F**k.

I wanted to start this poem as an inner thought poem. It led me to talk about my past drinking problems at a young age, Schizophrenia, & the broken heart that the only person I ever truly loved left.

So these thoughts are written with the intention to share?

Whoah, Weird.

Thoughts that I soak in the heart & Leave it to grow under my hair.

Head, beard.

Their just words I write when I'm either too drunk or too high.

In my room writing until teenage heartbreak goes by.

But damn, Me and 8 shots are a bad combination.

Guess Mom should've changed the damn combination.

Now I'm drinking tequila with a cactus on the bottle.

My dads favorite brand,

He said drinking this stuff really makes you a man.

F**k, Then I'm a whole bottle of a man.

They guy in command.

The dude in the circus that tells the tiger to stand.

But I feel weak.

Vulnerable & alone.

I spent this week.

Staying at home.

I hate my house but for the mean time its the only place I feel serene.

The only place I can sleep for a second and have a 20 hour dream.

Yeah the voices in my head are still there.

& I'm pretty sure there not mine.

I mean since when did I sound like a deep voiced maniacal guy?

I try to block it out, But whats the use.

I've been trying since I was 5 when I sipped on my juice.

10 years later & I still sip on some juice.

And my best friend's my muse.

She's the reason I love & can fight inner mental abuse.

But he took her from me.

With selfish intentions.

You see I gave her my heart & hoped she was possessive.

Turns out he became over obsessive.

And now I spent my nights reminiscing times & thinking about her.

Numbing the hate towards him & learning to live without her.

Weird sense & vibe comes from that guy.

I hope I'm not right.

Because I hope to die in my sleep not while I look in his eyes.

While he choking my neck & a knife's on my side.

Smiling & crying while he's ending my life.

Yeah, I pray to God I'm not right.

Damn, I wish I could pray every night.

 

 

~Reptar.

 

Reviews

[Dove]

I really like this poem, good job