Chapter 2- Reunited

“Max" I heard my name be called softly by someone’s voice "Max" But I'm too lazy to even think of a response “Maxwell!” I jolted up “Dad?” “We’re here” I looked around the once familiar farmland. Land that I remember playing on for years with my best friends. Land that I remember getting in trouble in, land that I hold close memories to me, land that saved me from my parents fights “Nice” I got out the car and was greeted by the fresh air. It’s been 3 ½ years since I’ve even stepped foot on my old property, I heard dad get out the car “Ready to see your old friends?” I smiled “Yeah” Derek and Sydney were only 2 miles away from us and they had bikes so it never took them to long for them to get here “Well you're gonna have to wait till tomorrow, unless you luck out and Bob and Tim come over” I smiled “Alrighty” After I got my childhood room updated, I sat on my newly replaced sheets and looked around my room. The classic navy blue walls surrounding me, Canadian flag on my right wall above my desk, my old dark oak dresser on the left of my bed, and my T.V that I remember watching all seasons of South Park behind dad's back and getting in trouble for that. Haha, it was worth the spanking “Max, you got company” I looked up from my T.V and got up hoping to see Sydney and Derek’s faces waiting at the front door but when I went downstairs I saw a new set of faces, and one of them put me in awe. I swiftly opened the door and hugged one of my closest best friends “Elly! It’s been ages, eh?!” Elizabeth hugged me back, she’s the gal that introduced me to Derek and Sydney how could I not appreciate her?! “Yeah, it has what brought you back here?” We stepped outside “I broke my moms deal” She smiled “Yeah, surprised you lasted 3 years” We both laughed, we talked for a little bit. We were so into our conversation that we forgot about the girl standing next to Elizabeth. The girl caught my eye, she had auburn hair with purple streaks that were so old it looked pink, light skin, and shorter than me. I don’t remember Elly having a little sister, did they adopt? “Um, El, who’s the girl?” She looked surprised like she forgot the stranger even existed. She gave a soft laugh and smiled “This is Nancy, one of my close friends” Nancy smiled and reached out for a handshake and I shook her hand firmly, the way that dad taught me to. He said that a firm handshake said a lot about a man, it said that the man shaking your hand is confident, shows leadership, and knows what he’s doing. “Nice to meet you Max” “Nice to meet you, I’m Max” Dangit! Nancy laughed and so did Elizabeth. Elizabeth had quite the change in looks. The once dark red haired, pale skinned, and short girl now has brown hair mixed with her dark red hair, tanned, and is taller than me. They say that girls mature faster than boys but I’m 14 and still haven’t hit puberty, hopefully soon. At least Nancy is shorter than me, I wonder if the boys are taller than me? “Have you seen Derek or Sydney?” Elizabeth stopped her giggling with Nancy “Yeah, Sydney and I don’t talk anymore but Derek still hangs out with me and my pops” Sydney and Elly not talking?! “Why?” “Why What?” “Why would y’all stop talking? We were all best buddies when we left” Elly looked down “Syd and I dated for a year and it didn’t work out” She looked up eyes filling up with tears “Derek and I still hang out, I don’t know why” I looked down, was I really the invisible glue holding this darn group together? I sighed and said “That sucks,” I got to change the subject to something more positive “when did you meet Nancy?” She smiled “You still know how to make a girl smile after all these years” I smiled back at her and she answered “I met her soon after you left, with me now being the only girl member I had to find another” I laughed then realize she just called me a girl! I grinned “And who's this girl that left the group?” I asked playfully, she grinned back “You silly!” Elly then proceeded to softly punch me in my arm. We had all just sat down when Elizabeth noticed a dark silhouette coming towards us slowly “Do you guys notice that?” It had caught my eye earlier but I thought I was just seeing things “Yeah”  “What shadow?”  “It’s right there!” I not so subtly pointed at the being whilst yelling “Nance, it's right there how can you not see it?!” “This isn't funny guys! Especially you Elizabeth, you know I can't see without my glasses!” I feel a little surge of guilt, I just yelled at a girl that can't even see right now “Sorry Nancy, I always forget. You never wear them so I just get used to seeing you without them” They continued to apologize and I noticed a second figure in the night, my heart now pounding I stood up “You need something?!” I yelled in my ‘manly’ voice which was just me lowering my voice just a few decibels lower, but not too low after all it does have to be believable. The things didn't say anything, instead sprinting at us. I ordered Elizabeth and Nancy to run in the house, and they did. I sprinted full force towards the closest thing. This thing is gonna be sorry once I catch it! 7 more feet! Where's my kni- “Wait!” The thing yelled but it was too late,I tackled the figure. We both landed in mud, I quickly stood up and looked for the second figure while the first one spat out mud “What was that for?!” The figure asked “What was that for? Are you serious?!” It stood up “Yeah!” This angered me “One you stood 40 yards away from me and the girls like a creep,-” “It wasn't meant-” “I said like a creep! You were acting like a creep, I never said you were a creep” “But you meant it!” “Shut up!” “You shut up!” I heard a third voice “Girls! Girls! Girls! Calm down!” I looked to the figure, it sounded familiar. It continued “Well I’ll be damned it’s really you!” I stood there, like a bewildered idiot “And your are-” “Derek! Im Derek!” My face lit up “Dude! You could have said so! You scared Nancy and Elizabeth!” “Haha, I didn't scare you?” “I had to assert myself” “Sure, well have you met Aiden yet?” Spun towards the kid that I had tackled to the ground, now that were closer to light I saw that he’s covered in mud, I looked down and so am I “Aw man, sorry” He smiled “Its cool” I smiled then continued my conversation with Derek. Through the time I was talking to him I noticed he was of course taller than me, more muscular than me, and more bigger in general. It’s a sight to see if you knew him when he was still the scrawny, pale, and short kid. It looks like I'm that kid now “You know where Sydney is?” Derek answered with a sigh “He moved, this kid named Eric or Emilio moved in where he used to live” “Really?!” “Yeah, he moved last year” “He still in Ontario or-” “Yeah he’s still here just a mile or two farther than here” I couldn't help but feel relieved “Whew!” Aiden and Derek both laughed “Well it's getting dark, I should probably head in” Derek agreed “It was nice to meet you Max” “Same Aiden” I walked into my house holding my shoes “Looks like you met Aiden” I looked up to Dad and smiled “Yeah” Dad cocked his eyebrow up while lowering the other “And the mess?” I looked at him confused then realized “I may have tackled Aiden” He laughed then smiled “Clean yourself up” “Yes sir! Oh and Elizabeth and Nancy?” “They walked home while you two were talking” “That fast?” “You were out there for 30 minutes” I wore shock on my face “Yeah that makes sense” I said while walking to my room

Reviews

[Karen Redburn]

This is a nice little reunion story. The characters are fun and lively.

If I can offer a few suggests:

The wordiness, for me, is getting in the way of my enjoyment of the story, for example:

“Max" I heard my name be called softly by someone’s voice "Max" But I'm too lazy to even think of a response

You can remove "be" and "by someone's voice". Something like this: “Max," I heard my name called softly.

Having difficulty determining who is speaking, paragraph and more comma's might help. Example:

I sighed and said “That sucks,” I got to change the subject to something more positive “when did you meet Nancy?”
She smiled “You still know how to make a girl smile after all these years” I smiled back at her,
“I met her soon after you left, with me now being the only girl member I had to find another”

This is a fun read with likable characters. Hope the suggestions help support your writing and good job!

[Marshall Dylans]

Thanks for this review I will defiantly use your advice :)

[Karen Redburn]

Your welcome, not sure who you will be defying in using this review, but glad if it helps.