WTF!!!!

I basically was breaking down and tried to sum everything up without too many details but by my age

Growing up, my grandma raised me.
Until I was 20, but since I was a newborn baby.
She was always my mommy and my daddy.
Even though both still exist.
They couldn't handle the responsibility, so they decided to quit.
Which was only the beginning of my pain.
At the age of 6,
I felt the hands of a man.
So young, but wasn't that dumb to understand.
At the age of 12.
I relived the nightmare that felt more like hell .....
I even changed my ways but still no one could tell.
But at that age, I discovered my passion.
My get away from the pain and the madness.
At the age of 16.
There wasn't a day I didn't write,
There wasn't a day I didn't draw.
That was the only way I knew how to hide all the flaws.
I fucked up by the age 17.
When I thought love was something that I need.
And I allowed that love to beat me, use me, and defeat me until I was 19.
I can't just skip 18 because that was the age....
well the first time that life was growing inside of me.
But the love I thought I found at 17 , took that life away from me.
Bye the age of 20.
God took the only one I had home.
Sick on my birthday and gone 2 months away .
Besides guilt for being reckless and rebellious towards the only person that stayed,
I feel so angry and full of hate.
Tried being a daddy's girl but soon was betrayed.
Trying to be around my mom, who honestly brought more tears and shame.
Still at 20,
And love is my biggest fear.
Currently trying to love someone,
But his love for me doesn't seem to be how I want it to be or maybe just not clear.
So once again, mentally I'm lonely...
I destroyed myself but I didn't start the pain .
I'm trying to rebuild who my grandma raised me to be.
But the strength isn't easily gain.....
Why the f**k my life can't just change

Reviews

[00000000000000000000000..]

You seen that road of life guess we all seen some roads and some overtook us sitting our lives in a still. But A grandma does raise a fool we are the blame no1 else in life can we say did all I am one and my grandma took control at the age of 7 and yes I was rebellious as well. Hey, were fighters we got this and yeah you know that:) Loved your write:)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

I know what you feel, though Im a guy, life hits hard, and let me tell you, pebbles can hurt more than boulders. All I know is that you gotta take life by its throat and make it do what you say, or survive its storms. One way or another you will make it out.

[writ rajat]

Very nice family poem I like it