Pawdy (with original Patois quotations)

It's a funny story about a man from the country.

Chapter 1

Fortnight

 

      When Pawdy was a young man, he once worked at a construction site as a labourer in Portland. His job was to mix the mortar and carry concrete blocks in a wheelbarrow. That was hard work, especially since he had to work in the broiling sun. The foreman was a wicked person; he did not pay the workers on time. Moreover, he would give them partial payment and tell them that he owes them the balance.

      Every payday he would go to a bar with the workers’ money in his briefcase and drink rum all evening. The workmen had to wait until nightfall to be paid. Sometimes he did not pay the workers; he told them that he did not collect any money from the contractor on that weekend. Therefore, they would have to wait until the other fortnight to get their meagre wages. He and the workers perpetually argued and quarrelled over money because of his dishonesty.

      On a windy afternoon, a friend of Pawdy bumped into him on the road, and he asked him where he worked. Pawdy told his friend that he worked at the construction site near the hill. “Ow lang yaw wok deh?” the friend asked. “Mi staat two week agoh. Dis a mi fuss fawtnite ahn mia goh get mi fuss piay tidey,” Pawdy responded cheerfully. “Mi sarry fi yuh caw da fuoman deh nuh like piay di werka dem. Ferdamore, mi siim inna wahn bar a drink white rum, soh yuh mite nuh get nuh money fran im,” the friend said. “Di bess advice mi cyang gi yuh a fi try fi get yuh money fran im anyow yuh cyang getty,” the friend added. Pawdy was surprised to hear such discouraging things. “Mi neva nuo sey di man did soh wickid, mi glad sey yuh tell mi,” he said. With that, his friend bade him farewell and went on his way.

      Pawdy thought about what his friend said to him, and he reflected on the two weeks of hard work that he did in the hot sun. He did not intend to work so hard for nothing, so he decided to take action to get his money from the foreman. “Mia goh adi bar fi siif im still deddeh,” He said to himself. A few minutes after that, Pawdy arrived at the bar, and he saw the foreman sitting on a stool drinking liquor from a glass and chatting with the cute bartender.

      He went in the bar, stood beside the counter, and cleared his throat. This drew everyone’s attention. “Wey yaw du ya?” the foreman asked. “Bossy, mi kom fi calleck mi piay, sah,” he replied, “Guh back adi canstruckshan site ahn wiet deh til mi kom,” the foreman said authoritatively.  Pawdy did not like the foreman’s attitude and tone of voice. “But itta get liet, soh mi wahn mi money now,” he demanded. “Di adda man dem deh adi site a wiet, soh oo yuh tink yuh is?” the foreman shouted.

      Pawdy was getting impatient. “Yaw goh gimmi mi money ar nat, sah?” he asked. “Mi sey guh back adi site ahn wiet like di addaz,” the foreman replied. When Pawdy saw that the foreman did not intend to pay him, he got angry and hit him in the head with a bar stool. The sharp blow knocked him out cold. Pawdy quickly searched the foreman’s pockets and took all the money he had along with the briefcase that contained the other workers’ money. He did not try to find out whether the foreman was dead or alive; he quickly ran from the bar with the money and found a hideout. Later that night, Pawdy took a bus to Kingston, and he never returned to Portland.

 

Chapter 2

G. Mills Engineering

Part 1

 

      Many years after Pawdy left the country, he got a job as a janitor at an engineering company called G. Mills Engineering. He was an illiterate old man, so he could not get a better job. Moreover, he was a backward person. Pawdy did not take good care of himself. Every day he would smoke cigars and drink white rum. He had a son who was a photographer. Some people called him Pawdy Bwoy.

      One day Pawdy was mopping the floor upstairs and the phone rang. He answered the phone, and the person on the line asked to speak to the supervisor. The supervisor’s name was Mr. Doctor, and he was standing downstairs at the time. Pawdy notified Mr. Doctor that someone wanted to speak to him on the phone. The supervisor answered the phone downstairs. While he was speaking to the person, he heard a loud sound in the receiver, and he realized the sound was coming from the phone upstairs, so he told Pawdy to hang up the phone. Pawdy did not even know what it meant to hang up a phone, so he put the receiver on top of a file cabinet. Mr. Doctor was still hearing the noise in the receiver, and he could not figure out what was happening.

      When the call ended, the supervisor went upstairs, and he was surprised to see the phone receiver hanging from the file cabinet. “Wa kyna foolinish dis?” he asked. “Yuh tell mi fi heng up di fuon, sah,” Pawdy replied. Mr. Doctor laughed at him, and then he called the other workmen and showed them what Pawdy had done. “Imagine, mi tell di man fi heng up di fone ahn dis a wey im du,” he said. Pawdy could not speak proper English. “Nuh tawk dem questian deh, missa Dacta,” he responded. One of his co-workers said, “Im dohn even nuo ow fi heng up wahn fone, wat a stupid man!” That was the best joke of the week, and everybody laughed at him.

 

Part 2

 

      The manager of G. Mills Engineering was Mr. Mills. This man behaved like a slave driver. He knew that Pawdy was a feeble man, yet he gave him a difficult task to remove a large heap of scrap metals from the back of the workshop. It took him about three weeks to move all the junk and he alone had to do the job by hand. Moreover, he had poor health because of his bad drinking and smoking habits.

      On the day that Pawdy finished moving the heavy pieces of steels, he went to buy lunch at a nearby shop. When he was crossing the road, a car hit him, and he fell face down on the road. He got up and brushed himself off, and he told the driver that he was okay. Pawdy had received minor bruises, but he did not realize he had also received internal injuries. Consequently, he passed away the following week. When Pawdy’s co-workers heard that he had died, they did not think the accident caused his death, so they blamed the boss for it. Moreover, they said that Mr. Mills was a wicked man because he worked Pawdy to death.

 

The End

Author's Note

Have fun, readers.