THE REUNION

I intend for this to be the beginning of a book I expect to finish. If you read it please let me know what you think of it - Thank you - Dave

                                                       THE REUNION

     Sue walked slowly down the path to the rustic cabin.  It was more weather beaten than she remembered, but then it's been quite a few years since she had been here.  Taking a cursory look inside she decided that with a bit of hard work it could be made to look almost as good as new.  She laughed at the idea since she hadn't really thought about coming back here to live.  Even when she lived nearby, they had only used their uncles' place as a summer refuge from the heat of the summer.  He died several years ago and no one had really taken care of the place.

     Making her way down to the dilapidated dock, with its' loose and missing boards she sat on its' edge, took her deck shoes off and dangled her feet in the cool refreshing water of the lake.  She began to recall all the wonderful times she and her friends had had here.  It all seemed so long ago, but now she was back for her high school reunion and she wanted to remember.  The longer she sat the more the memories of the past came flooding back to her.

     Singing, chirping birds filled the air with their pleasant noise.  Reflecting on all the times she and her girlfriends would chase and catch the beautiful butterflies brought a bright smile to her freckled face.  Many were the times they would go into the forest to find the honeysuckle plants so they could enjoy their nectar.  There were also the wonderful nights when they would come down, lie on their blankets and try to count all the lightning bugs flitting about.  Later they'd catch a few of them in a jar and take them home to light up the bedroom, later let them go into the summer night.

     Most of Sues' friends considered her pretty.  She was the only girl in her class that had red hair and she wore it in a pixie hair style, like her favorite actress, Audrey Hepburn.  Of course Hepburn didn't have red hair, but neither did she have piercing blue eyes.  Rather than being jealous of her, her friends admired her for her wit and independence.

     She never really had a boyfriend.  It could have been because she thought of herself as a "tomboy".  It was a good thing for her that she was very athletic and she got along well with the boys, they allowed her to play in most of their games she was so good they had her pitch when they played baseball.

     The boy who was closest to Sue and who many of the guys thought may have been her boyfriend was Paul.  Like Sue he was very good in sports and like Sue he played a mean game of chess.  They both enjoyed listening to classical music which they enjoyed together while he accompanied her to the cabin where the two of them played chess.

     During a break one afternoon, while sitting on the dock they noticed what seemed to be a new family of ducklings coming down to the lake for the first time.  They were so cute and noisy.  Their mother was scooting around trying to keep them altogether.  Try as she may, one of them drifted away and floated just under the dock that Paul and Sue were sitting on.  While the mother was looking about frantically, Paul and Sue watched, fascinated.  

     Without saying a word, Paul reached down and scooped the little feathery fellow up.  He was so cute and fuzzy looking.

     "I want to keep him for a pet" said Paul.

     "You can't do that" Sue screamed, "it would die!" 

Meanwhile the mother duck came close to the dock squawking up a storm of protest, flapping its wings and quacking loudly.

     "Paul." she pleaded,"you've got to give it back, please?"

     Paul looked at her and for the first time he saw tears rolling down her freckled face.  Leaning over the edge of the dock he gently placed the duckling back in the water.  Its mother came over to it and the two of them quickly paddled away.

     Paul,turning to Sue could see she was still crying.  Taking her in his arms he gave her, her first kiss.

     "Paul Harkness, if you ever tell anyone about this, I'll beat you to a pulp, and you know I could do it."

     "You mean the kiss?"

     Taking him by surprise, she grasped his two arms and kissed him.

      "No, I mean about my crying."

Reviews

[Eddie Castaneda]

It thought it was interesting of how Paul thought that Sue told him not to tell anyone that she kissed him when in reality, she was telling him not to tell anyone she cried.

[Dave]

Thank you - I was trying to really establish the fact that she was or at least thought of herself as a tomboy.
Take care - Dave

[augustus]

A very well written piece. You set the scene so well!

[barleygirl]

This is a well-told beginning to your story and I like how you use many vivid details to paint the scene & give some background while introducing your characters. In a couple spots, in close succession, you say baby duck(s) is/are "so cute" -- you could pump up such descriptions. A good place to use a metaphor . . . ducks as fluffy as dandelions (a dumb example, but you catch my meaning). I do not find it believable that this girl was on a big crying jag over a misplaced duckling. I could see a tear escaping down her cheek, but I think it's too sappy & unrealistic to imagine her crying even after the duck & duckling are reunited. Maybe I'm too jaded for this level of romantic writing! But your storytelling is well done overall! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dave]

Margie - perhaps you're right. I was, I believe, trying to contrast this "tom boy" with the soft caring girl wanting to rescue the duckling. Okay, so its' a bit sappy.
The story continues and I expect it might become a novel, I'm not sure at this point.
Thanks for taking thr time to read it - Dave

[barleygirl]

I got an idea about your story. It won't hurt my feelings if you ignore it, but I'll share it. If this lady is crying so dramatically from such a harmless duckling moment, you would need to put something into your story to make us believe that this level of drama is believable. Here's one possibility. So she cries & the guy kinda looks at her funny, like, what's all this drama about? Or maybe he asks. She could share some scene from her past that would justify such an extreme response to a little duckling incident. For example, maybe she had a pet when she was young & she watched it be hurt or tortured somehow. Or maybe she lost a child herself or she was witness to a beloved sister losing a child . . . something extreme like this would explain why a woman would go so extreme in responding to the duckling situation. Whatever the motivation for being so cry-baby about it, this could be revealed in conversation between the two & also serve as an ice-breaker.

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for sharing this. I sent you some notes that may or may not be useful

[Samuel Dickens]

This one really catches my interest. Just the kind of story I love to read. Young love...ahhhhh--is there anything in life more wonderful?
"Sue watched fascinated"--I'm pretty sure this needs a comma after watched. An error here--"Sue screamed, "it's die."

[Dave]

Samuel - thanks, again, I believe I've made the necessary corrections.

Take care - Dave