
His no concern.Glossy with death,
He loses interest in the traffic ticket world.
His life
Is a hand of aces,
All he needs.
Allies? Unnecessary.
All his pawns are queens.
In the perfect circle of his recombinant square
The discipline of charity is lost.
His shadow is a monument
To self-esteem.
Death
Has bloated his self-importance beyond the stars.
He is Mr Cherry Blossom,
Mr Sayonara,
Mr Big Goodbye,
Indulged by the patent drama of his death.
The human race is discards,
His no concern.
In the next whiskey
Is all the dance he needs:
A modest compensation
At ease with the protocols of his image.
He is a monster,
If you like,
Or he is human.
Take your pick.
In the next whiskey
Is all the dance he needs:
A modest compensation
At ease with the protocols of his image.
He is a monster,
If you like,
Or he is human.
Take your pick.

Reviews

[Dindella]

This is extremely beautiful and sounds like I'd make a wonderful song. Sorry it took me so long to get to reviewing it, I've been busy.

[Somenath Nag]

Excellently written.... Keep it up amigo....

[Anne Timmins]

Very good, and thought-provoking.

[Matching Socks]

Love the repetition in this piece, really drives it home.
I'm not gonna pick right now though. :-)

[Wandering Minstrel]

This is a vivid and quite colourful write full of intriguing imagery!!

[Blake Fodor]

This is done with excellence and it gives the reader a very clear idea of what the writer dreams of! Easy flow and smooth rhythm-enjoyed reading.

[Rene Velez]

Hi Mary...missed you more... Glad to see you here, love the write, strong lines written vividly, well done.

[Sincerely Magazine]

This is a very thought provoking piece, you capture the realism of both sides to this creature, this monster human. One suggestion would be to add in stanza breaks so that the reader is presented with smaller bits at a time and does not get overwhelmed when first looking at the poem before them. Also perhaps adding a period after the 'Mr's would give those a bit more bold emphasis. Other than that it is quite elegant and rich with your theme showing through the whole way.

Kieran Rundle