Progress

constructive criticism always welcome

 

 

A child
Picks oranges from the ground
but child’s hands are a bit to small
to hold oranges that big and round
so a child lets them fall.
Oranges roll.
Child frowns.
A child

picks oranges from the ground

 

Reviews

[Wórdsmíth]

well, pretty, now i wanna eat "oranges" after grapes...lol
this's again an amazin write, liked your workin' way, i think the child's you in your writin'...lol, that's crawlin' on knees to get oranges & i loved oranges too.
well written pretty. I think now your this writin' just came from your soul of "sweet oranges"...lol
i likes this piece again, you're now flutterin' me by your kinda words, you words're deep, appropriate.
it's good to read, to write...and moreover to think about oranges...lol
nice job pretty, your writin' flow's quite good as i saw.

[Robin]

an ouroboros in the key of try

[Marri]

hah, aptly said

[Circe]

a fantastically nutted out analogy... it's quite a gem, watching that procession of activity.. it is repeated over time and that's when progress starts to show.. excellent!

[Marri]

thank you so much! I was lost to a world of madness last days but coming back and finding your comments is a brilliant arrival at Creative Lane