Make Me Stop Loving Her

This is the heart of the blues. I hope you can handle it.

For Stacy-Ann

The woman I loved was sitting at the ground floor of the North Stand.

I underwent three years of depression after our affair went wrong.

My heart was throbbing, and I was burning to tell her how sorry I was.

She briefly spoke to my partner so she definitely knew that I was there.

I concealed my misery when I learned that she did not ask after me.

She was amid the crowd just a few meters from the playing field.

Even though she was out of sight, I felt her energy in the atmosphere.

I could not articulate my eagerness to see her at that moment;

Nevertheless, I knew I was not going to show up abruptly at her seat.

I had a feeling that she would not greet me with her arms open wide.

Considering the situation between us, I did not know how she felt;

Neither did I have the slightest thought that she still loved me.

I seriously felt that I would never stop loving her regardless of the futility.

It took everything within me not to go over there and speak to her.

And my decision to avoid her plunged me back into deep depression.

She has been harbouring resentment towards me since we broke up.

And I was afraid that she would humiliate me in front of the crowd.

It was a very difficult situation and the distress was too much for me,

So I hung my head in shame and left the facility without seeing her.

I regretted that I did not go to her, and I cried inside on my way home.

I reflected with sorrow on the loss of the fervent love we shared in secret.

My greatest wish came true when I met her in the small classroom.

The first time she smiled at me, I knew that I would love her endlessly.

She was an inexperienced lover, but her touch filled me with emotion.

I appreciated her love and I treasured no other woman as I treasured her.

 

Even though she was a shy virgin and it was her first relationship,

She loved me the best way a virtuous woman could love a man.

I loved her excessively then, and now I still have the same love for her.

The passion brought tears of joy to my eyes when she kissed me,

But I have shed only tears of grief since the day fate separated us.

I was so careless that I lost her unique love, and it destroyed me;

Nevertheless, the thoughts of her continue to obsess my mind.

Why am I unable to forget the love and the happiness she brought me?

She is the object of my affection, the woman I desire most of all.

It seems that nothing on earth can make me stop thinking about her.

I am falling apart, and I cannot live with this sadness anymore.

O Lord, take away my life if my arms will never embrace her again.

Please take this painful instinct of love from my broken heart.

Do not let me be constantly in love with someone I cannot have.

Make the woman I love come back to me or make me stop loving her.

Author's Note

From my elite collection of love poems.